The Road Most Travelled
by LECwrite
Summary: This begins where season 5 ended - replacement of season 6 because no one thought Pacey the stockbroker was a good idea and 'that Eddie Guy' was an idiot so...neither exists. First FanFic ever, first story ever published. (A lot of offensive language)
1. Chapter 1

The sound of the city, drowned out by the music from the jukebox as it flowed from the continual swinging of the door from Hell's Kitchen, in waves of drums and guitar. Raucous laughter was the secondary sound heard through the din. Pacey leant against the side of the building in exhaustion. Back in Boston for three weeks and his first night off work in almost as many weeks. He was spending it at a venue which was not much different than his place of work. The crowd was scarcely younger and conceivably slightly less pretentious but by no means any less loud. Pacey wondered if his state of despair was because he was a man that worked with responsibilities, instead of studying and abusing his body with drugs and alcohol like most his age. Joey was right, he was the most grown up among his friends. Or maybe it was something entirely different.  
The door to the bar swung open yet again, Joey emerged. Laughing as she stepped over the threshold. She stopped, her face fell as she caught sight of Pacey.  
"Hey Potter." Pacey smiled, his eyes half closed as he turned to look out over the street to a woman dragging a set of drums through an apartment block doorway. The woman was yelling out in a distinct British accent to a woman down the street.  
"Witter." Joey smiled, leaning her back against the wall beside Pacey. They stood in comfortable silence for a while before Joey spoke. "You okay? you seem a little perturbed this evening." Joey turned to face her friend, her expression questioning. Pacey inhaled, burdened with a large invisible weight on his shoulder. He glanced at Joey, she raised her eyebrows as she waited for him to speak. Pacey shrugged, looking back over the road to the loud British woman and her friend. He watched while they dragged their music equipment up the stairs. Realising Joey's question did not seem to be rhetorical, Pacey sighed.  
"It's nothing, just me and my epic nature of feeling insecure and suspicious." Pacey attempted a smile laced with as much nonchalance as he could muster. The concerned frown which spread across Joey's face was unmistakable. She stood up straight, pushing her hands into the pockets of her jeans. Her eyes searched Pacey's for a sign of an explanation into his solemn demeanor. "Don't give me that look Joey."  
"What look?" She smiled, knowing what he meant but feigning ignorance all the same. Pacey stood up away from the wall, mimicking her own stance with his hands in his cargo pants.  
"The one where you know there is something on my mind i am not saying because you know me so well."  
"Am I wrong Pace?" Joey chewed on her lower lip, waiting for Pacey to answer her. She knew with everything which transpired over the past year they were not as close as they once were. She also knew they could not have drifted so far apart she could not tell when he stood afflicted by something. Joey felt he were ready to open up, his shoulders dropped and his stature relaxed slightly as he opened his mouth to speak.  
The door swung open again.  
"Hey you two, wondered what happened to you. You can not possibly be bailing on us could you?" Audrey stuck her head through the doorway her glossy lips pouting at her roommate and boyfriend. Joey spun around, she shook her head grinning. Pacey forced a smile. He moved closer to Audrey and slipped his arms around her waist.  
"Honey, I am beat. I think I might call it a night." He leant down to kiss her goodnight. Audrey moved expertly to avoid him, kissing him quickly on the cheek and grabbing Joey by the wrist as she pulled her toward the entrance.  
"Fine then party pooper. I will talk to you tomorrow."  
Joey noticed the look of disappointment on Pacey's face. She looked between Audrey and Pacey in confusion . Something appeared off, she wondered if whatever was going on was the cause for Pacey's mood. Normally the couple were all over each other to the point it made others uncomfortable to watch their public display of foreplay. Joey watched as Pacey stood outside for a few moments before pushing his hands in his pockets and walking off alone.

Pacey entered the house of Grams silently, trying to be careful not to wake Mrs Ryan. The kitchen light streamed down the hallway illuminating the path before him, he noted the sound of silver clinking on fine china. Grams must be awake he decided as he made his way towards the kitchen.  
Evelyn Ryan sat peacefully at the kitchen bench, her back to Pacey as he entered. She appeared lost in thought as he approached. Her hands clasped around her tea cup and her elbows resting on the bench.  
"Evening Mr. Witter." She smiled softly. Pacey grinned and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. She looked up at him, her brow furrowed at the sight of him.  
"Heavy thoughts for such a late hour " Gram noted as Pacey reached into the cupboard for a glass. He stopped to look at her as he opened the fridge.  
"What makes you think ..."  
"I think that we can agree in my advanced age that I, dear boy am wiser and far more knowledgeable that you are." Pacey grinned and nodded in agreement. Grams sat and watched Pacey as he poured a glass of orange juice, fully aware of the eyes trained upon him as he moved. He shifted uneasily beneath her scrutiny. Certainly not something he wished to discuss, least of all with the God-fearing Evelyn Ryan. It wasn't because of her religious stance, more her age and the level of respect she commanded. Pacey did not feel comfortable with the topic of conversation which would be open up if her were to unload his quandary upon her. He simply shook his head and gave his best smile to help obscure what he was thinking and feeling. Enough so he could bluff to make it appear it were no big deal and he more than capable of tackling it himself. Pacey rinsed his glass and headed for the stairs.  
"Goodnight Grams."  
"Goodnight Pacey." She responded in kind with the smallest hint of a frown as she watched him disappear upstairs to the attic. Once upstairs to the safety of his room, Pacey let out a groan of exhaustion coupled with frustration. Things with Audrey had been getting decidedly worse as the weeks went on. She was distancing herself from him, slowly retreating by not talking to him and allowing them to exist together in periods of silence and conversations unspoken. More than anything Audrey had been shying away from the slightest of physical touch, she avoided being alone with him on most occasions and seemed disinterested in him intimately. Pacey knew there was a conversation which needed to transpire and soon.  
Pacey lay awake for what seemed like hours, he heard as Jack and Jen stumbled home, whispering and giggling as they each retreated to their respective bedrooms. Silence lingered, almost deafening as Pacey lay in his bed alone to grapple with his thoughts.  
Tomorrow. He would talk to Audrey tomorrow.

Joey had been up for hours and had already returned from her daily morning run. Audrey lay in bed, her pillow pulled across her face to ward off the morning sun through their dorm room window. Joey watched with amusement as she witnessed Audrey's protest to mornings. A dance she participated in every morning with a groan of disdain in her hungover state of self pity and queasiness. Joey smirked as she nudged her with the toe of her right runner.  
"Hey sleepy, getting up before noon?" She grinned. Audrey groaned beneath the covers.  
"Fuck off Joey. Spread that sickening cheer somewhere else and let me die in peace." Joey rolled her eyes ignoring her. She sat down on the bed and peeled the quilt down and flipped the pillow of her face. Audrey opened an eye and let out a sound of exasperation and annoyance. " Don't you have some professor's ass to kiss somewhere ?"  
Joey smiled and shook her head. Audrey groaned at the realisation Joey was not going anywhere. Joey's face became stormy remembering the display the night before, she wanted to ask her friend about it as it had been bothering her all morning.  
"Audrey, what's going on with you and Pacey?" Audrey's eyes opened, she appeared suddenly wide awake.  
"What ever do you mean Bunny?" Audrey battered her eyelids in an attempt to evade the question, noting the strained expression on Audrey's face Joey knew she was hiding something.  
"Audrey." Joey's eyes widened, her expression unforgiving. Audrey shifted uneasily beneath her friends gaze with the appearance of a young child who had spilt juice on the rug. She lowered her eyes. Joey sat a while in silence, waiting for Audrey to answer her. She was not prepared for what she had to say.  
"I'm pregnant"  
Lost for words Joey sat in a haze of stupor. Without knowing what to say or how to say it. She had no idea what she thought. empathetic, understanding. Completely fucking angry.  
"What?" She hissed, she hadn't meant for it to come out as it had but she was angry. Why? because she had been reckless with her future and had thrown her whole life and college away or because she was pregnant and had clearly not told Pacey? No that was not it. She was furious, Audrey was pregnant, she was pregnant with Pacey's baby. It was Pacey's baby. "What the hell are you doing Audrey? So Pacey? he doesn't know?" Audrey shook her head. Joey could feel the blood in her body begin to rise in temperature to the point it felt as though she were burning from the inside out. "Why not Audrey, don't you think he deserves to know? I am pretty sure that on a scale of things to be included in on - impregnating one's girlfriend would be pretty fucking high on the list of things to -"  
"It's not his!" Audrey snapped before burying her head in her hands and throwing herself back down on the bed sobbing. Joey felt the anger slip from her body and give way to sympathy. Relieved she leant over to rest a friendly hand on her friend.  
"It's Okay Audrey, we'll work this out. I promise." Audrey pushed herself up with deliberation to face Joey.  
"I can't have this baby Joey" She stated. Joey nodded by way of reply, allowing Audrey into her arms to be comforted. She spoke to her in a soft and hushed tone she used to comfort Alexander as a baby. Joey say with her an rubbed her back, her mind wandered to the news. She was certainly relieved that Audrey was not carrying Pacey's baby. She began to feel guilty that she was not being as supportive of her friend as she should have been. At least she hadn't been until she learned that Pacey was not going to be a father. After everything now what? Joey wondered what would happen next, the fact remained Audrey had been unfaithful and had betrayed Pacey. A betrayal he would not take lightly and may not forgive. Tears formed in Joey's eyes. This was going to kill him.

Pacey sat in the kitchen studying the rental listings for an apartment. Jack sat opposite, eating breakfast and reading the back of the cereal box. Pacey looked up at Jack with contemplation. Feeling his gaze Jack looked back at Pacey with curiosity while his spoon suspended mid mouthful.  
"You know what Jackers, while my job at Equinox pays better than it did at Civilisation. I think it would be even more comfortable to be able to split the costs. I for one can not live the rest of my life shut up in Grams' attic." Jack raised an eyebrow.  
"You mean a room mate?" Pacey nodded. Jack set his spoon back into the bowl and fell silent while he mulled the idea over in his head.  
"You may be onto something Pace. It's getting a little awkward around here with the sneaking of guys upstairs and such. Although for me to be able to do so I would need a little extra cash" Pacey nodded in agreement. They sat together in silence for a while until Pacey's eyes lit up.  
"Harry has asked for his shifts to be cut so he can spend more time with his girlfriend, so there's a bar tending position open at work."  
"Yeah?"  
"Interested?" Jack grinned, holding his hand out to shake Pacey's. "Great. I'm going to make some calls then." Pacey grabbed the classifieds and disappeared up the the stairs to his room. Jen entered the kitchen yawning. She sat at the stool beside Jack, groaning while her head fell into her folded arms on the bench.  
"Big night" Jack grinned. Jen groaned pulling her hand up to swipe at him with minute energy and even less dexterity. The box of corn flakes catapulted through the air and showered the floor with it's contents. Jack and Jen moved together to peer over the edge at the mess before them. Jack looked at Jen.  
"I am not cleaning that shit up."

Thankful for the end of the lunch rush Pacey cleaned off his station while Jack shook hands with his new employer; Gerald. Grinning from ear to ear Jack walked over to Pacey once he had finished. Pacey shook his friend's hand to congratulate him.  
"I have lined up a couple of places to see in my lunch break. You free now?"  
"Sure am Pace. Let's go"  
Pacey and Jack left Equinox and entered the parking lot. Noting Pacey's quiet countenance, Jack cleared his throat.  
"You alright Pace?" Pacey glanced at Jack, a flicker of uncertainly in his eye. He nodded and gave a weak smile. Jacks eyes narrowed, he had know Pacey long enough to know his false indifference a facade. Observing the unease across Jacks face Pacey managed a more convincing chuckle and nodded again.  
"I'm fine Jack. It's nothing. Work stuff is all" He lied. Pacey tapped the steering wheel in beat with the soft rock that came through the stereo. Jack sat looking out the window noting the building numbers.  
"Here, that's it. Right here Pace" Jack pointed a finger to an apartment block. A slightly overgrown garden hid most of the entrance to the building. Pacey found a car space on the other side of the street. A woman stood close by with a folder in her arms. Pacey noted she must be the realtor they were meeting.  
"Hi, Beth is it?" Pacey smiled extending his hand "I'm Pacey, this is Jack"  
"It's great to meet you, shall we go in?" The boys nodded in approval and followed the petite redhead through the entrance and into the foyer.  
"I am told the elevator works on occasion but try not to rely on it as more often than not it is out of order."  
"Well i guess it's a good thing we are both young and virile young men then" Jack spoke laughing. Beth smiled warmly at him as she headed for the stairs. The building was an older building but by no means completely in disarray. Mostly aged with time. They made their way to the third floor where Beth moved to the first door beside the staircase. She unlocked it, gave a shove on the door to open it. The smell that greeted them engulfed them in a blanket of staleness and mould. Pacey screwed his nose up in offence. As their eyes adjusted to the low light inside the apartment Pacey came to realise that despite the offending smell akin to a place that had been shut up for quite a time without ventilation, the place was reasonably kept. Jack wandered around peeking in a room off the hall. The living areas were open plan, Pacey noted the kitchen first. Appliances looked clean and more modern than he had expected. Jack moved out of Pacey's sight for a moment before returning. Pacey could tell he liked the new place, he grinned and nodded while listening to Beth talk about the apartment and surrounding area. After the last two apartments they had viewed this place was a veritable castle in comparison. Pacey checked his watch, having only fifteen minutes left of his lunch break before he needed to be back in the kitchen to prepare for the dinner shift he spoke up.  
"Beth I think this is the best place we have seen" he looked over to Jack for his confirmation in to which he replied with an enthused nod of his head." It's close to our work and not too far from Boston Bay, I think this is perfect for us" Beth smiled.  
"Great. I will give you a call once I have the lease ready for you to sign." They left the apartment descended, the stairs and thanked Beth for her time. Pacey pulled back out into the street, heading for Grams' to drop Jack off before heading back to the kitchen at Equinox.


	2. Chapter 2

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 2

Joey and Audrey stood waiting for Jen. They were going out for their weekly mid week dinner at Equinox. Jack had rung them excitedly about his new job he started that night as well as news he and Pacey had found an apartment to rent. Joey was about to poke her head in the front door of Grams' to call out to Jen to get a move on when she finally appeared. Smiling apologetically as she pulled the door closed behind her.

"Sorry, was just on the phone to Dawson. He's going to be in town over the weekend" Jen explained as they began walking together. Joey was taken back by this, she hadn't spoken to Dawson for a few weeks, the first conversation they had since the beginning of summer. Dawson had said goodbye to her and she had chased after him to catch him at the airport. He had left her for L.A on good terms.

"Oh. Is he staying at Grams' ?" Joey asked Jen.

"No, I thought maybe that was why he was calling me, he just wanted to let me know that he would be in town. He's staying in Capeside while he's here. Have you spoken to him at all lately Joey?" The surprise in Jen's voice was clear. She was sure they spoke continuously.

Audrey groaned and linked elbows with both of her friends on either side of her. "Gosh girls, let's not dwell on Dawson this, Dawson that. It's getting sooo annoying. Let's just have a great time"

The brightly lit facade of Equinox served as the perfect segue onto the topic of Jack's new bar tending job. They said talking animatedly while they waited for their food to arrive. Joey glanced over to the bar to catch Pacey's eye while he waited for Jack to return with his bottle of water. Joey waved at him and smiled. Audrey and Jen were laughing over their conversation when Audrey's face fell at the sight of her boyfriend, he smiled at her. Audrey tore her face away to look out over the restaurant, Pacey sighed, took his water and disappeared back into the kitchen. Jen had been watching the couples wordless exchange with suspicion and although she kept her mouth firmly shut she did however detect a curious expression wash over Joey's face for a brief moment.

Conversation was steered toward the direction of the girls being roped into helping Jack and Pacey move into their new apartment. Jen and Joey laughed at how the two boys would get along when it was only the two of them without any constant female supervision they were used to.

"Well at least you won't feel as though you are 'living in sin' in the attic under Grams' nose" Jen grinned wagging her eyes brows suggestively at Audrey. Her face turned crimson, certainly not with embarrassment. Audrey Liddel was certainly no prude, she was quite the bawdy woman with no inhibitions at all. Jen noticed it was something else that was causing her discomfort.

"I - I need to use the bathroom" She stammered, getting to her feet with haste. Jen watched her as she quickly disappeared into the fray of diners. Joey also watched as Audrey walked away.

"What is going on here Joey?" Joey looked back at Jen sitting across from her, her eyes watching for a sign that would give it away. Joey quickly regained her composure and smiled. She shook her head and shrugged.

"Oh you know Audrey, ever the actress. There's always something with her." She tried in vain to quash any conversation that might arise and cause her to deal with Audrey's situation. Jen was unconvinced. She sat, glaring at her friend.

"Jo. There's something going on and you know about it. I understand if it's none of my business but could you at least stop insulting my intelligence here Joey?"

Joey let out a deep sigh, she hated that she was heavy laden with Audrey's secret. She hated that she had to hold back something from friends that she had known for a long time. She was furious that Pacey was still in the dark over all of it and Audrey was too scared or selfish to tell him. Joey opened her mouth to speak when Pacey joined them at their table, he groaned in exhaustion while he sat and finished off the last of his water.

"Why'd Audrey leave?" He asked. Joey shook her head.

"She didn't. She just went to the bathroom"

"Ah no she didn't, i saw her leave the restaurant as i came out of the kitchen Jo." Jen and Joey sat up in confusion and looked around them. Joey chewed on her lip at the realisation of Audrey's cowardice. Jen's suspicions seemed to be realised as she looked at the hurt and confused look on Pacey's face and the visage of contrition on Joey's. Joey sat awkwardly as she sat waiting for someone to intrude into the awkward silence that had fallen over her small group of friends. Breathing in relief at Jen's voice.

"So who's coming out for drinks after Jack's shift?" She asked. Joey smiled regretfully and shook her head.

"I have an essay I wanted to start on. Don't want to get on Hetson's bad side." Jen nodded in acclamation. She then turned her attention to Pacey, who had been sitting in silence with his thoughts far away from the idea of celebratory drinks for his newest coworker. "Pace, you joining us?" He pulled himself from his introspection to look at Jen with with a light smile. He shook his head and stood up.

"I am beat ladies, i think i'll be calling it a night." Joey stood up too.

"Don't suppose you could give me a lift?" She asked in hope. Pacey nodded, soon after saying goodbye to Jen they found themselves outside in the parking lot. Joey noticed something in Pacey's face, a tension that had first formed the instant Audrey had turned from his look in the restaurant. It had become decidedly more apparent. Joey knew this man well, perhaps better than his own family. She wrestled with the idea of asking him if he wanted to talk about it but she knew where the topic of conversation would lead. Joey was not ready to walk down that path. It was the path that would lead her to having to choose where her loyalties lay. Were they to her friend and room mate, a woman who had helped her through a lot the past year or were they to a man she had known most of her life, a man that she loved and wanted to see happy. Joey did not want to make that choice so she chose to ignore Pacey's carriage of torment.

Pacey glanced over to Joey as they walked in silence to his car. She said nothing, the woman who knew him so well and so completely said absolutely nothing to him. Pacey could feel the anger growing inside of him. Not completely directed at Joey but at least in part. There was something going on with Audrey, Pacey had no doubt in his mind that there was. What angered him was that he had been in a funk for over a week and Joey had said nothing to him. She would certainly have noticed and she had not asked him if he was ok or if he wanted to talk. Fair enough he thought to himself, they did not need to sit down and engage in a barnacle for your thoughts because that's not what the problem was. The problem was why Joey hadn't asked him what was eating at him, the only explanation was that she already knew and was with holding information from him.

Pacey unlocked his car and held the passenger door open for Joey, she smiled at him with her beautiful, lopsided smile as he shut her door. Pacey sat in the drivers seat and paused as he was about to start the engine, he hesitated and pulled his hand away from the ignition. He looked at Joey who returned his look with a face of apprehension.

"Pace ..."

"What's going on Joey? You know something that has to do with me and Audrey. I know, you have probably sworn some sister pact of loyalty or what ever but Jo..." Pacey turned to gaze out of the wind shield ahead. Joey chewed on her lower lip trying to find the right words to say to him. A big part of her wanted to tell him that Audrey was pregnant and that the baby wasn't his. She had sworn to Audrey that she would not say anything and let Audrey tell him herself. Even if she hadn't made that promise she felt that it really wasn't her place to say anything, it was not her business. More that anything she did not want to be the one to tell Pacey and be caught in the crossfire that would ensue.

"Pacey, you're right. I do know but i also know it is not my place and that you need to talk to her." Pacey frowned and nodded, starting the car finally. They rode in silence to the Worthington dorms. Pacey got out of the car and walked Joey to her room.

Audrey sat on the bed listening to her head phones and singing along to a rock song that blasted into her ears. Silent to everyone else. Her eyes widened at the sight of Pacey in the doorway, she shot a venomous look towards Joey and forced a smile at Pacey . Quickly composing her self, Audrey tossed her headphones down and bounced over to Pacey with forced affection. She threw her arms around his neck and moved to kiss him. Pacey stepped back and took Audrey by the wrists, removing her arms from him. He smiled weakly.

"Audrey, let's go and talk"

Feeling the inevitable, Audrey simply nodded solemnly and allowed Pacey to take her hand and move down the hall.

Pacey had no idea what he was going to say or how to even begin the conversation. They walked along the paths of Worthington's grounds, Pacey slowly scuffed his feet, his hands in his pocket. He waited five or so minutes before he spoke, realising Audrey was not likely to start this conversation.

"Audrey, maybe instead of evading me at every turn you could just tell me what is happening. I think I deserve an answer." He put a hand on her shoulder to stop her, she turned to him with tears in her eyes, glistening beneath the lamp posts that were placed sporadically across the grounds. Pacey noted the hesitation. "Is it me, have I done something wrong Audrey" His eyes pleaded with her "Ever since we got back from L.A you have been different, distant. It's with me especially so i can't ... I can't help but think it's because I have done something wrong."

The tears that were building in her eyes now begun to fall down her cheeks. She took a breath before finally working up the courage to look at him, to tell him what should have been said weeks ago.

"I'm pregnant"

Pacey took a step back, his eyes furrowed in disbelief. He felt as though he had been knocked in the stomach and was gasping for air.

"What? but...but how?" Pacey searched his mind for a time where they had not been careful. "We've always been careful Audrey, always." Audrey put her head in her hands and began to sob silently. Pacey moved to Audrey and pulled her towards him, he held her while she sobbed.

"I can't have a baby Pacey, I can't" Pacey kissed the top of her head and looked at her with sincerity.

"Ok, ok we will work this out. Why didn't you tell me Audrey. This involves me too. We need to work this out together."

"No!" Audrey pulled away, distancing herself from him again "It's my fault and I will deal with this. I need to deal with this." Pacey looked at her in surprise at her outburst before realisation set in. His eyes narrowed as she refused to look at him, choosing instead to look out towards a group of college students making their way into a nearby building.

"Audrey?" He felt his hands ball into fists in anger. " There's more isn't there, come on then Audrey. Out with it." Pacey knew what she was going to say before she said, before he had mentally begun to turn his back and walk away in disgust.

"It's not yours" She supplied in almost a whisper. Pacey did not trust himself to speak, he stepped back, feeling the taste of bile in his mouth. He nodded and turned away from her. "Pacey, please. " She pleaded with him. He stopped, not daring to turn around.

"What Audrey, what do you want me to say?"

"Anything, say something Pacey, yell, scream, _something_." Audrey shifted uneasily as she saw the tension in Pacey's body. Still not trusting himself to turn around he walked away. He left her standing beneath the lamp posts of Worthington and walked away.

Jen sat with Jack and looked at him in complete disbelief. She shook her head at him. They sat on stools at the bar of Hell's Kitchen, talking about Jacks job and the new apartment. Jen had complained that he was leaving her to battle life completely alone and miserable. Jack simply laughed at her melodrama and shook his head.

"Really Jen? we are going to live ten minutes away from each other. Get a grip and stop being so clingy." Jen replied with a pout.

"Have you noticed the weirdness in our group of late?" She asked him, taking a more serious tone. Jack sat in contemplation before speaking.

"Yes i have now that you mention it. Pacey seems a little, er well less Pacey i guess." Jen nodded in agreeance.

"It's the same with Audrey, and Joey as well." Jack looked up in confusion. Jen continued "Joey seems a little off, like maybe she knows what's happening between them or something. I asked her earlier tonight about it and I think she was going to tell me something but then Pacey turned up. Audrey left the restaurant too. Before Pacey finished work. There's something going on there and I am worried."

"I know, I asked Pacey today if he were alright he just said it was work or something" Jack shrugged "I don't know, i think we should mind our own business on this Jen. I mean if they wanted to talk about it they would. Maybe we should just wait."

Jen sighed and nodded. Jack was right, but Jen felt as though she should try and help them in some way. Be a person they could talk to.

Joey was leafing through her notes in anxious anticipation while she waited for Audrey to return. She looked up once she heard the shuffling of feet outside their door and the familiar sound of the door knob being turned. Audrey's face was tear stained and wretched. Her eyes were swollen from crying, her body trembled. Joey stood up and pulled Audrey into her arms, she rubbed her back hoping to console her. Audrey sniffled in her arms, Joey could feel the warm tears soaking into her shirt. Not knowing what to say Joey simply held her, hoping Audrey would speak first.

"It's over Joey. I have ruined everything"

"What happened?" Joey asked, allowing Audrey to wipe her eyes and face and sit down on her bed. Audrey shook her head. New tears forming as she thought about their conversation, how Pacey had held her and said they would get through it together. She thought of his face when he had realised he was not the father, how her betrayal had reflected back at her in his eyes. Her breath hitched in her throat as she thought of her betrayal over a month ago in L.A. How knowing that if Pacey found out it would kill him to learn who she had been with when she hadn't been with him. Joey moved towards Audrey, knowing there was not much to say. She sat beside her in silence.

Jen decided it a good idea to sleep in as she did not have classes until that afternoon, the phone however thought differently as the shrill ringing sounded through the empty house. Jen groaned and rolled out of bed, her body protesting with each step.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jen. How is everything?"

"Oh, hey Dawson. Oh you know how it is, revisiting the angst of high school with the emotional recrimination and betrayal" Jen laughed as she thought of Jack leaving her to go off and live as 'one of the guys' with Pacey.

"Betrayal?" Dawson paused "Shit, you know Jen I had not meant for it to go that far with Audrey, I mean we both knew it was wrong but... we had been drinking and you know. One thing lead to another and... It's not the sort of thing i would do." Dawson let the sentence hang without finalisation. Jen stood, her mouth agape in shock. Suddenly she shook herself off in time to make it appear as though she knew what had happened. "We all make mistakes Dawson, I am really not one to judge given my sordid history and inexcusable actions in the past. I do know that avoiding every one is really not going to help."

"I know. I know Jen. Does Pacey know?"

"Seeing as you have not had an abusive phone call from Pacey I would say no Dawson, he doesn't know." Jen answered him softly. The line was silent for a time while Dawson gathered his thoughts.

"I guess that also means that Joey doesn't either."

Hoping to move onto lighter and decidedly more positive conversation Jen asked him the reason for the call. He had stated that he was in Capeside and was hoping to see everyone the following day. He was hesitant however. Jen argued that maybe it was time that he confessed to Pacey sooner rather than later and he had the opportunity to do so in person. Under duress Dawson agreed and said he would meet them all around noon at Grams' so they could all have lunch together.

After saying their goodbyes Jen stood frowning, knowing that a shift in their small and at times tenuous family unit was unequivocal and that the fallout was going to be catastrophic.


	3. Chapter 3

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 3

Friday had arrived without too many events, Joey sat in Grams' kitchen with Jen while they waited for Jack and Pacey to return from signing the lease at the realtors. Jen and Joey chatted about classes and Pacey and Jack's big move over the weekend. Jen decided to avoid the rift between Pacey and Audrey knowing they had broken up but no one had given her details around it. Jen had also kept silent about her conversation with Dawson, surmising that no one knew what had transpired between Audrey and Dawson.

"So who else is coming for lunch then?" Joey asked. Jen shrugged.

"You and me, I haven't had a chance to talk to Jack or Pacey yet. Seeing as they don't work today and they are boys with bottomless stomachs I am guessing lunch would be high on their list of priorities." Joey grinned at her as the phone rang. Jen excused herself to answer. Joey sat in silence, feeling Jen had seemed preoccupied from the moment she had arrived. A few moments later and Jen reentered the kitchen.

"Looks like lunch with Dawson is off. He can't make it." Jen said. Joey frowned.

"Seems odd considering he organised this." Jen nodded her expression showed something in it, a look as though she were hiding something. Joey knew her, there was something weighing on her mind.

"Jen, what's going on?" Jen frowned and hesitated before answering her. She picked her words carefully as she spoke.

"I know why Pacey and Audrey broke up." Joey's face fell at the realisation. She nodded.

"Audrey is taking it badly, I mean to be unfaithful to Pacey is one thing, one terrible, terrible thing Jen. But, but to be so careless and fall pregnant?" Joey shook her head in disbelief. Jen's eyes widened, her lips began speaking before she could stop herself.

"What! Dawson got Audrey pregnant?"

A crashing sound cut through as a bag of groceries fell to the floor. Pacey and Jack stood in the kitchen doorway in shock. The women could see the colour drain from Pacey's face as he stood in suspended animation. There were no words which could possibly be spoken to express the shock, anger and betrayal from any of the four who stood in the room. Jack moved first, he picked up the groceries that lay scattered across the floor.

"Pace, man. Err, you okay?" A stupid thing to ask, Jack knew it the instant he said it. Pacey rubbed his face in building anger, he turned and headed for the door. Jack hesitated before running after him. Jen and Joey remained in silence.

"Audrey's pregnant?" Jen asked, sitting herself down on the kitchen stool. Joey nodded.

"It's Dawson's?" Joey asked, starting to feel sick to her stomach. Jen nodded slowly. "Does he know Jen?" Jen shrugged. She thought about the conversation, she had not thought so. Nothing had come out of the conversation the day before to made her think that he did.

"I don't think so, I kind of found out accidentally. I guess he thought i knew -"

"Joey, get out here. You need to calm Pacey down" The urgency in Jack's voice caused the girls to jump up and head for the door.

Pacey flung himself in behind the wheel a moment later the roar of the engine was heard. Joey ripped open the door and threw herself in beside him. Pacey sat, his knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel in anger. "Joey. Get out" He spoke calmly, his jaw set.

Joey shook her head. "No Pacey, i am not leaving you."

"Get out of the car" he spoke again, beginning to lose control of his emotions. "Jo!" He looked to her, his eyes wild with rage. Joey could see through him, she could see the hurt and anger of Audrey's betrayal. Joey knew this man, this man who loved unconditionally and infinitely. She could see the pain in his eyes. Joey felt as though they had travelled back in time and were reliving junior year all over again where Pacey had been betrayed by another blonde. A low guttural growl escaped Pacey and he turned to Joey, his face had softened slightly.

"Potter. Please"

"What are you going to do Pacey. Where are you going to go?" She put her hand on his arm "Do you think that driving back home and storming through Gail's door is going to help. You going to drag Dawson out by the ear and start a fist fight?"

Pacey's face overcame with a new wave of anger, he sneered at the realisation.

"So Dawson's in Capeside?"

"Pacey..." The car lurched forward as Pacey put it in gear and left the kerb in haste, the tyres squealing leaving Jack and Jen behind in astonishment. Joey quickly grabbed the seat belt and buckled herself in. She was afraid of what was coming. Not afraid for herself or the journey but what would happen once they got there.

* * *

Jen and Jack stood watching as Pacey and Joey drove off down the street. Jen stood, her eyes wide. Jack let out a breath he had not realised he had been holding.

"Well" He turned to Jen "You hungry?" Jen looked at her friend in disbelief. He shrugged before crossing the road back toward Grams'.

"Well. Fine, but I get to pick the place Jack. I am not eating bird seed burgers Jack, not again."

"How was I supposed to know it was a vegan diner Jen. How?"

"I don't know Jack, maybe the giant plastic carrot on the roof Jack. Maybe the crowd that hung around with their hairy armpits and their oh so naturale scent of body odour and pretentious bullshit." Jack giggled at her. He shook his head.

"Jen, what do you have against vegans?"

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"No one likes vegans"

Jack laughed while they headed down the street on foot. They eventually slipped into silence as they walked, both lost in thought over the events which had unfolded earlier in the day. Jack spoke first.

"How did you find out about Dawson and Audrey?" He asked her. Jen frowned as she recounted the conversation between herself and Dawson. Maybe now Dawson would understand how easily it was to mistake the information someone had when a secret is let out. Jen thought back to junior year when she had unwittingly divulged information about Joey and Pacey to Dawson.

"Joey knew Jack. Before Pacey, she knew and said nothing."

"Hey Jen, now how do you know that? Even if she did know do you really think it was her place to say something to Pacey"

Jen stopped to look at Jack, her eyes unblinking and steely.

"Yes Jack. I do. We have been friends for a while, Joey and Pacey have been friends for even longer. Almost their entire lives. I really think she owed it to him to tell him."

Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and began walking again, he shook his head. Where had this come from and why was Jen so adamant over this?

"I just - I just think that if it had come from Joey then maybe it may not have hurt so much. She has always been able to reason with him, always able to get him to see sense you know?" Jack nodded slowly, taking in everything Jen was saying, not entirely convinced however. Jen walked, looking ahead at the shoppers bustled around in their lunch break wandering from store to store in hurried steps.

"So that's all there is then, no residual witch island feelings?" Jack raised an eyebrow at Jen. She laughed shaking her head.

"Jack! Of course not. I think of Pacey more as a brother than anything, the guy that will stick up for me. Purely platonic, like you and I" She smiled "It's just that Pacey has had so much heartbreak Jack, and the way it ended for he and Andie..." Jen's voice trailed off. Jack nodded his agreement, Jen was right. He wasn't truly convinced that even Joey could have softened the blow of this however. He hoped she would help him to see sense before he did something he regretted.

* * *

Pacey drove without a word, the rage that pulsated through his veins had not subsided at all since he drove away from the house in Boston. If anything he could feel it building with each mile closer to Capeside. He was aware of Joey in the passenger seat beside him, she was worried, he knew that. While he had no intention of pulling Joey into this situation he couldn't help but wonder how long she had known.

"How long did you know Jo?" He asked, his voice was low. Keeping his eyes on the road until she spoke.

"Not long Pacey. I'm sorry, I told Audrey so many times to tell you and she said that she would but..."

"And Dawson?" He asked as he glanced at her, trying to find proof in her face either way if she had known. Joey shook her head.

"I had no idea Pace, none."

Pacey nodded his head in acceptance. They passed _Welcome to Capeside _sign as Pacey headed towards the Potter Bed and Breakfast, intending on dropping Joey off at her sisters and heading over to see Dawson alone.

Joey's eyes narrowed when Pacey turned the engine off and got out of the car at the B&B. He stretched his arms from the drive and looked at Joey in surprise, she was staring at him from the other side of the car.

"What?" He smiled.

"What are you doing Pace?"

"What do you mean Jo?"

"I mean I expected you to race right over to have it out with Dawson."

Pacey smiled at her as they both walked inside. Before he could reply Bessie noticed them and hurried over, her arms outstretched to them.

"Wow what a surprise, i wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Last minute visit" Joey smiled and glancing at Pacey awkwardly. Bessie ushered them to the table to sit while she brewed fresh coffee. She asked about classes and Pacey's job at Equinox. They sat talking amongst themselves happily until Bessie unknowingly dropped the proverbial bomb.

"So Pacey, where's your busty blonde?" She asked him innocently. Pacey's features hardened. Joey could sense the building anger in him. He stood up without a word and walked outside, slamming the door behind him.

"Sorry Bess" Joey groaned

"What did i say?" Bessie looked towards the closed door perplexed. Joey shook her head, wondering where to start.

Pacey sat in his car for what seemed like hours, in truth it may have only been fifteen minutes, maybe less. He knew he could not let this slide, he had to confront Dawson. Pacey started the car up and reversed out and back onto the road. He was not going to be the usual Pacey, he was not going to act now and think later. He was going to have it out with him however. Pacey felt the anger returning to him.

* * *

Dawson heard the sound of the low rumbling of a car engine from the kitchen window. Once the engine turned off and a car door slammed he heard a familiar voice, a voice he new well, a voice he had heard since his childhood. Never in his life had he heard it sound so angry.

"Leery. You home?" Pacey yelled as he approached the porch, he pulled the door open. He paused before looking around him. "Gail and Lily?" He asked. Dawson shook his head to indicate that they were out. Pacey nodded.

"What's on your mind Pace?" Dawson asked nervously. His eyes darting around the room trying not to look at Pacey's. It took all of Pacey's strength not to grab Dawson by the throat and hit him. He was seething, he looked at Dawson and spoke between clenched teeth.

"Cut the crap" He sneered, taking a step forward "You know exactly what on my fucking mind." Dawson held up his hands while stepping back. The fire in his friends eyes was unmistakable. Dawson searched his mind trying to work out the words he could possibly say to calm Pacey down. Realising that there weren't any that could do that he said what first came to mind.

"Pacey, i'm sorry." A bitter laugh escaped Pacey as he shook his head at Dawson. The sound of the door crashing against the door frame sounded through the house, Joey appeared second later, she ran to position herself between the two men. Pacey shook his head at her.

"Joey get out of here, this is not your fight." Pacey said, his jaw set and his eyes unblinking as he continued to stare at Dawson.

"Stop this. This is not helping"

"Pacey, It just happened. I didn't mean to..." Dawson began.

"Didn't mean to what?" Pacey stepped closer, his voice sounding as though he were challenging him, daring him to say something, anything that would give him a reason to hit him. Dawson stood unable to say a word. "Come on Dawson, it's not like you to be lost for words. Where's that Dawson Leery monologue with the multi syllables and the sanctimonious trite you are always hell bent on ramming down people throats?" When Dawson didn't answer Pacey just shook his head "You know Dawson, you are no better than the rest of man. It was only a matter of time before you fell from grace, to live amongst us mere mortals." Pacey spat. Dawson sneered at Pacey feeling his own temper beginning to surface.

"Have you forgotten your own history of monumental fuck ups Pacey?" Dawson's eyes shifted to Joey who stood in silence. "Have you forgotten about how you and Joey betrayed me when you started your relationship with each other."

"Dawson" Joey warned him "This is not about me"

"No Joey. Maybe it is. Maybe Dawson slept with Audrey to get back at me." Pacey looked at Dawson "So, is that it?"

Dawson shook his head, trying to look convincing enough so it wasn't the case. Pacey through his hands up in desperation, realising that they were never going to get past it. They were in an endless moment in time, forced to keep replaying things over and over.

"This is hardly the same Dawson."

"I don't see any difference Pacey"

"You don't love her! That's the difference here. I love Joey, i -" Joey looked at Pacey in shock. He hesitated before correcting his wording "I _loved_ Joey. But you? You don't have any of those feelings for Audrey"

Dawson rolled his eyes and scoffed, he let out a laugh of disbelief.

"Come on Pacey, you and I both know you are they guy that fucks first and thinks later. That's you Pacey, that's who you are and who you always will be."

Pacey stood his hands balled into fists by his side, rage pulsated through every inch of his body.

"That is not who I am Leery, I know exactly what I am doing when I am doing it. You however are not _that_ person though are you, to take responsibility for things"

"What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean, you and Joey-" Dawson started, still with his mind firmly in the past. The ultimate betrayal still heavy in his mind.

"Me and Joey? " Pacey's voice became louder as he yelled "I never got her pregnant!"

Joey's hand covered her mouth as she tried to stifle a gasp that escape her mouth. Dawson stood in stunned silence, watching Pacey as he breathed heavily, not taking his eyes off of Dawson's.

He shook his head in disbelief and then looked at Joey waiting for her to confirm Pacey's outburst. She simply nodded, unable to look at him.

"She, she's pregnant?"

"Yes Leery, she is." Pacey laughed as Dawson's face fell "Congratulations Casanova, you sure showed me eh?" Pacey turned and walked to the door, he was exhausted. He'd had enough. Pacey could not bare to look at Dawson for another moment.

He was done.

Pacey got back into his car and breathed heavily. Strangely enough he felt better, he sincerely hoped Dawson didn't. The passenger door slammed beside him. Pacey looked over startled. Joey smiled weakly at him.

"You ok Pace?" He simply shrugged by way of reply. Not entirely sure how he felt. He started the car and drove back towards the B&B.

When they pulled up at the house moments later Bessie was in the yard brushing dirt from Alexander's clothes as she prepared to bring him back inside. The sun was preparing it's final descent. Joey had not realised how much time had gone by. Bessie waved to them as they exited the car.

"You two staying for dinner before you head back?" Joey looked at Pacey who returned her gaze with a grin.

"I could eat, how 'bout you Potter?"

Dawson sat in the darkness of his room, holding his phone in his hand. He replayed that afternoons encounter over and over in his head. Was Pacey right? Did he sleep with Audrey just to get back at him for what had happened in high school?

Dawson shook his head, no. It couldn't be, he was not _that _guy. He was not like that. Dawson continued to sit, analysing everything. Maybe he was, maybe he was no better than everybody else. Looking out for only his own needs and to hell with everyone else. Maybe the events from the last few years had turned him into a bitter and spiteful person.

He knew that he didn't really care for Audrey. Pacey had certainly been right about that, but Pacey had. Pacey loved Audrey. Pacey had also truly loved Joey as well and judging by his slip up in the kitchen earlier Dawson knew that Pacey still did. The truth dawned on Dawson in that moment, clarity finally making itself known to him.

Pacey had loved Joey and that was all that had mattered to him, despite the heartache it had caused Dawson. Dawson had not cared for Audrey when he slept with her and still didn't even now. So, with those two truths, Dawson mused. Did that make Dawson the lesser man of the two?


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: My layout skills are lacking. Would love it if you could R&R - editing chapters will get some more up soon. Not sure if this will be turned into a trilogy or not._

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 4

Saturday afternoon was over cast and threatened an impeding storm on the horizon. Pacey set down the last of the boxes as Joey, Jack and Jen slumped to the worn couch sitting in the centre of the living room. Joey groaned, sitting up and looking around her at the boxes. Certain Jack and Pacey's belongings had mostly definitely multiplied.

"You know boys, if you had simply written on the boxes with the room they belonged to we could have organised this a little better." Joey mused "Now it's just an array of things in boxes that are taking up the living area. You won't be able to set anything up in here until _that_ is organised and put away." Joey gestured to the mountain of clutter they had finished moving into Jack and Pacey's new apartment. Pacey stood up and groaned, taking a look at Joey and smirking.

"You know Jo, you have an unbelievable talent for fun." He commented sarcastically. Joey grinned.

"Well, you know me Pace. I am _all_ about the fun." She stuck her tongue out playfully. Jack jumped up and wrestled Jen's petite frame to her feet. He held his hands out to Pacey.

"There's still another box, plus a couple of pizzas that have our names on them." Pacey handed the keys to his car over and watched as Jack and Jen left. Pacey sighed and bent down to open a box, after rummaging through it lightly he picked it up and turned to walk down the hall. Joey followed his cue and opened a couple of boxes until she found a large one filled with loud hawaiian shirts. She picked it up, shaking her head and grinning as she followed Pacey. Joey opened up one of the built in closets, noting the empty clothing hangers. She began pulling shirts out and placing them in the closet, Pacey had ducked out of the room and returned with his tool box to set his bed up. Joey stopped as she bent down to pick up Pacey's worn, tan corduroy jacket. She snorted in surprise.

"I can't believe you still have this Pace!" She exclaimed, holding up his jacket in disgust. Pacey laughed and took the jacket from her, noting her expression of disdain he looked at her with mock expression of hurt.

"I'll have you know Potter, this is a great jacket. Has a lot of sentimental value." She laughed at him and turned to pull another shirt from the box to hang.

"I am sure it does Pacey." He smiled at her turning the jacket over in his hands and checking it for signs of damage.

"You know I don't think I have worn it since the winter we were..." His voice trailed off to give a regretful smile at Joey, she smiled back with the same look of remorse. Pacey started checking the pockets of the jacket. He felt his hand close over something smooth and cylindrical. His brow furrowed in curiosity as he pulled the peculiar object from the depths of his jacket pocket. At the sight of it his heart skipped a few beats and he felt it breaking all over again. He must not have hidden his feelings well as Joey gazed at him in concern.

"Pace, you ok?" She asked him as she stepped closer. Pacey quickly attempted to regain his usually good natured countenance and turned to look at Joey. He held up the object. Joey's eyes widened as he handed it to her.

"Very Berry if I remember correctly, right Jo?" He smiled, tossing the jacket back onto the box of clothes. Joey nodded solemnly as she looked down at the lipstick in her hand. Pacey turned his attention back to the reconstruction of his bed.

They both worked quietly as Joey helped Pacey build his bed. They went back to their usual good natured banter while Joey made his bed. Pacey argued he could do it himself and Joey cut him down with his inability to do anything even slightly resembling domesticity.

"I can cook though Joey and that is very important." He retorted, Joey nodded in agreement. "And...there's nothing sexier than a man who can cook for his lady" Pacey moved close to Joey, his voice low and almost a whisper. Joey laughed nervously and slapped his chest with the back of her hand playfully.

"Well Witter, that's if you've got a lady to impress." Joey immediately realised what she said, her hand flew to her mouth. "Er Pacey i'm sorry, I - I didn't think." Pacey shook his head and stepped back, he sat himself on his newly made bed. Joey sat her herself next to him, "You ok" she asked him tentatively. He nodded, looking down at the floor before turning to her.

"Yeah Jo. I'm fine. "

"You don't have to hide it. I know you must be angry. I'm angry and this isn't about me at all" Pacey sat staring into Joey's deep brown eyes, they sparkled in the lights of the city as darkness descended over them. She truly was a remarkable woman.

"Maybe that's the whole problem here Joey. Maybe this _is_ about you" Joey leant back in surprise at Pacey's words, confused and curious at what he had said.

"What are you talking about?"

Pacey bit down on his lower lip and took in a deep breath. He stared out of the window for a few moments before he spoke. Joey sat waiting for him to explain what he had just said, having no idea what he was going to say. She knew this couldn't be about their past with Dawson, or could it? Finally Pacey's voice cut through the silence.

"You are right Joey, I am angry. I am really angry but it's not Dawson, not even Audrey I am angry with. I am angry with myself and my own betrayal. The worst betrayal of all Jo." He looked at Joey with sadness in his eyes. Joey shook her head in disbelief not quite understanding Pacey.

"What? It was Audrey and Dawson who betrayed _you_ Pace." He nodded at her, yes they had. He wasn't denying it. But he had betrayed Audrey all the same and in the worst possible way imaginable.

"Yeah I know."

"okay what is this all about then?"

"You Joey." He replied, Joey opened her mouth to say something, stopping when Pacey held a hand up to continue. "What i said to Dawson the other night when I said that I loved you was true and not in the past tense Joey. I have never, ever stopped loving you. Sailing away to the Caribbean may have helped to dull those feelings inside for a time but they are still there Jo. I still love you and that is how I betrayed Audrey. Being with someone without truly giving oneself to them?" He sighed "That is not fair on anyone, especially Audrey. How could i have ever thought that she and I could have a committed relationship when I..." Pacey looked to Joey, his face softened as he looked into her eyes again "When I am still so utterly and completely in love with you?"

Joey's breath hitched in her throat at what he had said. Her mind whirring with emotions she had tried to keep in check since they had ended it back in high school. She found herself losing control of them now. Joey didn't pull away when Pacey leant in close to her and rest his hand delicately on her cheek, tracing her jaw with his thumb. She could feel her heart beating louder at his touch, struggling over the deafening roar of electricity which surged though her body. She drifted towards Pacey, her lips so close she could almost taste his.

"Are you kidding me Jen? He had crazy psycho practically tattooed on his forehead." The sound of Jack's voice travelled up the hall, Joey jumped up in alarm. Her eyes darting to Pacey's doorway nervously with the hint of shame. Pacey groaned, cursing Jack and Jen for their impeccable timing.

"Hey there you two are." Jen smiled, leaning her shoulder against the doorframe. She looked around the room in surprise. "Seems you've been busy" Joey looked at her in surprise, flushing with embarrassment.

"Huh, what?No. We were just. We were just." Joey stammered. Pacey grinned behind his hand. Jen looked at Joey with confusion .

"Unpacking Pacey's room?" She smirked wondering what she might have missed. Joey relaxed and nodded.

"Well you know Pacey, always dragging his feet. What I don't understand is how Pacey managed to score the room with the bathroom." Joey asked walking through the doorway into the small shower room with a toilet and basin. Pacey laughed, Jack gave him a look of warning.

"Oh come on. Really Jack, still?" Jen giggled.

"What?" Joey poked her head out of the bathroom, noting Jen and Pacey trying to stifle there laughter. Jack groaned.

"The pizzas getting cold. I have beer Pacey so ..." Pacey threw his hands up, taking the hint and following Jack into the kitchen. Joey gave Jen and questioning look. Jen smiled and grabbed Joey's arm, she quickly glanced down the hall to be certain they could not hear her.

"The toilet. Jack has this thing about sleeping so close to a toilet. As a kid he had nightmares that a slimy monster was going to jump out and eat him while he slept." Jen smirked. Joey giggled and quickly put her hands over her mouth, chortling in silence.

Jack and Pacey had gone as far as to set up the entertainment side of things and swung the couch to face the television, beyond that nothing had eventuated. They sat around eating the last of the pizzas and drinking beers while packed boxes sat where they had first been placed. Jack got up to put a movie on, figuring they were all too tired to go out after the day of moving.

"So what are we watching Jackers?" Pacey asked laying back into the couch and rested his beer on the arm. Jack grinned.

"It's a horror flick about a stalker"

"Way to go man. Best decision to get a movie that will really help the girls move about the city on there own. Especially seeing as Joey didn't have the greatest encounter herself when up against the criminal element of this city." Pacey raised a brow. Jack frowned, suddenly seeing Pacey's point, he turned to change the movie.

"It's fine, I am kinda in the mood for a horror" Jen beamed. Joey shook her head. Pacey looked at her and smirked knowingly.

"No surprises there Potter." Joey slapped his arm playfully.

"I have gotten a lot better Pacey." She stuck her head up in defiance, Pacey chuckled and rolled his eyes at her blatant lie. Jack rubbed his hands together after pressing play. He quickly ran to switch the light off. Joey cringed nervously as the apartment became washed in darkness momentarily before the movie came to life. Jack joined Jen on the floor. Jen had laid a thick rug down in front of the couch to lay down to watch the movie. Joey sat on the couch next to Pacey.

Joey sat watching, holding her knees up close to her chest. She inched closer to Pacey with each scene, silently screaming at the girl on the screen as she carefully stepped outside to investigate a noise. Joey knew what was going to happen, there was a formula to these movies. Knowing the inevitable didn't help Joey when the man jumped out from behind the car to grab the woman. Joey gasped, lunged in her seat towards Pacey, she grabbed his arm tightly. Pacey smirked at the wide eyed girl clutching his arm. Instinctively he lifted his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, he could feel her body move in closer to his and relax against him. Pacey pulled her closer, drinking in the scent of her hair as she put her head on his shoulder.

Jack jumped up to flick the light on once the closing credits rolled across the screen, everyone sat up yawning and stretching their bodies. Pacey stood up, looking around him. The hour was late and everyone appeared tired from the days physical strain. Jen stood up and pulled the blanket she had around her.

"What's happening girls, are you staying or do you want a ride home?" Pacey asked help Joey to her feet. Jen was already on her way towards Jack's room.

"I figured that it's late so we might as well just crash here the night." Jen replied. Jack shrugged and followed Jen to his bedroom. "Oh and Jack. If you get frisky during the night don't wake _me_ up"

Pacey laughed shaking his head. He turned to Joey.

"You want the bed and I take the couch?" He asked moving to pull out spare blankets from a box. Joey shook her head.

"I can sleep on the couch Pace, i am not going to kick you out of your bed. Besides you're too tall to fit comfortably on the couch." Pacey grinned. He handed Joey the linen and disappeared into his room, reemerging with a pair of his boxers and a shirt for her to change into. Joey smiled thanking him. He said goodnight and went to bed.

Pacey roused from sleep with an urgent hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes groggily. It was still dark so Pacey had no idea of the time.

"Pace?" Joey whispered, leaning over him. It took Pacey a few moments to realise who was standing over him, he rubbed his eyes.

"Jo?"

"Can...can I sleep in here?" She asked timidly. Pacey grinned sleepily, he shuffled over and pulled the covers back. Joey scampered in hastily. Pacey couldn't help but chuckle as Joey burrowed into his chest. Pacey moved to sit up. "Pace?" she questioned him while he fumbled in the dark.

"Yeah?"

"Where are you going?"

"Um to put a shirt on Jo, I should put a shirt..." Joey reached over and placed her hand on his bare chest guiding him back down towards the bed next to her.

"I don't mind Pace" She whispered "I think that I can resist any sexual urges." She smiled at him with amusement. Pacey cleared his throat nervously. He laid down on his side facing her. Taking a deep breath.

"It's not really you I was worried about Jo..." Joey averted her eyes, embarrassed. Thankful for to darkness hid her flushed cheeks. "Jo. I hope that I didn't make you er...feel uncomfortable for saying what I said earlier. I mean we've been getting along really well lately I wouldn't want to ruin that by...by bringing up the past and old feelings." Joey shook her head. she felt safe in Pacey's arm, like she always did, a comfort she hadn't felt since she was last in his embrace in high school.

"Did you mean it?"

"Every word, Potter"

They lay awake in silence, facing each other. Joey slipped her arm around Pacey's waist and pulled herself closer into him. The familiar scent of him opened her sense and reminded her of how much she had loved him, of how much she still loved him. Pacey closed his eyes and caressed the small of Joeys back and allowed his fingers to move up her sides noting her moan with familiarity beneath his touch. He wanted to kiss her more than anything, to feel the softness of her lips against his again. He wanted to go back to a place where everything was perfect once more. Pacey laughed softly to him self as he listened to the slow and rhythmic breathing of a woman sleeping. He leant forward and softly kissed her forehead before closing his eyes and succumbing to sleep.

Joey woke later that morning wrapped up in Pacey's arms, her back pressed up closely to his chest. She could feel his heart beating, it echoed throughout her body. Joey smiled feeling the safest she had felt in a long time. Knowing she hadn't felt this way since the last time she were entwined with Pacey when they were together. Joey felt Pacey shift, she closed her eyes. Joey heard him yawning, a moment later she felt the soft touch of his fingers as he caressed her arm. It took all of her will not to moan in pleasure beneath his touch. He leant forward and kissed her shoulder softly before whispering in her ear

"I love you Joey."

She wrestled with the notion of allowing him to know she was awake, knowing she had missed her opportunity as she felt his body rise. Pacey through on sweats and a shirt, he left the room silently closing the door behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N : Please R&R, means a lot to know that people a reading! I will try to update with more chapters as I finish editing._

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 5

It was mid morning when Dawson finally worked up the courage to call. He was back in L.A working on set of Todd Carr's new B- grade horror film. Dawson felt any grade above it appeared unimaginable and a tentative B was an overstatement. Dawson excused himself knowing Todd would not notice his absence during his current temper tantrum, involving not only the crew and cast but also the fast food delivery guy as well. Dawson snickered as he found a place in private. Taking a deep breath he dialled Audrey's number. He had no idea what the conversation was going to entail or how to even start it.

"Hello?" Audrey's voice sounded less than it's usual enthusiasm. Dawson cleared his throat for the umpteenth time. It was now or never.

"Hey Audrey, it's Dawson" Fully aware the woman on the other end did not sound too pleased to hear his voice. Dawson hesitated before continuing. "Audrey why didn't you tell me. Why did I have to find out from Pacey that you were pregnant, that the baby was mine Audrey?" A sharp intake of breath from Audrey told Dawson she was angry.

"What, Pacey knows about us?"

"And Joey, seems a lot of people know about us, and the baby. Before I did " Dawson sneered feeling his own anger begin to rise. Audrey was pregnant with his child and all she cared about was Pacey? They didn't do anything neither one of them hadn't wanted to do.

"Dawson, I am not having this baby so there's nothing to talk about. I just want to forget this ever happened. I have an appointment at the clinic in a few days so after that I can go back to my old life before you and I every made the mistake."

"Get over here now Leery!" Todd bellowed from within the studio. Dawson groaned in response to the arrogant directors request.

"Audrey ..."

"Goodbye Dawson" There was a click and the line died. Dawson was left to stand alone with his thoughts and feelings over their brief conversation, he had no idea what to do or how he felt. Unable to dwell any longer as he spun around to follow the yelling of his boss as he waited impatiently for his assistant to return.

Pacey parked close to Joey's dorm building on the Worthington's grounds. The college was quiet being a Sunday with most students away for the weekend or in the city. Pacey turned to Joey as she opened her door to get out.

"So, lunch with Jackers and Lindley eh?" Pacey smiled. Joey nodded, allowing her lopsided smile to creep across her face. "Well no doubt I will see you there Potter, to which I need to get going or I will be late for work." Joey grinned, her hand resting on the passenger side door, she started to close it and then hesitated.

"Pace. Despite the current circumstances, I had fun last night, felt like old times hanging out in Capeside." Pacey grinned, noddy his agreement. A frown flickered across his face for the briefest of moments.

"Yeah Jo, it was a good night. Old times especially with you and your 'scaredy cat' disposition during the night." Joey retorted by way of poking her tongue out at him and slamming his car door. Pacey chuckled, watching her make her way onto the grounds of Worthington. He put the car in reverse catching sight of Joey looking back over her shoulder and waving, a broad smile across her face. Pacey drove to work, thoughts of the night before played through his mind. He wondered what might have happened if Jack and Jen had not returned. Would anything have happened between them?

Pacey tried to focus on getting to work on time and pushing all thoughts of Joey and the night before to the back of his mind. If something were to happen between them it would have, wouldn't it? Pacey knew he was thinking too much into it all. Joey did not have the same feelings, at least not anymore. Even if she did, there was too much bad history between them, too many mistakes. 

Preparations were done, ready for the lunch time rush. Pacey took a break before he knew the crowds of socialites and pompous business men sat down for meetings and private rendezvous. Pacey sat at a table close to the bar with a bottle of water, a few diners had begun to enter. He noticed a guy standing around looking lost, he seemed to be searching for something or someone. Pacey stood up and walked over to him.

"Hey, you need something?"

The man smiled with relief.

"I was looking for someone, my girlfriend sent me in here while she looked for a place to park" He started to explain "Ah Jack. I was looking for Jack McPhee, he works here right?" The man looked at Pacey hopefully.

"Yes, he does but he's not working today however." The man frowned "He is meeting some of our friends here soon for lunch if you want to hang around with your girlfriend."

"Thank you, I guess we will"

"How do you know Jack?" Pacey asked him taking a drink from his bottle of water. Somewhere in the front they could here the squealing of a group of women hugging each other happily.

"He's my girlfriends brother, i've never met him though"

"Oh, really. Your girlfriend is - McPhee!" Pacey exclaimed excitedly as Andie caught his eye. Pacey was almost knocked on his ass by the perky blonde as she threw her arms around him. Pacey grabbed her around the waist and spun her around in a warm embrace, he kissed her affectionately on the cheek before setting her down.

"When did you get back Andie?" He asked.

"About a week ago" She smiled, beaming as she bounced on her heals. "Oh, this is Evan." Pacey held his hand out to the guy he'd been speaking to. "Evan, this is Pacey." The smile on Evan's face faded quickly at the mention of Pacey's name. He shook his hand trying to recover from the surprise of his girlfriend being so chummy with her ex-boyfriend; the love of her life. He smiled weakly, shaking Pacey's hand.

"Well Evan it was great to meet you, Andie we'll have to catch up very soon. I gotta get back there" He motioned towards the kitchen, noting the dining room filling. Andie nodded.

"Well we were going to Jacks tonight, will you be coming over?" She raised her eyebrows hopefully. Pacey grinned and nodded.

"Well Mcphee, I certainly hope so seeing as we're room mates"

"Oh, yeah right." She giggled "Silly me"

Pacey laughed, shaking his head and returned to the kitchen. 

Audrey was rummaging through her closet when Joey walked in. She stopped to glare at her room mate infuriated.

"Audrey, hey. How are you?" Joey asked, it had been a couple of days since she had spoken to Audrey, she was either out or in bed whenever Joey was in the room. Joey sensed the tension emanating from her friend, she opened her mouth to speak when Audrey held up her hand.

"Just save it Joey." She spat acidly "I know that you told Dawson about the baby. Pacey knows now. Pacey knows it's Dawson's. How could you Joey?" Audrey's eyes began to fill with tears. She stood scrutinizing her as she shifted awkwardly.

"Audrey, I didn't tell Dawson, I - He found out from Pacey, Pacey told him you were pregnant. We found out it was Dawson through Jen."

"Bullshit Joey, sweet little Joey has to always follow her moral compass and right every wrong in the world. Make sure her soul mate doesn't throw his life away over a one night stand. Pacey? I don't know about you and Pacey because you are no longer together but you don't seem to want to see him happy with anyone else either Joey."

"What? Where do you get off Audrey. I am trying to help you, to be here for you but you are the one pushing me away and avoiding me."

"I don't want you around Joey!" Audrey screamed at her "I hate you, you are so fucking perfect. You are the girl that every body loves and i am sick of having to live in your shadow of righteousness all the time. Get out Joey."

"You're kicking me out?" Joey asked incredulously. Audrey continued rummaging through her wardrobe not speaking. Joey frowned and pulled a bag from her closet, throwing a few necessary items into it. Audrey looked over at her.

"You can move back once i am gone, i have a flight home on friday. So until then Joey just - just stay the hell away from me." Joey closed her bag and turned to leave. "Joey, I have an appointment at the clinic. in a couple of days so don't worry, I'm not having your 'true love's' baby." She paused before adding, "Not that it matters either way though does it?"

"Not that what matters?" Joey asked.

"That I am going to the clinic." Joey looked at Audrey in confusion as she stood just outside the door. " Because it's not as if i am pregnant with your 'true love's' baby anyway" Audrey grabbed the door and slammed it in Joey's face.

Jen noticed Joey's face the moment she pulled up at Worthington in Grams' car. She had been crying. She stood waiting for them with an overnight bag clenched in her hand. Joey sat in the backseat, muttering a hello to Jen and Jack as she stared out the window, tears trickling down her cheeks.

Jen looked at her in the rearview mirror. "Joey, you ok?" She asked, Joey quickly wiped her face and managed a weak smile."Going somewhere?" Joey shrugged and looked down to her bag which sat beside her on the seat.

"Audrey, she kicked me out." She frowned, biting her lip to ward off the new rush of tears threatening to wash over her. Jen found a parking spot close to Equinox. They all got out of the car, Joey wiped her eyes again. Jack feeling uncomfortable motioned to the restaurant.

"I'll go get a table." Jen nodded before turning back to Joey.

"You want to talk about this Joey?" She asked her. Joey smiled at her friend. Thankful for Jen's friendship. She shook her head.

"Maybe later Jen, not right now." Jen nodded and they walked into Equinox together. The familiar sound of a bubbly larger than life laugh rang through the restaurant as Andie pulled Jen and Joey into n embrace.

"Oh wow! I have missed you so much!" She giggled. They hadn't seen Andie since she left for Italy again after high school graduation. It almost felt like old times. They hugged and giggled and listened to Andie's hyper ramblings before she caught sight of Pacey talking to Evan.

"Oh. I'll be back, there's someone i have missed so much" Andie grinned and bounded off. Jen and Jack chuckled as they found their seats. Joey stood motionless, her face fell as she saw Pacey lift Andie into a warm embrace and spun her around. Joey tore herself away to join Jack and Jen who were talking animatedly about a guy.

"Seriously Jen, are you insane?" Jack asked dubiously. "You know seeing they guy four times in as many days is...is-"

"Coincidence?"

"What? No, it's - it's stalking Jen. It's stalking. That's what the judicial system says and I agree wholeheartedly. He's psycho. I said as much last night to you."

"What's this?" Joey asked as she sat down.

"Jen here is convinced that her next romantic endeavour should include a psychotic stalker by the name of Vincent Thorn."

"Who's Vincent Thorn?"

Jack sighed in exasperation "The crazy stalker i was just talking about Joey, keep up!" Joey giggled nodding. She took a glance over her shoulder to see Pacey walking back into the kitchen.

The four old high school friends, along with Andie's boyfriend sat around eating and laughing. Talking about old school tales and new things that were happening in their lives. The subject of Audrey and Pacey was not broached. Andie noticed they also weren't saying too much about Dawson either. Eventually the group broke away after they all agreed to meet at Jack and Pacey's later that night. Joey, Jack and Jen left to help Jack tidy up the boxes to help make the apartment look lived in. 

Joey had begun to relax by the third drink, she sipped on her glass happily listening as Jen recapped her encounters with the attractive Vincent Thorn to Andie and Evan. Andie thought he sounded sweet, Evan however agreed with Jack and thought she would do best to steer clear of him. The fourth drink, Joey discovered, allowed her to let go of her inhibitions.

"Am I a bitch?" The group looked at her in stupefaction. "I mean Audrey seems to think that I made sure that Dawson knew about his baby before she had a chance to tell him. She thinks that I made sure Pacey knew that it was Dawson's so there was no chance of reconciliation between him and Audrey. So I don't think that's true...i mean if that were true then...well that would make me a really nasty and vindictive bitch wouldn't it?"

The group of friends sat, unsure of what to say. It was Jen who spoke.

"Joey, no one thinks that way. Audrey is just upset. She is going through a lot."

"I know, she is going through a lot and it's not - "

"Hold on, what happened?" Andie asked, feeling out of the group gossip loop. Joey took a sip of her drink, sat it down and crossed her legs with exaggerated movements.

"Well" She began " Audrey slept with Dawson, at some L.A party before she and Pacey came back to Boston, she was drunk and he was drunk. Audrey is now pregnant. She blames me for Pacey finding out that she slept with Dawson and that it's Dawson's baby." The door opened, Joey didn't notice as Pacey entered the apartment. "Which just kind of figures though doesn't it. I mean Pacey doesn't do well with blondes seeing as they both seem to think it's ok to sleep with another guy while they are dating him. I mean Audrey slept with my 'soul mate' and well you Andie, I mean you certainly lowered your standards and slept with a mental patient"

"Potter!" Pacey seethed from the kitchen. Andie sat her mouth agape in horror, tears welled in her eyes at Joeys diatribe. Evan put his hand on her knee to comfort her. Jack and Jen sat uncomfortably, unsure of where to look or if to say anything.

Joey spun around to look at Pacey who stood with his arms folded across his chest, his entire body succumbing to anger. She slowly and unsteadily got to her feet and walked over to Pacey.

"Jo, what's gotten into you?" He asked, his voice low. Trying to remain as calm as he could. Joey's lip curled up in a sneer.

"Nothing Pacey, nothing has gotten into me at all. I am just speaking the truth. Am I wrong Pacey? I mean both Andie and Audrey cheated on you, not me Pace. Not me. It was what they did to you which ended your relationship with them. But me?" Tears filled her eyes, she sniffed. Pacey moved forward to put his hand on her shoulder. Joey pushed it away angrily

" But me? I was always faithful to you Pace, always and I loved you. I loved you so much and you shattered my heart into a million pieces because I deserved better. Am I the only one who deserved better Pacey?"

"Joey, calm down. You're drunk."

"Stop it!" She yelled "But Andie and Audrey. The waitress and that blonde trust fund bitch. What about them, didn't they deserve better, is that why they had you and I didn't?" Joey closed her eyes as tears streamed down her face. Pacey didn't move to comfort her, he stood not knowing what to do. She finally looked up to him, her eyes glassy and sad. "I am sorry for what Audrey did to you Pacey, I really am. It's wrong to be with someone you don't love Pace, especially when the person you truly love is right there loving you back." Jen stood up and moved over to put her arms around Joey, she guided her out of the living room. Pacey motioned to her to take Joey to lie down in his room. She nodded, thankful Joey complied. They could hear Jen whispering to her as they disappeared down the hall.

Pacey exhaled deeply and went to the fridge for a drink, he then leaned against the kitchen island, opened his beer and looked over to Andie with a smirk.

"So Mcphee...What's new with you?" 

An hour had passed before Jen reemerged. Andie was back to her chirpy self in deep conversation with Jack, Evan walked over to Pacey who stood peering out of the window at the street below.

"I had heard stories from Andie about your high school escapades and I must say i really don't think she prepared me enough." He grinned handing Pacey a fresh beer. Pacey laughed, nodding his head.

"Run Evan, while you still can" He grinned "We certainly never seem to have a dull moment around here let me assure you."

Jen made her way across the room to where Evan and Pacey stood. She smiled warmly at them.

"Pace?" She glanced at Evan. "Um, can we talk?" Even smiled back, excused himself to join Andie and Jack. Pacey took a swig from his bottle.

"What's on your mind Lindley?" He asked turning back towards the window.

"You know Audrey kicked Joey out today."

"She did?" Jen nodded. They stood watching the city move about outside. Jen glanced at Pacey, he stood his eyes unblinking, focusing on the city skyline beyond.

"Audrey has an appointment at the clinic in a couple of days." Pacey just nodded, no longer his concern. Audrey was no longer his concern. "Joey was right though Pace." She continued. Pacey looked down at Jen, a confused look crossed his face.

"Yeah, about what?" He asked her.

"It's not right to be with someone, to pretend with someone when you are in love with someone else." Pacey frowned. He nodded in agreement.

"Yeah but what can you do, Audrey made her decision."

"Pace. You and I both know she wasn't talking about Audrey. I'm not stupid Pacey."

"No Lindley, you certainly are not." Pacey smiled "It doesn't matter Jen. I don't do so well with unrequited love and all that."

Jen laughed "I don't know if you heard what i heard Pacey."

"I heard it Jen, what Joey said implied that..."

"It's requited Pacey."

Pacey put his arm around Jen's shoulders and pulled her into him. He kissed her softly on the top of her head and sighed. They stood together at the window, looking out over Boston as people went about their lives.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: I am currently working through chapter 13 … with some writers block please R&R to spur me on!_

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 6

It was still dark when Joey woke, she sat up taking a few moments to fully realise where she was, she groaned as throbbing pain pulsated through her head. She looked around her, the room lit by a soft glow from the city lights. She was in Pacey's bed, she felt around her and felt a warm body beside her, Pacey. Joey stood up to use the bathroom. Joey flicked the switch on, standing in front of the bathroom mirror she regarded her reflection in the hard fluorescent light. She groaned and washed her face with cold water. Her thoughts went back to earlier that evening, she recounted everything she said that night. Then she remembered. Joey closed her eyes as the recollection dawned on her. What had she done? She had been so nasty to Andie, she was her friend and she had been horrible to her. Joey frowned. She would need to talk to Andie and apologise, she hoped she would forgive her. What about Pacey, the things she had said to Pacey were inexcusable. He was probably never going to speak to her again, who would blame him? She sure wouldn't. Pacey's voice came through the silence.

"Jo, you ok?"

Joey switched the light off and made her way back to the bed, she sat down, her back to Pacey. She leant down with her head in her hands. She felt the weight in the bed shift and Pacey was now sitting beside her. Pacey put his arm around her shoulders. She leant into him and rested her head against his chest. She breathed in his familiar scent, it brought tears to her eyes.

"Pacey. I am so sorry for what I said. I was so wrong to - "

"Ssh, it's ok Jo. You don't have to say anything." Joey nodded not saying a word, she slipped her arms around his waist never wanting to let him go. Pacey hesitated before pulling away and standing. He sighed before exiting the room. Joey looked after him as he disappeared into the darkness of the hall.

Light flood the kitchen as Pacey flicked the switch on and moved about to brew fresh coffee. Joey had made her way out of his bedroom, she tip toed about not wanting to make a commotion. Joey sat on the kitchen stool watching Pacey silently as he moved with swift and confident movements. Undertaking a task he did habitually no thought was necessary. Joey chewed on her bottom lip unsure how to start the conversation both of them knew needed to occur. She stood watching Pacey as he drew two mugs from the cabinet.

"Pace, about earlier...I am sorry I dredged all of that up. It was out of line and certainly not my place." She watched as Pacey sighed, his shoulders slumped slightly as he leant on the bench, his back to her. Joey wondered what he was thinking, did he hate her for what she had said? He simply shook his head and continued the task of making coffees. "Can't you just talk to me Pacey?" Her tone was marred by uncertainty, she moved from her stool and around the kitchen island to lean her back against it, waiting, pleading silently for Pacey to turn around. He took a breath and obliged, unsure himself.

"It always comes down to this Jo." He spoke finally, biting down briefly on his lower lip before he continued. "Us. We seem completely incapable of being able to step away from our histories." Joey frowned as Pacey handed her a steaming cup. Pacey was starting to appear as though he were slipping back into his self-deprecating thoughts, much like their senior year of high school.

"I think a lot has changed Pacey that has nothing to do with history." She supplied. Pacey simply shook his head in disagreement.

"Not really Joey because It always seems to come back to it. Dawson and I had begun to get back some of that friendship that was irrevocably damaged that spring. I mean it wasn't like it was but...it was a start and now this. It just feels that we have gone back in time and all of that pain and insecurities and recrimination is just back again. Because when that happens it's always got to do with Dawson"

Joey stood, his words mulling over in her mind. He was right, it always brought out doubts and insecurities with her and Pacey especially when Dawson became involved somehow.

"Do you think that you and Audrey would still be together if she hadn't slept with him?"

Pacey winced at her words before taking a sip from his cup. "No idea Jo. Maybe, maybe not I just don't really know."

"It seems unfair to be with someone you don't truly love though Pacey, you are the one that said that to me." He nodded, concurring. Pacey set his cup down beside him, looking away briefly before returning to look at Joey with an intensity in his ocean coloured eyes. "So why then Pacey?"

Pacey's eyes narrowed briefly, mostly in disbelief. Was Joey this blind to the reasons for his actions? she could not possibly be that daft.

"Really Joey?" Her only response was a slight lifted of an eyebrow. " Because it's easier Jo, because being with someone that I don't truly care about is just easier. With all of the women since you." Joey opened her mouth to speak, knowing it was going to be something nasty because she was not one to approve of his lifestyle choices since they had ended things. Pacey held a finger up to quash the disdainful extravaganza of moralistic ideals she would certainly throw at him. At four in the morning; certainly something he could just as soon skip. "Don't go getting judgemental Jo. There were still feelings involved just not the same invested as there were with..." His voice trailed off. Joey understood what he was not saying.

"Don't you want to feel that with someone?"

"Of course i do Jo. But that's the problem here. I can't, I get into something with the misguided notion that it could be great and wonderful but then the realisation creeps it's way in." He stood and moved closer to Joey.

"What realisation?" Joey was not entirely sure she understood exactly what Pacey was saying. Pacey stood, sipping at his coffee. His eyes fixed on hers, she searched them for an answer while she waited him to reply, hoping to find it before he spoke. Pacey moved closer to her and placed his cup on the bench beside her, his hands moving to rest on the island either side of her. Joey could feel the warmth of his body as he leant in, his face inches from hers.

"The realisation that I could be with a hundred women over a hundred years and I would never, ever love them the way that I love you. That as much as I try Joey, there is no one else that could ever take your place as the very centre of my universe."

Joey could feel her eyes sting with her tears. Pacey stood, leaning into her, his gaze fixed on hers. There was a softness to his expression now. Joey could feel the energy between them, something which had always been there. When they were younger it was always mistaken for overwhelming hatred and rage for one another, now she knew differently. Dawson may be the one to throw soul mates around when he considered himself and her, maybe he was right. But Pacey? What was between them was different, not the platonic love she felt for Dawson. What they had was intense, a love so real and unbridled sometimes it scared her. To have a love for a man so strong she found it hard to breathe.

Pacey moved in, his lips brushing hers softly, barely touching. Joey could feel the beating of her heart hasten as he put an arm around her waist and pulled her into him. Joey held one hand against the warmth of his chest beneath his grey sleeveless shirt. She could feel the beating of his heart mirroring her own, beating in unison. He kissed her softly, tentatively waiting for her permission. Joey moved her hands up to wrap around the back of his neck. Pacey moved his other hand up to cradle the back of her head, gripping her hair as her pulled her closer into him, kissing her with a hunger he had not experienced with her since senior year, the intensity between them was still as strong as it was when they had been together, maybe even more so now. Joey moaned as she kissed him back, the taste of him was a familiarity she had been yearning for, to feel his mouth against hers, his arms around her in his embrace that brought with it safety and desire.

Pacey's hand moved beneath her shirt, caressing the smoothness of her skin beneath. He had never forgotten how soft her skin was or how her breath hitched in her throat as he touched her, light strokes on the small of her back. He smiled against her mouth knowing he could still affect her. Joey could feel the muscles in Pacey's back and shoulders, his body was still the same from what she remembered but with slight differences. More defined, less like the teenager and more of the man. A lot of physical work as a deck hand and also in the kitchen had certainly helped to define the muscles in his body. Joey smiled at this discovery, a pleasant discovery. Pacey had never been scrawny by any means. They moved with each other, reacquainting themselves.

The sound of shuffling feet; Jen stood at the edge of the kitchen light, rubbing her eyes from sleep. She stood looking at them, a small smirk playing across her face.

"Err, sorry guys" She apologised, quickly filled a glass of water and hastily retreated back to Jack's room. Pacey and Joey watched as Jen disappeared into the darkness. Pacey let out a laugh of disbelief and pulled away from Joey, he picked his cup up and rinsed it in the sink.

"That's all we have ever been Joey" He stated, sitting his cup in the drying rack.

"What?" She asked him, moving next to him to rinse her cup in turn. She glanced up at him, he let out another laugh and shook his head. He leaned closer to her

"A multitude of ill timed moments."

Joey watched Pacey as he left her standing in the kitchen in solitude. She stood, unsure if following Pacey were the best recourse. Filled with uncertainly Joey moved to sit on the couch, her head in her hands, unsure what the next step was going to be.

Jack sat at the kitchen bench with the usual array of cereals laid out before him. Pacey emerged, showered and ready for another days work. He looked around him, noting the absence of female bodies in the apartment.

"Where are the girls?" He inquired pouring himself the first coffee for the day. Jack looked up from his bowl.

"Jen drove Joey back to pick up some of her things."

"So Audrey was serious about kicking Joey out?" It came over as more of a statement then a question. Jack nodded. An expression of curiosity crossed Jacks face as he segued into the topic of Joey. He cleared his throat, Pacey looked over to him from his cup suspiciously.

"So, bit crazy last night eh?"

"Yes, Joey obviously had a lot on her mind" Jack looked at Pacey, a hint of a smile curling the side of his mouth.

"That's not exactly what I meant" He spoke wryly. Pacey smiled. He pulled up a stool opposite Jack, setting his cup down. Aware of the eyes on him as he did.

"Lindley sold us out" He chuckled, Jack nodded taking a mouthful of breakfast. Certainly something Jack was not surprised at, he had always stipulated Joey and Pacey would find each other again. Maybe they hadn't completely now but It appeared to be a step up from them denying their feelings for each other which Jack knew to be the case. Jack watched Pacey taking sips of his coffee, a thoughtful expression playing across his face.

"What now Pace?" He questioned his friend. Pacey's initial response was a raised eyebrow, he shrugged before finally settling on a shake of his head. Truth was he had no idea what last night was, something or nothing. A slip up spurred from heightened emotions and history. A history Pacey knew would forever follow him and seep into the present to foreshadow the future. Pacey knew last night was a mistake, there were too many emotions flying around earlier in the evening left unchecked. Pacey knew giving in and forging ahead blindly listening only to his heart was not the best approach. Joey had done the same. Pacey was thankful, however, Joey had the forethought to spend the rest of the night on the couch instead. He knew if she hadn't, emotions, loneliness and desire would certainly escalate to something more and further complicate their situation.

"Need a lift to class?" Pacey stood up to grab his keys, pausing before the door to grab his coat from the rack. Jack nodded and grabbed his bag from the couch. Jack and Pacey moved into the hall of their building, talking animatedly over Jen's new admirer from the pizza place. Completely absorbed with the conversation, Pacey found his body crash into another. He reached out behind the young woman to firmly grasp her to stop her from toppling back down the stairs. She reached out with the same instinct to clutch his arms, steadying herself.

"Uh, i am so sorry" He gasped, his eyes resting on the woman's. He grinned with realisation.

"Oh, hey Sailor boy!" She grinned back in surprise. Jack watched the exchange between Pacey and the beautiful blonde. Hey eyed the woman with a sense of familiarity, not entirely sure where to place the woman.

"Melanie Shae Thompson." Pacey stated with a warmth to his voice "What brings you to these areas?" He asked her. She motioned to the Pacey and Jacks floor .

"I live here. One of my parent's less than desirable ideas to have me understand the perils of real world, no trust funds or shopping sprees for me. I even had to go and get a part time job" She smiled, her eyes rolling in her head. Pacey laughed, raising his eyebrows.

"So spoilt trust fund brat has fallen from her penthouse and forced to slum it with the working class eh?" Melanie smiled at Pacey, her blue eyes sparkling.

"Something like that, I think it's really a twisted experiment of my parents however. We'll have to catch up Pacey." Melanie pulled her self from Pacey's arms and moved to continue up the stairs, she stood and leant up to kiss him softly on the lips. " See you 'round Pace. Great to see you again Jack" She spoke, jogging up the rest of the way out of sight. Pacey stood watching after her until he could no longer see her. Caught up in the notion that he had been right, that history; at least for him. Never seemed to be behind him for too long. He noted the cheeky smile which had crossed Jack's face, choosing to ignore it they walked the rest of the way to the car in silence.

In the car, Jack spoke first.

"So...Melanie" He left his words hang there. Pacey rolled his eyes, knowing it was only a matter of time before the topic would arise. He glanced at his friend.

"Yep. Melanie"

"C'mon man, so what's going to happen now?"

"What the hell are you on about?" Jack just shook his head, choosing to leave the topic alone, at least for the time being. Pacey found a parking spot in the parking lot of Boston Bay, they bid farewell. Pacey pulled out and headed for Equinox, thoughts of the night before and that morning in his mind.

He thought about Jack's last question to him, what was going to happen now he wondered. Joey had already expressed her disdain for Melanie the night before. Pacey still felt the attraction towards the beautiful blonde he had spent a summer with in the Caribbean. He felt guilty, why?

_"It seems unfair to be with someone you don't truly love though Pacey."_ Joey's words played around inside his head from earlier that morning. Occupied by thoughts of the evening before and Pacey's encounter with Joey earlier that morning Pacey wondered what he was doing. Getting pulled into an emotional situation was not going to allow any type of a solution to everything that had been happening over weeks past.

Pacey parked his car in the parking lot. Silently hoping for a day without drama or proclamations of love.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: I am currently editing the next few chapters, hopefully will have them up in the next day or so. Hopefully you aren't getting bored with this. I have all 20 chapters worked out. What would a Dawson's Creek story be without all the angst anyway._

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 7

The evening dinner rush had been a tornado of heat, broken plates and scornful remarks from the mouths of women dressed in their finest snobbery. Pacey groaned, sitting down in the now empty dining room, he unbuttoned his cooks jacket. He sat waiting for Jack to finish cleaning the bar down so they could go home. A hot shower and a cold beer was definitely waiting for him.

Noticing Pacey with his head in his hands, Jack approached warily. Pacey lifted his eyes to meet Jacks.

"Ready Jackers?"

"Yep." He pulled his jacket on while Pacey flicked off the light switches before locking the doors behind them. A cool night breeze lifted, Pacey pulled his jacket around him tighter as they made their way towards his car parked over the road. Jacked took a glance over at his friend. He noted the solemn expression on his face, lost in his thoughts.

"Melanie came round before i left for work" Jack spoke offhandedly. Pacey nodded, unlocking the car.

"Yeah?" Mildly interested, he turned the engine over. Jack nodded.

"She asked if you could stop by after work, something about her dresser needed moving or something." Jack grinned understanding the subtext which seemed to fail Pacey.

"Why not just ask you to help?"

"Really man?" Jack scoffed at his friend, Pacey looked at him innocently.

"What?" Jack's only response was a shake of the head in disbelief. They drove the rest of the way home talking about the evening, Jack mentioned Jen's date with Vincent Thorn.

Pacey looked to Jack with concern on his face. "Do we like this guy Jack?"

"We don't really know this guy Pace" He supplied "But I don't like him on principal, he has all the warning signs of a sociopath." Pacey laughed at his friend, ever the protector of the feisty little blonde. Music sounded from behind their apartment door, Jack and Pacey grinned at Jen, dancing to chick rock in the middle of their living room. The couch, pushed aside to allow for her crazy antics. Pacey looked at Jack, they both grinned and shook their heads, Jen danced around oblivious to the voyeurs until Jack moved to turn the music down.

"Oh!" Jen stopped, grinning sheepishly "Sorry, was in the mood to let loose and Grams has one of her conservative bible meetings tonight so ... I thought you might have been Joey"

"Joey?" Pacey asked, feeling the heartstrings begin to knot "I am sure she probably has another book to read" He laughed trying to sound nonplussed. Jen smirked.

"Well she said she'd be here after the library, I mean seeing as she has no where to live at this moment. She's still not entirely sure about the bible toting witch that is Grams."

"Oh, ok then. Um I am off to be the err... chivalrous gentleman that i am and...err" Pacey pointed to the door, Jack nodded knowingly as Pacey closed the door behind him.

Pacey knocked on the apartment door four doors down from his, he waited and smiled hearing the sound of scuffling feet. Light flood the dark hall as the door was thrown open. Melanie smiled, her eyes sparkled. Pacey grinned at her.

"I hear my services are required." Melanie nodded, taking a step closer. She put her hands on his chest, moving them up to the collar of his jacket.

"They certainly are. I need a strong sailor to help me move some furniture" She moved closer to him, her warm breath against his neck. "But, I think we might need to take care of something else first" She whispered, her voice seductive in his ear. Pacey raised an eyebrow.

Joey walked up the staircase, noting a couple standing in the doorway of an apartment a few doors down. She stopped out the front of Pacey and Jacks place. Staring at the couple. It was Pacey. Pacey and that blonde trust fund bitch; Melanie. Joey could feel the heat rise inside her as she clenched her jaw. She watched as Melanie leaned into Pacey, her hands on his chest, whispering in his ear. Joey suppressed the urge to storm down to them and slap the woman, Joey balled her hands into fists at her side. She didn't move when Melanie had Pacey by the collar or when she pulled him into her apartment and slamming the door behind them. Only when the darkness of the hallway overcame her she turned to move.

Pacey felt himself being pulled into Melanie's apartment, a devilish grin spread across her face as she slammed the door and pushed Pacey up against the entrance wall. He winced as he felt the back of his head slam up against the rough exposed brick.

"Ow, Mel. What the -" Pacey was cut off by fevered lips pressed against his. Hands moved to tug at his jacket. Before realising what he was doing, Pacey placed his hands over Melanie's, pulling them away from him. "Mel, Melanie. What are you doing?" Pacey pushed her away from him gently, looking intently into her eyes. He raised his eyebrows waiting for her answer. She chuckled slightly, noticing he wasn't laughing she frowned slightly.

"What Pace? This the way we have always been. What, you don't find me attractive anymore?" Melanie pouted. Pacey smiled and shook his head, staring at her as he shook his head.

"No, no. Mel you are every bit the attractive blonde as you were six months ago...it's just." Faltering for words Melanie's eyes widened slightly and she smirked back at him.

"Don't tell me, Pacey Witter has finally strayed from his salacious lifestyle and gone and gotten himself into a grown-up relationship?" She mocked him, moving closer to him. "I won't tell if you don't" Pacey laughed nervously as she started kissing his neck, he could feel the heat between them. Groaning he brought his hands up to her shoulders to move her away once more.

"Mel, please." His voice took on a serious tone. "Do you need my help or not?" Melanie stepped away, a defeated look across her face. She sighed as she nodded. Truth was Melanie had never stopped thinking about Pacey. The last time she had seen him was a few days after he had been due to leave to sail around the Greek Islands. He told her he wasn't going and had too much left in Boston to walk away from. Melanie had been happy, they had spent one last night together but afterwards life pretty much got in the way and they lost communication.

The slamming of the door pulled Jen and Jack out of their conversation to stare incredulously at Joey, her face marred by anger and hurt. She stood momentarily in the kitchen, attempting futilely to regain her composure. Her eyes caught sight of an object on the bench. This was a bad idea. She sighed and grabbed the half bottle of vodka from the bench and slumped down into the worn couch beside Jack. A few moments of silence ensued. Jen raised an eyebrow as Joey lifted the bottle to her lips, taking a large drink of the contents. Wincing as she swallowed the liquid.

"What happened, you get a B?" Jack smirked. Joey glared at him, her dark eyes stung with tears. She sniffed. Jack lowered his eyes awkwardly. Clearly, not about school.

"Jo, is everything alright?" Jen stood from her seat on the rug to move between Jack and Joey. Joey rubbed her nose. She shook her head as tears slowly trickled down her cheeks. She swiped at them in frustration. "Joey, I think by the tears and the bottle this is something more than grades. History would suggest otherwise given your ability to turn a pop quiz into a life altering dissertation." Joey turned to open her mouth in protest "I think we can both agree this is not about scholastic as it is hearts"

Joey put her head in her hands. She began to sob, Jen placed her arms around her in sympathy.

The pain Joey and Pacey were both putting themselves through was almost unbearable for Jen, they were both hurting while they tried to work out their feelings for one another. Feelings which had never left either one of them. Now, with Audrey and Dawson and the details of their censorious affair out in the open. Jen had no idea what was to happen next. Jack stood up awkwardly and decided to recuse himself from the room to head to his bedroom. Jen smiled at him with appreciation as she sat, arm around Joey waiting for her to speak.

"Jen, it's just. I saw Pacey with that, that..." Her voice trailed off. Jen nodded knowing what she was going to say. Jack had filled Jen in about their collision with the 'trust fund blonde' earlier and her need for Pacey's muscle to help with the rearranging of her decor.

"It's ok Joey. I understand. The last few weeks has left us all a little raw, emotionally"

"There is nothing between us anymore Jen" She sniffed "I have no right, Pacey has made it clear that there can't be anything between us. I just don't know why, he's admitting that he is still in love with me. He knows how i feel too...I don't understand why he's pulling away"

"Joey, it hasn't been that long since he and Audrey ended it"

"Don't you think i know that Jen? " Joey's voice became laced with hostility "I know Jen. I'm sorry." Joey frowned while Jen rubbed her back. She did not know what to say to her friend which could possibly help to put her at ease. The only thing to help even in the slightest is if they were to both sit down and talk and allow time to steer them on a course they were both seeking.

Pacey was greeted by laughter as he entered his apartment, he smiled as he caught sight of Jack and Joey on the floor in a fit of giggles. The plastic twister mat lay crumpled on the floor beneath them.

"You tripped me Joey, you suck at this game" Joey held her stomach as she laughed. An air of silence came over the room as Pacey shut the door. Jack noted the tension in Joeys body as she watched Pacey remove his jacket. She watched him closely while he removed a beer from the fridge. "You are too competitive. I don't know why you can not just lose graciously" Jack grinned as he disentangled himself from Joey. They both stood up. Jen tossed the Twister spinner back in the box and stood up, she moved into the kitchen.

"So, Mel's back" She stated to him off handed, Pacey shifted uneasily catching Joey's eye. He nodded.

"Yeah, she needed help with her bedroom dresser" Joey snorted in disgust "Is there a problem Joey?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. She folded her arms against her chest and pulled her chin up in pride.

"No, why would there be, I mean Pacey Witter ever the knight in shining armour. Always ready to help the damsel in distress." Joey sneered "Especially the slutty blonde ones"

"Slutty?" Pacey stared at her in shock "What the hell is with you, i helped her move some fucking furniture Jo, what's with the jealous girlfriend act?" Joeys jaw set, she could feel the anger beginning to resurface. She moved closer to him, unaware of the retreating footsteps from Jen and Jack.

"Oh that's right. Pacey Witter - friend to women" Her smile was void of sincerity or warmth. Pacey let out a breath of exasperation, he moved over to the couch to sit.

"Jo. I have no idea what has gotten into you. You and I; we a friends, nothing more. I think anything more than that would be a mistake, you know that Joey." Pacey took a sip from his bottle, Joey moved over to sit next to him. Her anger was beginning to subside. Making way for the undeniable pain from the realisation of Pacey's words. She sat quietly, waiting for Pacey to continue. "I know that over the last weeks words have been said. I am not taking any of what I said back. What i said to you Joey is true. It's always been true but...just because I love you or you love me, doesn't make it right for us to be together."

Joey sat in contemplation, however she hated hearing his words she knew he was right. It felt familiar; the conversation. Thoughts of the dock outside her house came to mind, Pacey had sat there with her, holding her and consoling her. He had said something to her acutely similar. She had hated him then or at least she had tried to hate him then. Truth was he was right then, but now?

He was probably right now. They weren't ready to be together now. The idea played on Joey, those years ago she and Dawson weren't right for each other at the time either, he had been right about that. But they never were after, so what did it mean for her and Pacey in the future. Simply friendship? Maybe for now friendship was the best way, Joey was willing to wait. She would be the best friend she could to him, when he was ready for something more she would be there. For now friendship would just have to be enough.

Joey looked at Pacey, she smiled weakly. "I know Pacey, and you're right." She sat beside him, a silence overcame them both. It was comfortable and familiar. Joey watched as Pacey drained the remaining liquid from his bottle. He sat, staring ahead at the blank television screen, turned off hours before.

"We're okay though right?" He asked, his eyes glimmered in hope at Joey. She smiled and nodded. "Good. I just would not want anything to happen to this." His hands gestured between him and Joey " Our friendship means everything to me Jo."

"Me too" She replied. Pacey stood to return to the kitchen, he breathed a sigh of relief. He knew the next few days were going to be difficult to get back to the moment before Joey's drunken outburst the other night. He was confident they could close pandora's box back up and resume their patented banter.

"Incidentally Joey. Er whens the next meeting?" He asked. Joey frowned at him in confusion.

"Meeting?" Pacey grinned wryly; holding up an empty vodka bottle. He wagged it with a curious expression on his face. Joey flushed slightly. "Oh, that" She giggled. Pacey raised an eyebrow, his face becoming more somber.

"Jo. You and I both know that you have a proclivity for alcohol and it's possible cure for any problems that may arise. You also know that it always adds to them and very rarely solves them however." He smiled softly "You do make a very cute drunk however and do tend to lose the use of your legs also. Next time you want to drown your sorrows like a drunken sailor just come and talk to me first ok?"

"Aye, Aye Capt'n" Joey laughed. She then frowned at the seriousness in Pacey's expression "Okay Pacey, I am sorry. I will. I promise" Joey stood up and moved to Pacey, pulling him into an embrace. Pacey grinned.

"Okay, because Jo. I care about you and I worry about you."

"I know" Joey smiled as Pacey leant down and kissed her on the forehead. "We ok enough to sleep in the same bed tonight, I hate the couch" Joey looked up at Pacey hopefully. Pacey sighed and nodded. Wondering how many more nights Joey was going to be spending in his bed or if she was ever going to move back into her dorm room. Joey smiled and turned to head toward the bedroom.

"Hey Jo?" Joey turned to look at Pacey as he moved towards the fridge for another beer. "For what it's worth. I never slept with her." Joey's eyes narrowed.

"You mean to say you actually enjoyed the scenery the Caribbean had to offer without any distractions at all?" Joey arched an eyebrow. Pacey laughed, shaking his head. He opened his beer and took a sip. "Ah no. I actually meant tonight Jo. The Caribbean, well there were many, many distractions." Pacey grinned, letting out a chuckle at Joey's face, screwed it up in mild disgust.

Joey slipped beneath the covers, smiling, happy Pacey wasn't sleeping with Melanie again. She hoped it would stay that way, long enough for Pacey to realise his mistake in wanting them to go back to their friendship. She slipped into sleep easily, content with their conversation.

Pacey sat drinking his beer in silence, hoping he and Joey could go back to the way they had been, despite them both admitting their feelings for the other. Joey had concurred, albeit less than enthusiastically as he maybe. Shuffling sounds from Jen's feet cut through the silence, Pacey lifted his head up towards the sound.

"Hey Lindley." He smiled "Enjoy the show?" He smirked, taking a sip of his beer. The sympathetic frown which played across Jen's face was unmistakable.

"You okay Pace?" He nodded, leaning against the sink, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Nothing I can't handle. You know me and Joey, always willing to test the other on how far we can throw the insults." He smiled. Jen walked over to rest a hand on his arm. She sighed, hating to see her friends in pain.

"I'm sorry. I think with the events of weeks passed; emotions are a little heightened. I think it's put everyone on edge with the shift in the group's dynamics." Jen poured herself a glass of juice, she pulled a kitchen stool up and sat down. Pacey nodded, she was right. A lot of things seemed to be up in the air, possibly unresolved issues were swirling around as well. Pacey had been trying to not think about Audrey, truth be told; it was killing him. Jen sat, watching Pacey. His eyes took on a faraway gaze. She wondered what he was thinking. Over the years she had gotten to know him assuredly well, sometimes however there was a look in his eyes she couldn't exactly comprehend. A hurt he was either trying to hide or trying desperately to completely understand himself. Despite his exterior of bravado, which he displayed well and almost convincingly; she knew him enough by now. Pacey walked around waiting for the next piece of his heart to break. Jen wondered how many broken pieces it would take before he became completely unglued. It hurt her to see him like this, he had always been there for her, to listen to her without judgement or monologues of condescension.

"Do you want to talk about it Pace?" A smile of gratitude slowly formed, he shook his head softly.

"Not yet. I think...I think there are a few things I need to sort out inside my head first. Before I try and let anyone else inside there" He tapped his head and chuckled softly. "So Lindley, answer me two things." Jen smiled, happy for the lighter air to the room.

"Okay, what's that?"

"What's with this Vince guy?" His eyebrows arched suggestively. Jen laughed " Okay Pacey, you know I will have to bring him around to meet you and Jack, get the seal of approval from my surrogate brothers yeah?" Pacey grinned.

"Well, It sounds a little risque when you put it like that Lindley, I mean considering ..." Pacey waved his finger between Jen and himself, raising a brow suggestively. "I mean not that anything really eventuated between us, but..." Jen giggled, remembering their sexual experiment junior year.

"As I recall, nothing really happened because you were in love with someone else." She grinned. Pacey smiled, she was right. He had been, perhaps unwittingly at the time. Jen watched as Pacey took the last drink of his beer.

"Pace, what's the second question?"

Pacey grinned at her. "While i certainly have been enjoying your company, do you plan on going home any time in the near future. Or am I going to come home one day and find my place desolated by femme rock CDs, rom-coms and scented candles in the bathroom?" Jen's mouth dropped in astonishment, she picked up a dish towel and flicked it at his legs in mock annoyance. Joining in with his raucous chuckles.

Pacey and Jen sat talking well into the morning until eventually Pacey yawned and said goodnight to retire to his bedroom. He crept in, trying not to disturb Joey as he slipped beneath the covers next to her. She mumbled something incoherent before lifting her arm over his chest. Pacey sighed, carefully removing her arm and rolling onto his side away from her. She mumbled again, shifted a little in her sleep, she slid her arm beneath his around his chest once more and snuggled into his back. Pacey laughed silently to himself and closed his eyes, allowing her hand to remain.


	8. Chapter 8

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 8

A month had passed, the events over the preceding weeks had settled into the backs of every ones minds. They had found themselves in a comforting routine of fast food, movies and the usual banter they had always enjoyed in high school. Joey was able to move back to her dorm room now Audrey had left for L.A. Jack had begun frequenting a local gay bar, claiming his romantic life had taken a considerable hit. He had been spending too much of his spare time in the company of women and straight men. Jen spent her time between Vince's apartment and Grams', she was happy in her new relationship. Pacey and Jack didn't like Vince too much, he was arrogant and conceited.

Pacey stood in his kitchen with Joey, both enjoying their salad sandwiches on Pacey's lunch break and Joey's study break.

"Pace, why is it that away from Equinox your culinary skills go no further than sandwiches and the occasional pop tart?" Pacey took a sip from his glass of coke in contemplation.

"Well Miss Josephine, maybe because I don't have a woman to cook for anymore." He eyed her with an intensity he hoped was not as obvious as it appeared "And that is, of course with the exception of Jack." He chuckled. Joey smiled, pushing a strand of stray hair behind her ear. Pacey smiled at her, she was so beautiful. She had always been the most beautiful woman who had ever existed in his periphery. Now, they were back to what they had; before her outburst, before his declarations and before Audrey and Dawson. The one thing he knew they could never go back to, was them before senior year; before the infamous spring had thrown everything into turmoil. The moment which transitioned them away from the sarcastic and sometimes nastiness of their repartee. The time before love ever got in the way. Pacey sighed, a sigh of exhaustion Joey thought caused by a stretch of shifts for the fourteen days in a row he'd complained about earlier. Pacey knew differently. Exhaustion yes, not the physical exertions of the kitchen. The facade he had been keeping up. Lately everything felt like an act, a role he had fallen into. The role of Pacey Witter, friend and confidant.

Nothing more and nothing less.

He glanced at his watch and moved to the sink to rinse their plates and glasses.

"Ready?" Joey nodded and grabbed her bag and coat. Pacey pulled his jacket on and retrieved his keys from the pocket. As they were leaving, Joeys cell rang.

"Hello? Oh hi" She gave a nervous sidelong glance at Pacey, she hesitated." Um, can i - can i call you later. No i am just on my way back. Yep okay. Bye" Pacey gave an exhausted smile, shaking his head.

"Pace..." He held his hand up for her to stop with the explanations.

"It's okay Jo. I get it, he's your friend. I wish that it didn't hurt as much as it does. That no matter what he does you will always still love him. That you will always hold him in the highest regard." He frowned, shaking his head to dismiss what he was trying to say "Never mind." Pacey locked the door and passed her to descend the stairs. Joey looked after him, a regretful expression on her face.

The drive to Worthington was silent and strained. Joey noted Pacey's tight grasp of the steering wheel. She tried to speak, to say something to help him to understand. She doubted he could, she was wrong to think he should.

The grounds of the college was alive with the bustling of bodies, holding their jackets tightly against their bodies, warding off the biting cold. Pacey parked the car, he looked out the windscreen, not trusting himself to look at her. He didn't want her to see the pain in his eyes. Joey put her hand on the door, she hesitated and looked at him.

"Pacey?" He faced her, his eyes downcast "I know what you must think. That despite everything I am still loyal to him. He is my friend and we have a lot of history and that's why I am. It's not for any other reason Pace. You and me; we have something that Dawson and I never will have." Pacey simply nodded, not wanting to get into a heart to heart with her in the middle of a parking lot, in the freezing cold. He started the car nodding, not trusting himself to speak. "I'll see you later Pace" She smiled, her beautiful lopsided smile, Pacey returned the smile.

"Sure thing Potter." He pulled out, leaving Joey to watch him drive away. She pulled her coat around her, pulled her cell from the pocket, looking at it in her hand. She frowned and put it back in her pocket. Not wanting to feel as though she were betraying Pacey for wanting to call Dawson. She didn't want to call him but she knew she would.

Joey sat on her bed in a swamp of books, crumpled paper and empty coke cans. She flicked through the pages of the large art history book in her lap. Her eyes taking in the breathtaking oil painting. Men lay dead and dying on a make shift raft, their eyes wild from exhaustion, starvation and insanity. The painting was an icon of the french romantic era. The rich colours and meticulous detail was undeniable. Joey frowned, her thoughts coming back to Dawson. She had spoken to him two days before. He had tried to pull their life long friendship and unwavering love for each other out from the hurt and the betrayal of his actions. Much like this painting while devastating in it's subject, it had a beautiful and romantic feel to it. Joey slammed the book shut, she felt anger inside of her. Not for Dawson exactly, but at how he thought it did not matter what he did, he always thought she would be the understanding friend who was always going to be there. Regardless of happened she would always be the one he could turn to and she would turn away from everyone else for him. Joey fell back onto her bed, groaning inwardly at the knowledge it always came down to this, the one truth.

Choice.

Replaying history again, having to choose between her soul mate and her heart. Knowing, regardless of which she chose the latter may not come back to her and if it did; would it be whole?

The shrill ringing of the phone broke through and tugged her from her ruminative state.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded thick, as though pulled from sleep.

"Hey, Jo. What you doing tonight, up for drinks, pizza and fun?" The excitement in Jen's voice infected Joey through the line. She laughed.

"Sure, what's the occasion?"

"Does there need to be one?" Jen giggled "Fine...Pacey's birthday!" Joey rolled her eyes at her friends poor attempt at an excuse.

"Jen. Pacey's birthday is not until January. I don't know why you thought i wouldn't know that."

"Oh, yeah. Right. I miss you guys. We haven't had one of our little soirees for a while and I for one think it's overdue." Joey rolled her eyes, Jen was right. They had all kept to themselves of late. It would be good to get together to have a night amongst friends. "So how about I pick you up around six? We can get some supplies and dinner. Jack doesn't work today so he can help and Pacey, well is he working ?"

"Yep, last shift for a couple of days"

"Great, I'll call Andie and see you at six"

"Ok, great." Joey smiled and hung up the phone. Joey moved around her room, aware of the phone calling to her. She said she'd call. Joey frowned and picked her phone up. She called Dawson, a number she had seared into her memory.

She spoke on the phone to Dawson for over an hour, it felt good to be able to slip back into their friendship before he betrayed Pacey. Joey still could feel the underlying ache of his indiscretion with each syllable he spoke. Joey knew him well enough to know he felt apologetic and it was sincere. She wasn't however as sympathetic to him as she thought she would be. Sure, she was his friend and he had never betrayed her, but Pacey was her friend. They were all friends despite their past. They were in essence getting back to the place where they could at least sit in the same vicinity without the recriminations and vitriol. It hadn't been perfect but it had been a start. Now, everything had fallen apart again and Joey felt like they were replaying the same tug-of-war with each others emotions and hearts.

"Will i see you on the weekend?" Dawson asked, pulling Joey from her thoughts after a silence had washed over them for a time. "I'll be in Boston in the morning. I would love to catch up. But i mean unless you're busy..."

"That would be great Dawson"

A feeling of guilt and unease passed through Joey. She held back the urge to call him back, to tell him she was busy. She knew she couldn't because if their group was going get back their friendships she had to lead by example. No one else was going to do it, she was going to have to take the plunge and hope she didn't drown them all in the process. After two hours of being lost in between the pages of her art textbooks she looked over to the empty wall opposite her. Void of posters and clothes which usually littered the room and furniture, thrown haphazardly around by her former room mate. Ex-room mate and ex-friend. Joey sat wondering how Audrey was, she thought of calling her but thought better of it. After their last conversation she knew she would be the last person Audrey would want to hear from. Joey hadn't broached the topic with Dawson either, knowing it was a sore topic all around. The sound of the door opening and Jen's high-pitched giggling pulled Joey out of her reverie. Jack and Jen came barreling through her doorway, laughing.

"You ready?" Giving Joey the once over she frowned "You're not ready Joey. What on earth are you doing sitting in the dark?" Jen turned and flicked a switch before heading to the closet. She began rummaging through it for something for her friend that wasn't an oversized t-shirt and sweat pants. Joey allowed her the satisfaction of taking control of the situation, rolling her eyes at Jack. He laughed and held up his hands.

"Hey, leave me out of it. Jen's crusades are her own. But we had better get a wriggle on. Andie and Evan are meeting at my place in half an hour."

Almost twenty five minutes later the trio were laden with snacks, beer, wine and pre-mixed sweet and fruity girly drinks. They made their way up the stairs to Jack's apartment. Andie, being the one to never forgo a lax in routine and schedules was standing with Evan waiting for their return.

"Hey!" She beamed, taking a bag from Jack so he could unlock the door. She looked around the group, her face falling. "Where's Pacey?" Joey eyed her suspiciously, she gave a smile which didn't reach her eyes.

"He's still at work." She answered, not taking her eyes off Andie's. Evan frowned, trying to hide his discomfort. They all made their way into the apartment, Jen made a call for pizza to be delivered while Jack sorted through their collection to find suitable background music. Joey began stocking the fridge with alcohol and sodas. She handed out drinks while they waited for their food. Joey noted a new couch sat in the living room opposite the one they already had.

"This new?" Joey asked Jack, he nodded while taking a drink. Andie perked up happily.

"Yes, I bought it for Pacey... Jack! er Jack and Pacey. There's this lovely little second hand store on my block and I thought it would look great in here." Andie rambled, attempting to hide her slip "I mean seeing as we all seem to congregate here, or well we had been. Seemed like this was the place to have extra seating"

Jen smiled, sitting down next to Joey on the soft faux red leather couch. "Good thinking Andie" She spoke before the small flash of light which flickered in Joey's eyes became a fully fledged inferno. They sat while a shift in the silence became uncomfortable.

"So, Vince?" Joey asked of her friend "Where is he tonight?"

"Oh, he's taking his mother out for dinner, she's only here for a night." Joey nodded, taking a sip of the sweet berry and vodka drink. Jack pulled a face, followed by the rolling of his eyes. Joey smirked at him, he had made it abundantly clear his opinion of the man. Jen shot Jack a warning glare, he raised his eyebrows in challenge. Jen responded with a slight shake of her head.

Knocking on the door announced the pizza had arrived, Pacey walked up behind the gawky teen as Jack was paying for their dinner.

"What's the occasion?" He asked, greeting everyone and shutting the door behind him.

"Jen seems to think we are all getting lost here in the big city and we need to strengthen our teen tethers to one another." Jack supplied, moving various items off the coffee table to set the food down. Pacey nodded, removing his jacket and hanging his keys up on a hook by the door. He moved to the fridge to retrieve a beer. A grin crossed his face as he took a sip and innocently asked "So what; no Dawson?" Everyone except Pacey and Evan shifted uncomfortably. Pacey simply laughed and shook his head, curious as to why everyone around him seemed to be stepping around on eggshells around him.

The evening had finally taken on a less strained atmosphere and everyone slipped into the comfort of there friendship which had always eased them in their times of angst and turmoil. They sat, drinking and laughing. Talking about times in Capeside. Enjoying each other's company.

"Whoa, hold on. You slept with your English teacher?" Evan asked incredulously. Pacey laughed, nodding. Cursing Jack for dragging his past indiscretions up. "Wow, you really did have interesting high school years" Evan laughed "I can't believe you never told me Andie" He laughed.

"Well, considering it almost ended their relationship once Andie found out that night at Chris Wolfe's..." Joey let her words hang. A slight discomfort ensued.

"Yeah well I remember how it ended your relationship with Dawson after you kissed Jack" Andie grinned, fluttering her eyelashes at Joey. Evan whistled between his teeth.

"Seems you were all pretty close eh? So Andie and Pacey, Joey and er this Dawson guy. Joey and Jack?" he shook his head.

"Oh, there was also Jen and Dawson too." Pacey grinned

"Pacey and Joey" Jen added. The smile faded from Pacey's face, he quickly stole a glance at Joey. Her face fell slightly, she pushed her hair behind her ear. Evan shook his head laughing.

"That was just the relationships mind you" Joey smiled "There was also the no strings attached sex pact between Jen and Pacey" The group fell into peels of laughter. Evan gripped his chest in pain from laughing too much.

"You were all just a group of horny teenagers then"

Pacey laughed, draining the last of his beer. " I would have to say I might have been the worst...but Jen she was still quite the hussy." Pacey grinned at her with affection, she giggled in response nodding.

They had moved onto a less risque topic when Joey's cell rang. Jen glanced over to Joey as she stood, moving away to excuse herself. She disappeared into the bathroom down to hall. Jen regarded Pacey snort with abhorrence. He stood to take another beer and slumped back down onto the couch, occasionally he would look back down the dark corridor, a sliver of light illuminated from beneath the door. Pacey tried to hold his frustrations and insecurities inside him. He knew it wasn't doing any good, he could feel Jen's eyes on him.

"Pace?" Sounding more like a warning than a query into how he was feeling, Pacey snapped his head to her. A look of anger swept over him, he shook his head, his jaw set. Andie sat with watchful eyes. She had not spent as much time with him over the last two years but she still knew him well enough something upset him. She glanced down the hallway to where Joey had gone.

Evan scrutinized Andie as she crept forward on one knee to place her hand on Pacey's knee. He could feel his chest tighten as she whispered to Pacey.

"You okay Pacey?" She asked him, her hand remained on his knee affectionately, an innocent gesture. Pacey took a deep breath and placed his hand over hers. He briefly rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb before standing up to walk away. He smiled and nodded slightly. "Fine, thanks Andie"

Pacey moved to stand by the large living room windows, it seemed to be the place to be when dealt situations of contemplation.

"Makes you wonder if we're ever capable of changing the record." Jack now stood beside him, staring out into the city, the lights of the busy lives of those beyond theirs illuminated the buildings and the streets in glow of steadfast light. Pacey responded with a heavy sigh, feeling all the emotions and fears of senior year come flooding back. The reasons had forced him to retreat for the summer to the Caribbean. Pacey could feel his hands clench into fists at his sides.

"I guess we all have our roles to play haven't we Jack?" He took another drink, feeling the cool liquid as it made it's way down to douse the fire inside. "Dawson always seems to be that sinister puppeteer behind it all, pulling on the strings every so often. Just to see how much tension he can apply before they snap." Pacey looked at Jack, a somber expression played across his face, the anger which had been there previously now replaced with something resembling exhaustion and defeat. He breathed in "Jack, i'm telling you man. I am so close to breaking."

Evan left Andie and Jen to sit and converse. He walked over to where Jack and Pacey stood, staring out into the city. He handed Jack and Pacey fresh beers wordlessly, they nodded thanks. Three men stood, watching the city beyond. Evan was the first to break the silence.

"You know Andie has told me about your friendships, the intricate workings of how it all functioned and what not. The whole 'soul mate' spiel . Which mind you I have never taken too much credence in" He paused to take a drink "What I do understand is having to live in the shadow of another. Someone who for all intents and purposes seemed like a complete fallacy. That no man could ever be that forgiving, honourable or worthy of such love from another human." Jack and Pacey stared at Evan. He took a sip and continued "You must understand that you are lucky. Because what I have heard about this Dawson guy, he is no threat to you, no competition." He shrugged, placing a comforting hand on Pacey's shoulder "The way i see it, the only threatening shadow; is the shadow that you yourself cast. Think yourself lucky that you will never be with someone who has a 'Pacey' in their past. Because that is far worse than 'soul mate'. That, my friend; is tangible." Evan gave a weak smile, turned and returned to sit next to Andie.

The group had returned to their seats in the living room, they were back to the laughter and taunting. Joey returned, her cell phone in her hand. She slipped in into the pocket of her jeans and accepted the drink Pacey offered to her, they stood by the kitchen bench, staring into each others eyes. Joey gave him an apologetic smile, her eyes betrayed her. Filled with sadness and regret. Telling him the words her mouth couldn't. She was sorry, sorry for the tension, for the sides that had been taken. For the outbursts, recrimination and heart break. She was sorry for all the things she couldn't change or control.

Andie and Evan eventually said their goodbyes, Jen retired to her usual side of Jacks bed. Joey, Pacey and Jack sat up for a while longer before Jack began yawning and he too thought it would be best to call it a night. He had grumbled something about Jen wearing his clothes all the time then stood up and stumbled lightly down the hall, happily sloshed and tired.

"Lindley" He slurred, standing in his doorway, cloaked by darkness "Stop trying to get into my pants" Joey and Pacey chortled, sitting on the couch. Aware of the familiar situation he found himself in, Pacey sat. Staring at Joey. They sat in the soft glow of the light from the kitchen. Happy to sit in a comfortable silence which had felt strained earlier in the evening. Pacey smiled. Joey returned the gesture with her own lopsided smile. They sat not speaking, listening to the sounds of the city beyond the walls outside.


	9. Chapter 9

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 9

Joey's mind was feeling hazy, she could feel the heat in her cheeks from the alcohol. Pacey sat close to her, staring into her eyes with an intensity Joey had not seen for so long. The look of complete love and desire. A look she had taken for granted when they had been together. A look she had no right to receive any more. Joey could feel the sting of tears in her eyes, she willed them away. She sniffled, realising it wasn't working. It had to be too many drinks, making her overly emotional. They had both drunk too much.

Pacey lifted his hand to her face, he thumbed away a stray tear from the softness of her cheek. His hand lingered, caressing her skin down to gently pinch her chin to lift her face up to look at him. He smiled at her, leaning into her to kiss her softly on her forehead. He groaned at the feel of her soft, warm skin beneath his lips.

Joey could feel her bottom lip tremble, she clamped down onto it with her teeth. She tried with all the strength and will she could to stop the onslaught of tears threatening to crash through. Pacey's eyes shone with the same emotions. Joey leant up, to kiss his forehead in return, placing her hands on the sides of his neck, she couldn't stop the tears as they flowed down her face. Pacey covered her hands with his own and gently took them in his hands to bring them down onto his chest. Over his heart.

"This is killing me Jo." He whispered to her, his lips lightly touching her eyelids, whisper soft, like a touch which had left the skin but still lingered.

"Don't Pacey, please" Joey moved closer to him, covering his mouth with hers. Wanting him to stop talking, to stop the words which would inevitably talk himself out of being with her. Out of wanting her and eventually; out of loving her.

Pacey wanted to pull away from her, to stop anything going further. He knew he wouldn't, because simply put, he couldn't. He slipped his arm around her and pulled her closer into him, kissing her back with an aching he knew had travelled there directly from his heart. Joey moaned, the taste of Pacey was intoxicating. Her body shuddered with every breath he took with her, she pulled herself closer to him aching to be near him, to feel his body against hers. To get back the connection they once had. Pacey broke away first, taking in air. His breathing heavy. He began tracing the length of her neck with soft, delicate kisses. Increasing in intensity and passion. Joey cried out, her arms tightened around his neck.

Pacey's mouth moved up to her lips, kissing her with growing heat, he slowly stood up, his mouth never leaving hers. He slipped his arms beneath her knees and shoulders and lifted her up effortlessly, carrying her to his bedroom with ease. Like he had done so many times before.

He kicked the door shut and moved to the bed, setting her down on the soft covers. The room was dark, his foot caught the leg of the bed.

"Fuck" he swore, becoming off balance as he propelled forward onto the bed, he braced himself in time not to fall on top of Joey with his full weight. They both fell against in a fit of laughter. A loud crashing cut through the night as his bed collapsed beneath them. They began a new round of hysterics.

"Oh, god Joey. What are we doing. We've drunk waaay too much for this Jo." Pacey said, leaning down to resume kissing her. Joey broke away to smile up at him. She fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. "You know for a handy man...you make an excellent chef." She giggled, slipping his shirt off him. She reached down for the hem of his undershirt and pulled it off over his body, tossing it to the side. Her hands moving over his bare skin, eagerly pulling him down against her, kissing his lips, feeling the warmth of him against her in the familiar safety he had always provided her with. The only man she had ever felt safe with. He chuckled, moving his strong and capable hands to grasp her shirt and slide it up over her torso and away from her body.

"This is my fault is it?" He breathed against her neck, she nodded. Her voice caught in her throat "I thought it must have been your overly pampered Worthington ass." He grinned and slapped her behind with a devilish grin. He chuckled at her intake of breath in shock.

"Pacey?" She breathed.

"Yes?" He whispered back

"Bite Me!" She snorted. He laughed, bringing his mouth down into her neck, nipping her seductively. Joey squealed, calling out his name in delight.

Jack sat up in bed, pulled from sleep by a loud crash.

"What the-" He yelped in surprise. Jen grinned wryly as she came back into the room with a glass of water.

"Stray cats...in the street" Jen grinned. An unmistakable squeal calling out 'Pacey' resounded through the apartment. They both chuckled.

"Hey, do you know Drue's number?"

"Huh? Drue, Drue Valentine. Why do you want his number Jack?"

"Hey I bet twenty they'd get back together" Jack smirked.

"Hey, it was my twenty" Jen nudged him "Besides that doesn't mean anything Jack. You know what those pair are like. They are always spending too much time trying to find reasons to stay apart that they don't realise its because they are destined to be together. They are always fighting there hearts with their heads." Jen frowned. She knew they were supposed to be together, they knew it too and were too scared or stubborn to admit it. Dawson was simply just an excuse. Jack nodded, knowing Jen was completely and utterly right. They lay in silence, trying to ignore the muffled moaning from the next room.

"Fuck" Jack groaned in realisation.

"What?"

"He is totally gonna get me to help him fix that bed isn't he?" Jen responded with a howl of laughter. Jack only frowned. "Jen? I'm serious. I had shit to do tomorrow" Jen lost it in another giggling fit.

The sound of the groaning pipes from the shower pulled Pacey from his slumber, he slowly opened his eyes. A brief smile crossed his face momentarily, his eyes widened at the sound of the water being turned off. Pacey lifted the covers up away from his naked body, he dropped them down and closed his eyes.

"Fuck" He gasped through gritted teeth. He lay for a beat, opened his eyes and rolled from the catastrophic remains of his bed. He pulled on his boxers and stood surveying his bedroom, the tangled mass of his and Joey's clothes thrown erratically to the floor in their haste from the night before. The door to the bathroom opened, Joey stood in the doorway, eyeing Pacey closely. He turned to her. She noted a look on his face she had hoped she wouldn't see. A silent outlook of regret.

"Pacey?" She stepped forward. Pacey breathed in the sight of her, standing anxiously in his shirt, her hair damp. Pacey felt his heart constrict, she stood before him. As beautiful as ever. Pacey berated himself inwardly. Angry at how he had lost himself with her. He looked around the room again, not wanting to look into her eyes. Not wanting to be reminded of how much he loved her, how much he wanted her.

"Fuck." He rasped, pulling a sleeveless shirt over his head. "Fuck, Jo. We can't do this. This is just..."

"Too soon?"

Pacey shrugged, not knowing. All he knew was he had been able to suppress his desire for her for over a year since he had left her that summer. It had slowly been eating away at him, but he had done it. Joey moved closer to him, apprehension planted across her face. Not knowing what he was thinking, unable to look into his eyes as he refused to look at her.

Pacey's eyes narrowed slightly in thought before he jolted to begin picking up clothing and linen in a frenzy.

"Fuck!" His actions became more wild as he pulled the covers back and began searching. Joey's eyebrows furrowed as she watched him in confusion.

"What's wrong?" She asked. Pacey stilled and looked at her, his eyes wild with panic. He tore off to the bathroom. Joey heard him frantically searching around the small area.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He reentered the bedroom, Joey opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing. Pacey cut her off. "The condom Jo, where's ..." He kept searching. Joey's face fell in realisation, she shook her head. Pacey leaned over the bedside drawers, he paused and slumped back down onto the mattress on the floor.

"Did you find it?"

"Oh I found it"

"Okay, good" She breathed a sigh of relief. Pacey looked up at her solemnly, holding up an open wrapper. "What's wrong?" She asked. Pacey exhaled loudly, running a hand over his face.

"It's still in there Joey." Pacey watched as Joey's face fell. She felt slight panic wash over at the realisation.

"Fuck" He groaned again, tossing the offending item of betrayal in his waste paper basket. Joey took a few breaths to regain her composure. She moved to put a reassuring hand on Pacey's arm

"It's ok Pacey, it's not a big deal"

"What? Yes it is Joey. It's a very big fucking deal. We have never... I have never forgotten. I have never not been safe." Joey nodded. Pulling her hands through her wet hair. Trying to keep her breathing even. The panic began to rise in her as the situation sunk in.

"Look, I mean it's not as if this never ever happens Pacey. I mean people get carried away and..."

"What?" Pacey stood, his eyes flickered with anger. "What the fuck did you just say? So now, with this" He gestured around them " It still comes back to Dawson?"

Joey tilted her head up, matching his hostility. She could feel the anger bubbling inside of her "It only ever comes back to Dawson because _you _always make it so" She paused, her hands resting on her hips in challenge. Pacey snorted and walked towards the bathroom. There was a soft, hesitant tapping on the bedroom door.

"Er, Pacey? Um Gerald called. He asked if you could come into work. He wants to talk to about something" Jacks voice sounded from the other side of the door

"What about?"

"I have no idea, seemed important though Pace"

"Okay, thanks Jack" Pacey looked back at Joey, his face had softened. "So, what now Joey?" Joey dropped her hands to her side in a less threatening stance.

"I-I'll go to the clinic, get the morning after pill. No big deal Pacey. It'll be okay." She smiled, pulling a stray, damp tendril of hair away from her cheek to behind her ear. He nodded, and turned towards the bathroom. "I'll go after i meet Daw-" Her lips clamped shut, cursing herself as soon as the words escaped her lips. Pacey's froze, his body tensed. He spoke, his voice rasping and angry.

"Do whatever the fuck you want Potter" He slammed the bathroom door behind it. The harshness echoed through her body. Joey bent to retrieve her clothes from the mess on the floor. Tears stung at her eyes, she swiped angrily as they began to trickle down her face. She pulled her jeans up, tossed Pacey's shirt on the bed and finished dressing. She pulled her hair back in a loose bun at the nape of her neck.

Dressed and showered, Pacey entered the kitchen. Joey sat with Jen and Jack, a hot coffee in her hands. Pacey grumbled a good morning, not looking at Joey. He reached for his jacket and his car keys. He slipped out of the apartment without a word.

He was angry, he wasn't sure if he had ever been this angry in his life. Hoping the feelings would dissipate by the time he reached the restaurant Pacey drove through the busy weekend traffic. Couples walked arm in arm, laughing carelessly. Pacey parked in his usual spot in the car park.

Gerald looked up from his paper, a wide grin crossed his face as Pacey sat on the stool beside him at the bar.

"So Gerald, what's so important?"

"I have a proposition for you Pacey." He continued at Pacey's raised eyebrow. "I am sure you have heard the rumours of a second Equinox yes?" Pacey nodded, the word of another Equinox had been on the lips of everyone for the past few weeks. "Well, it is finally happening, so now that all of the refurbishments of the new location are complete, I need to get it all in order for the opening next month. This is where you come into it. You are one of my best guys Pacey." He paused, Pacey sat up looking at him, his curiosity piqued. "I need someone in New York to get the place ready, I need you to go to New York. While i know you may not be able to just pack up and leave on such short notice. It's only for three months. After that, you'll be back here." Pacey nodded slowly.

"How short notice?" He asked. Gerald smiled

"Three days. We'll set you up in a hotel until you can work out something more suitable." Noting Pacey's trepidation Gerald grinned "You're the best guy for the job Pacey. Your charisma and charm, as well as your professionalism is just what is needed to ensure a successful start to Equinox in New York." Pacey smiled his thanks, considering what Gerald had said. "So, what do you say?" Pacey grinned and extended his hand to his boss.

"I think Gerald that this is exactly what I need. To get away for a while. Don't worry about accommodation, i have somewhere I can stay."

Gerald nodded and left to retrieve some paperwork from his office for him. He returned smiling with a large envelope. He took it and stood to leave, saying goodbye.

"Going to miss me Gerald?" He grinned devilishly. Gerald laughed, slapping him on the back heartily.

"Well, yes but to be honest Pacey. Having a few months where all my waitresses aren't falling all over each other trying to snag shifts with you." He grinned. Pacey chuckled.

"Ahhh, the Witter charm Gerald. It's irresistible"

"It would appear so, at least some work might get done around here." Pacey laughed as he left, shaking his head walking to his car. He tossed the envelope on the seat next to him and sighed with relief. He had been right, this was definitely something he felt he needed. To be able to step back away from the problems for a moment, to reevaluate everything, his life and his heart.

Jen and Joey sat in the car park of Worthington College in Grams' car. Jen looked at Joey, concern marred her face.

"So, you want to talk to me about the frostiness of earlier?" Joey snapped her head toward Jen's sympathetic expression. She pushed her hair behind her ears. Shrugging, she looked away. She stared out onto the grounds beyond the car. "Jo, what happened?" Jen laid a comforting hand on Joey's thigh.

"I messed up Jen. I messed up big" She sniffed, new tears fell down her face. "I just wish. I just _hoped_ that there would be a time when this stupid, fucking triangle was going to fade with the rest of history that we all have. Why, with everything is that the one thing that stills seems to remain?" Joey's expression contorted in pain and insurmountable anguish. Jen frowned at her friend.

"I don't know Joey. I honestly don't. I think that until everyone involved stops to actually realise that they are replaying their own roles from history. Nothing will ever change" She paused, watching as Joey slowly nodded in concurrence. "Dawson, he has always had this hold over you Joey. The worst thing is that he knows this and he uses it to manipulate you in so many obscure ways that sometimes I don't even know if you are aware of them. Pacey? Well Pacey keeps falling back into his self deprecation, he has had a terrible life. While I know you haven't had the best life either Joey, but throughout your life did you ever once doubt that any of your family loved you?" Joey looked to Jen, her eyes glazed with pain and sorrow. She shook her head. "It's not really surprising that Pacey always doubts any genuine feelings from others towards him. When his entire life, he never received that from his own family, from his parents. Because in all of everything, the love from a parent is the love that never comes with conditions or at least it shouldn't. It is a love that should to be unwavering. If he doesn't get that from his own flesh and blood how do you expect him to feel he ever could from any one else?" Silent sobs overcame Joey, Jen pulled her into an embrace, tears stinging her own eyes at the realisation of Joey's pain.

"I- I don't know how to fix this Jen. " She looked at Jen, her eyes pleading "How do I fix _him_. He is so broken Jen, he is the most broken person I know and I can't fix him." Jen's eyes watered, her vision hazy. She could feel the burn in her throat as she suppressed the tears she refused to shed for her friends. She wanted to be the one which held them together, they had been through so much and she knew history meant they needed to stick together.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Jen asked, releasing Joey from her arms. Joey shook her head and turned to leave. "I can cancel my plans with Vince. I don't mind" Joey turned back, managing a weak, lopsided smile.

"No Jen, thank you. I'll be okay I have to meet Dawson soon." Jen nodded and started the car. Joey waved, watching Jen pull out and head off out of Worthington.

Joey grinned at Dawson, she pulled him into a quick embrace.

"Wow really?" Dawson laughed, nodding. He played with the salad on his plate.

"Yeah, it's for a few months, Todd wanted to have the movie centered in and around the Ivy League schools in Massachusetts." He laughed, happy he wouldn't be on the other side of the country for a time.

"So where are you going to be staying?" Joey asked him, beaming. Dawson shrugged, taking a sip from his coffee cup.

"I think I will stay in Capeside, it's close enough but if I get tired of the commute I may see Grams about crashing there." Joey nodded, it made sense. Dawson eyed her, noticing a slight shift in her features. A darkness came over her face. "Don't worry Jo. I'm not going to go stirring anything with Pacey" He said. Joey relaxed, her face softened into a weak smile.

"Okay, well good"

"What, did you think that I would?" Dawson became defensive "The last thing I want to do is go back there Jo. I know i made a huge mistake that i, that i can't ever take back. Despite what Pace said that night, it wasn't about some revenge for what he did to me."

"We both did it Dawson. This shouldn't always have to fall on Pacey." Joey interjected, feeling an irksome anger beginning to swirl in the pit of her stomach. History. Again, that's what it all was, especially with Dawson. He was always hell bent on holding onto it so it appeared there would never be enough room in his life for the here and now. Much less any semblance of a future. Joey stood up, picking her bag up over her shoulder.

"Well I had better get going, it was great to see you Dawson. We'll catch up soon yeah?"

"Yeah, bye Jo"

Jack had left for work, leaving Pacey alone inside his apartment. He had told Jack about moving to New York. Jack had been apprehensive but warmed to the idea knowing Pacey still planned to pay his share of the rent. Not having to pay for accommodation while he was to be staying in New York. Jack had however asked him if leaving was because he was running from his problems. Pacey had thought he would say something similar, he had thought the same thing as well. A part of him thought it was the reason he had accepted Gerald's proposal as eagerly as he had. But as he thought about it further he knew New York was a great opportunity. Pacey now sat waiting for Jen and Joey to arrive so he could tell them the news, he had no desire to relive graduation and how he had disappeared without a word. There was a light knock on the door, Jen let herself in. Pacey looked over to her, noting she was alone.

"Hey Jen. Where's Joey?" She shrugged. "Might be still with Dawson perhaps" Jen knew what the name was going to do to Pacey, she said it anyway. She was sick of her circle of friends stepping around each other with caution, afraid to say the wrong things.

"Yeah...right" He replied bitterl.

"So, what's up Pace?" She smiled, accepting the beer Pacey offered. "What's the big news?"

Pacey grinned "I'm going away for a bit, to help with the launch of another Equinox." He beamed with excitement. He took in Jen's crestfallen expression.

"For how long?" She asked him. He smiled warmly at her.

"For three months, not too long."

"Okay so where are you headed?"

"New York." Jen sat down, nodding as the information sank in. She smiled at her friend.

"That's really great Pacey, where are you going to stay?" Pacey sat next to her on the couch.

"I called Gretchen, she said she'd be happy to have me stay. Providing I cook and clean the toilet." He laughed "Thinking now maybe I should just find a cardboard box on the street to sleep in" He chuckled, thinking about his senior year and living with Gretchen when she had taken a break from college. It hadn't been all too bad, he and Gretchen had always gotten along well. She was his favourite sibling.

"Have you told Joey yet?" He shook his head "It'll be okay Pace, maybe you two just need a break for a bit." He nodded, thankful for Jen's perspective and that it matched his own.

"That's what I was hoping to be honest" He took a drink from his bottle. Jen sighed and rested her head against Pacey's arm.

"Going to miss you Pacey" She said. Pacey reached around his arm and pulled her into his embrace, he kissed her softly on the top of her head.

"I'll call you every few days just to tease you then, sound alright Lindley?" She nodded, they chuckled. Pacey squeezed her shoulder with affection. Jen yelped in pain and pulled away from him. Pacey looked at her in surprise, he set his beer down, pulled Jens shirt down, just past her shoulder. He whistled through his teeth at the sight of a large red mark, it glared back am him. The mark was relatively fresh.

"Lindley?"

She looked away from him, shaking her head. "It's nothing Pace, you know me. A few too many drinks and...and I get a little clumsy" She laughed through tears. Pacey kept his eyes on her. He noted her rubbing her wrists absently. Pacey's eyes narrowed, he took Jen's forearms and pushed her sleeve up in haste, then the other. Both wrists sported purple bruising on them, the imprint of fingers.

"What the fuck has he done to you Jen?" Pacey growled. Jen swallowed nervously.

"N-Nothing Pacey, i told you. Just clumsy" He shook his head in infuriation.

"Don't fuck with me Jen. This!" He roared, holding arms up to reveal her wrists "This is not clumsiness. He's grabbed you."

"Pacey, please" She pleaded with him. Her tears hot against her cheeks. "It's just, you know sometimes things get a little intense. Hell you and Joey broke your bed!" Pacey shook his head, he dropped her arms and stood up. He began pacing in front of her.

"No Jen" He stopped "Don't insult my intelligence. I may have only graduated high school by the skin of my teeth Jen but this. Is _not_ consensual." Pacey seethed, waiting for her to respond. To give him some ridiculous excuse for the low - life man who had hurt her.

"He loves me Pacey" Her voice was barely audible, it left her lips and lingered in the air momentarily before being pushed away into oblivion by Pacey's laughter.

"Are you fucking kidding me? That much pain and anger, that's not love Jen" Jen stood to look him in the eyes. She lifted her head in fury.

"You are one to talk Pacey. You are hurting just the same as me, physical or emotional. It's the same, it hurts. It's love" Jen slammed her drink down and headed for the door. She slammed it behind her. Leaving Pacey to stand in shock watching the closed door. He groaned and headed for the fridge. He doubted he'd get any sleep that night. Everything was falling apart, his friends were beginning to unravel.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N At about half way point in this story, hope to have next chapter up in a couple of days please R&R_

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 10

The morning light radiated through the large windows of Pacey's bedroom. He groaned, feeling he had not had enough sleep. After Jen had stormed out of his apartment the night before Pacey had felt anxious, it had played on his mind. Pacey lay, thinking about their argument. How Jen was in an abusive relationship and she was happy to be, or because she thought an abusive relationship was okay. Pacey growled and stood up, stretching while he walked out into the kitchen. He noticed the quiet over the apartment, Jack had probably left for class already. Pacey had not had a chance to speak to Jack about Jen and Vince.

Pacey moved about the kitchen, he glanced at his suitcase by the door. Today was his last day in Boston for a while, he was leaving early in the morning. He knew he was going to need to have the conversation he had not been looking forward to. Hoping Joey had arrived the night before so Jen could have acted as some type of mediator between them. Pacey made himself a coffee and decided on an omelette for breakfast. He was stalling, he knew it. Pacey had managed to drag his feet for the next five hours, finishing breakfast, scrubbing the kitchen. Stripping his bed and servicing his car.

The sun had set by the time Pacey looked up at the clock on the wall, he sighed. Not having anything else to do he retrieved his keys, threw his jacket on and headed out. Pacey thought about how the conversation was going to start. Although only for three months, he knew Joey wasn't going to see it his way, especially after the other night. Since the morning after they had not spoken a word to each other. This was going to cause discomfort of an immeasurable amount, to say the very least. Pacey's mind wandered to Jen, she had been screening calls and had refused to answer him. He knew he had to apologise to her, he hoped she didn't take too much to heart and understood he was only wanting to protect her. Things were more than slightly messed up at the moment. It seemed as though Jack was the only one who was okay, which after his drunken downward spiralling the year before Pacey thought it a good thing.

He locked his car and made his way across the perfectly manicured grounds of Worthington college until he stood outside of Joeys dorm building. He sucked in a breath of courage and entered, walking up the halls with slow and deliberate steps. He stood outside her dorm room.

Now or never, time to just rip the band aid off. Pacey knocked, timidly. He sighed at no response. He knocked again with more effort. Shuffling on the wooden floorboards. Joey opened the door, she looked at him with a stormy expression while she regarded him. Pacey shifted uneasily in the doorway.

"Hey Potter."

"Witter." Joey stood in the doorway, tightlipped and still decidedly upset. Her eyes steely. Pacey gestured towards the room.

"Can I come in?" He asked, biting down on his lip in apprehension "We need to talk Jo." Joey stood, watching him with eyes which told him nothing, disguising her emotions. She shrugged slightly, moving so he could enter. Pacey looked about the room, noting the emptiness without Audrey's belongings and her god awful furry pink pillow.

"So, you spoken to her lately?" He asked, not looking at her. Joey shook her head, her face softening.

"No, she pretty much hates me at the moment." She sighed and turned to sit on her bed. She looked up at Pacey as he stood awkwardly, he turned around. He had not expected this to be this hard. "So, unless you're just wanting to discuss Audrey are we done here?" Pacey shook his head.

"No, I don't want to talk about Audrey." Joey raised her eyebrows at him "Have you talked to Jen?" He asked.

"Jen? She's probably rolling around between the sheets with Vince" She smirked "Not much time for us now that she'd found him" She smiled, allowing her guard down.

"Yeah, right." He said through clenched teeth. Joey let out a laugh "He's an asshole Joey. The lowest form of life known to man kind" He added. Joey's eyes narrowed.

"What, why? I know you don't really like him but that's a little caustic isn't it?"

"Nope, not at all. Jen has bruises, on her wrists and her shoulder, who knows where else." Pacey began to feel his anger resurface "We had an argument about it and she refuses to take my calls."

"What?" Joey's mouth dropped in shock "Well has she reported him to the police" Pacey shook his head "Why not?"

"Because Jen seems to have this kooky notion that love supersedes everything, even personal safety." He frowned. "I just don't want her to be angry at me. I mean I want to make sure she's okay because I am not going to be able to help after I leave." Pacey mentally kicked himself, Joey's face fell. Her eyes widened.

"What?" She asked in rasping tone "You're leaving?" Pacey nodded, regretful for how he had revealed his leaving. This was not going to go over well at all. Silently asking a higher power for a do over Pacey moved towards Joey.

"I don't want to fight about this, it's only for three months Jo. Gerald asked me help with the launch of another Equinox, it's a great opportunity Joey." Joey refused to look at him, tears stung her eyes. He was leaving her, just like he had always done, one way or the other he was running away. She nodded, not allowing herself to speak. "Jo, say something?"

"Where are you going?"

"New York, i'll be staying with Gretchen."

"So, well when do you leave?" Pacey hesitated, shifting awkwardly. Joey noticed his discomfort "Pacey, when?"

"Tomorrow morning. Early"

"And you're just telling me this now?" She stood, fuming. "Were you going to tell me, or did you think you could just slip out of town without a second thought to how people would feel?" Joey was yelling now, she tried to control her temper but it wasn't working. "But that's just typical isn't it. Just get up and run away when you can't handle it" She accused him, Pacey could feel his own temper begin to creep in.

"And there it fucking is"

"What?"

"All of my past mistakes now thrown back into my face. I am not running from anything Joey. I have been offered a really great opportunity, to prove myself to Gerald that I can handle something like this. But of course you would read more into it and spin it into something more than what it is. Not that I am surprised." He sneered "You have been hanging out and talking to your soul mate lately. Goes without saying you'd start to sprout all the shit he does."

"How dare you!" She yelled at him, her tears streaming down her face unchecked. "If there's anyone that turns shit around and manipulates what I say it's you Pacey. I don't know why you seem to be comfortable being the screw up that you seem to think everyone sees you as. I don't Pacey, i have never seen you as a screw up. But now you do this, just decide to up and leave and i don't know what to think"

"Joey, all we've done, especially of late is argue." Pacey kept his temper in check "We can't keep it up or there won't be a friendship left Jo. I think we need to step back, take a break"

Joey shook her head, the pain she was feeling overshadowing her anger.

"So you are going to do what you always do Pacey?"

"And what is that Jo?"

"You're going to leave me. Leave and break my heart again"

"Joey if you don't want your heart broken then..." His voice trailed off

"Then what?"

"Then stop fucking giving it to me!" He shouted "I can't do this anymore Joey. It hurts too much." Joey turned from him, wrapping her arms around herself, she began to sob softly, keeping her eyes down. Pacey looked helplessly, feeling his heart breaking. He moved to hold her.

"Don't!" She pulled away from him "Don't touch me, don't ever touch me." Her eyes were wild with pain and hatred. "Get out!"

"Joey, please"

"Leave me, don't ever come back. I never want to see you again"

Pacey left her to throw herself onto her bed and sob uncontrollably. Pacey quietly shut the door behind him, he stood for a moment just outside her room, he walked off down the halls. He hadn't known how the conversation was going to go, he knew there was going to be some kind of argument but this? He never expected her to want him out of her life, to never want to see him again. He had screwed up, majorly and done the one thing he didn't want to do. He had hurt her, he loved her more than anything. He knew they couldn't or shouldn't be together. Not until they were sure what went wrong with them, it didn't mean he didn't want to be with her because he did, every moment of everyday.

The short journey back to his apartment appeared to take an immense amount of time. Pacey was aware of his thoughts straying to the conversation or moreover the yelling match with Joey. It certainly was not how he had hope their conversation would play out. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it would however. It wasn't surprising given their relationship over the years. Filled with intense emotion, whether it be anger, sorrow and passion. Above all; passion.

Pacey was more than aware of his current stance of contradiction, being in love with someone and yet refusing to be with her. He knew being scared and hurt wasn't helping, truth was he had no idea what to do. Run blindly ahead in the usual Witter way, or actually use his head, despite popular belief he did have it, and possessed the intelligence to use it.

Pacey came home to an empty apartment, Jack would still be at work being still relatively early. Pacey found himself yawning and unbelievably tired.

He decided he would lay down for an hour or two. He had to get up early the next morning to drive to New York. He lay in the dark for several minutes before drifting off to sleep, his mind wandered to Joey in those last few moments of consciousness. Knowing even in sleep he would still never escape her.

The shrill ringing of the phone on the bed side drawers pulled him from his slumber, Pacey flailed around, swatting as the offending object wailed at him. He picked it up, groggy with sleep

"Yeah?" His voice hoarse. His eyes widened at the voice on the other end.

"Pacey, it's Evelyn. Can you please come now." Her voice was shaking, certainly not the stoic voice of Ms Evelyn Ryan he was used to.

"What's happened...is it Jen?"

"Please come" The line died, Pacey took a second or two to allow himself to wake further before he jumped up, hastily pulling his shoes on. He grabbed his keys and threw his jacket on. Pacey shot towards the staircase, taking two and three stairs at a time in his hasty descent. Before he realised he found he was on the way to Worthington, knowing Jen was going to need her there with her. Pacey was yelling at Jen in his head for her stupidity, he was angry beyond belief she would allow this to happen to herself.

His bashing on the door of Joey's dorm room sounded throughout the hallways of the deserted building. He yelling uncaring who heard

"Joey, Jo."

"Go away Pacey" She yelled back angrily.

"Open the fucking door Josephine now!"

Heavy steps made their way to the door, Joey threw it open in umbrage. Her face was hellish mad, her eyes wild in anger. Pacey stepped back in surprise, momentarily off guarded by her disposition.

"You have the gall to turn up here -"

"It's Jen, come on" He growled roughly, walking down the hallway without a second glance back. Joey paused, quickly grabbing her coat and slamming her door locked behind her. She ran struggling to keep up with Pacey's long strides.

"Pace, Pacey what's going on?" She jogged, tangling herself up in an attempt to put her coat on. Pacey's only response was a slight jerking of his head, shaking it. He looked at Joey briefly, his eyes filled with fear and uncertainty.

Pacey drove toward Grams' house, spurred on by the unknown of what they might find when the got there. Pacey was unsure as to why Gram's had called him before anyone else. He knew she wouldn't have been able to call Jack seeing as he was still working. A heavy feeling of dread sat in the pit of his stomach. He glanced over at Joey, she was chewing on her lip. Her knee bouncing nervously, Pacey leant over to still her leg, placing a warm hand on her thigh softly.

"It'll be okay Jo" He breathed, hoping he were right. Joey nodded, tears in her eyes. She covered his hand with her own, thankful for the small gesture of comfort.

Joey followed Pacey as he barreled his way through the front entrance. Jen sat at the foot of the staircase, her arms around her knees. She looked disheveled and scared akin to that of a small child. Her face showed her emotion of relief at the sight of her friends, she stood up, falling into Pacey's arms in distress. He pulled her into him, holding her while her body shook while she wept. He held her small fame, seeming delicate and fragile.

Jen held Pacey around the waist, holding him tightly. She did not want to let go of the instant safety he provided her. Finding her voice momentarily she spoke to him

"I'm sorry Pace, you were right. This much pain ... it - it can't be love."

"Shh Jen, it's okay. You're okay now. I got you." Pacey pulled away, Still holding her so he could take the sight of her in, his eyes scanned her. She had a black eye, a small cut about her eyebrow. He noticed bruising around her neck, fingers had dug into her skin with malice. Pacey could feel his rage begin to surface. Joey turned to Grams.

"Has she called the police." Grams started but was interrupted by Jen.

"No! You can't. You can't go to them, he said. He said if I did he would come after me. After me and Joey and Andie. He said that he would hurt Grams." Her eyes pleaded with them. "I - I can't go to the police."

"What?" Pacey seethed pulling away from Jen "That bastard. That fucking bastard. Where is he Jen? He at home?" Pacey was pulling out the keys from his pocket and moving for the door. Joey tried to grab for him, he pulled his arm away from her shaking his head.

"Pacey, please you can't..." She began as he slammed the door behind him. Jen looked at Joey, her eyes filled with fear.

"Oh god Jo, what's he going to do?" Joey stood, stunned and shaking her head.

"I don't know Jen, I don't know." Grams looked on, not knowing what to do or say. She had looked Jen over and noticed she was fine and needed ice but nothing permanent, despite the bruising around her ribs, nothing seemed broken. She decided the best thing was to make tea.

Joey walked Jen into the kitchen, the bright light from the kitchen revealed the harsh reality of Jen's injuries. Joey gasped, the sight of her friend's body hit her like a fist to the stomach. She could feel her eyes filling with the pain Jen must have been feeling.

Jen, why didn't you say something?" She asked, Jen just shook her head. Feeling ashamed of what she had allowed to happen to her. Grams busied herself with preparing tea for them.

"Thank you very much for being here for Jennifer, Josephine."

"Of course Mrs Ryan." She smiled weakly, her arm loosely draped over Jen's shoulders. "I just hope Pacey doesn't do anything stupid. I mean we know Pace, the white knight hero complex that he has." A frown crossed Joey's face, she kept a nervous eye on the front door.

Pacey could feel his body tense with anger as he sat driving through the city streets. He knew where the low life lived as he had to give him a lift the week before after a big night at the bar at Equinox. Pacey seethed, the blood coursed through his body, burning trails of fury through his body. Flashes of red crossed his eyes, turning onto a side street to where Vincent Thorn resided. With narrowed eyes, Pacey leaned forward, over the steering wheel to find the house he was looking for. He felt the adrenaline begin to pulse through his body as he caught sight of his place. Wheels screeched to a halt along the curb, Pacey launched himself out of his car, taking the steps up to the house in two strides. He bashed his fist against the worn exterior of the run-down building. Not waiting he began to yell.

"Vince!" He slammed his fist into the walls again "Vince you fuckin' scum bag. Get out here now." several lights across the street and further down flicked on in curiosity. Pacey, vaguely aware of the scene he was causing bashed again. A light came on in side.

"What do you want?" Vince's voice yelled from behind the locked door, tension was in his voice. Pacey snorted and shook his head.

"Open this god dam door you coward and get out here and face me."

"Fuck you Pacey" He screamed, not willing to open the door.

"You want to hit a woman, you piece of shit. How about you come out here and we even the stakes huh, come on man i am looking for a fight."

"Get outta here."

"Oh, no that is not how this shit is going to shake out." Pacey seethed "You get out here or i fucking swear i am coming in." Pacey heard a lock from within slowly being turned, Pacey stood, he tried the screen door. The flimsy mesh had begun to tear away from the frame. Despite it's state of disrepair it was locked. Light slowly spilled out onto the street as Vince opened the door. Pacey wasn't sure if Vince had said anything, he saw his chance and he had not hesitated before taking it. Vince stumbled back into his house as Pacey's fist met his cheek, punching him through the screen door. He jumped through the now destroyed screen and lunged at Vince. He pinned him to the wall, swinging at his face again. He took satisfaction as his fist hit it's target. Pacey saw nothing but Jen's face in front of him, angering him more at what this man had done. He bent low and brought his fist into Vince's gut. Vince keeled over, gasping for air, his arms flailing around for something to steady himself. Pacey brought his elbow down onto the back of his head. Vince fell forward, throwing a hand down on the floorboards below him. He launched up, Pacey moved out of his way easily. Vince fell to the floor below him in a crumpled heap of exhaustion. Far too spent to move. Pacey leant over, his breathing heavy. He smirked at the man, his expression filled with malice.

"You are fucking pathetic. What kind of a man are you, the only hit you can get in is when it's directed at a woman" He spat, slowly standing to leave.

"You...you'll be sorry. I hope you can look after that girl of yours" Vince called, spitting blood. Pacey spun around.

"You touch one hair on Joey's head..." Pacey leant over close to his ear "I'll come for you. You wont be going anywhere after that unless it's in a wooden box"

"Is that a threat Witter?" He snarled as Pacey stood and began walking away. Pacey turned to look down at the man, a sinister glint in his eye that caused Vince trepidation.

"Not at all. It's a fucking guarantee."

Pacey entered the entrance of Grams'. Joey came running out. Pacey's shirt was dishevelled and bloodstained. Joeys eyes widened as she took in the sight.

"Pacey?" She ran to him, beginning to grab at his shirt and pushing it up his torso. Pacey swatted at her impatiently, as he moved towards the kitchen.

"What are you doing woman?"

"Pacey, you're..."

"Not my blood Jo, it's..." He turned to look at the tears in her eyes "Hey Jo, Jo? I'm sorry. It's ok i'm ok" Joey bit back tears, her face overcome with emotion. Pacey stepped back to her and drew her into his arms. She fell against his body, holding him close to her. "I'm sorry Jo, I didn't mean to frighten you." He kissed the top of her head, rocking her to soothe her as one does a young child. He pulled away from her to guide her into the kitchen where Jen and Grams sat. Jen's eyes grew wide at his state, Grams moved toward him in concern. Pacey held up a hand and laughed.

"I'm ok. As i said to Joey, it's not my blood." Grams nodded, her expression stoic, Pacey could not tell what she was thinking, he could bet that she did not approve of his split and bruised knuckles as she looked him over. However, perhaps she believed in an eye for an eye. "Jen, I really think that you should go to the police, especially if he's threatened others" Jen shook her head

"No, that's why I can't Pacey"

"Ok, look I don't want to argue but please can you make sure that you don't go taking unnecessary risks. I'm leaving in the morning, I want you to promise that you won't go anywhere on your own okay, any of you." Pacey eyed each of the three women in turn, they all nodded. Pacey breathed a sigh of relief.

"Maybe we can convince Dawson to move in here instead of going back to Capeside every night while he's living here." Jen spoke looking at Joey, Joey's eyes bulged a little and she quickly glanced at Pacey. She could see his posture tense and his jaw tighten.

"Yeah. Maybe" He said through gritted teeth "I've got to get up early. So I had better get some sleep. Have you managed to get hold of Jack yet?"

Joey shook her head, Pacey guessed as much. It was usually a busy night at Equinox and he didn't think Jack would be home until the early hours of the morning. Pacey said his goodbyes, said he'd keep in touch and made sure that he wrote down his sisters number in New York if they couldn't get hold of him. He turned to Joey

"Am I taking you back to Worthington?" Joey looked at Jen.

"No, I think i will stay with Jen, I don't have classes until the afternoon." He nodded and turned to the door, Joey followed to walk him out. She wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the cool night air. Pacey smiled down at her and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead.

"I am happy for you Pace. I am. It's just..." Her words were lost, she faltered not knowing what to say that wouldn't be bringing up what had already been said. Pacey simply nodded knowingly. He turned to his car.

"Get inside Potter, it's cold out"

Pacey waited for Joey to go back into the house before he started the car and drove off.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Currently editing already written chapters and writing more, from chapter 14-20 I will be using them to finish off this story as well as setting it up for the next story to continue. Please R&R._

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 11

The warm glow of the sun cast it's light across the horizon as it had begun it's ascent on a new day. Pacey drove, his eyes set on the road ahead. He thought of the night before, of Jen and Vince. He thought of Joey and their argument early on in the evening. His words playing around in his head, as though on a continual loop.

_"Joey if you don't want your heart broken then..." _Pacey tried to push it out of his head, everything from their conversation. He focused on the centre line of the road before him. Desperately needing to think of something else, anything or nothing at all. Anything which did not come back to Joey.

_"Then stop fucking giving it to me!" _Nothing worked, he couldn't get her out of his head, she encroached on his mind like a virus. He knew he was doing the right thing, distance between them was the only way he could look at everything. Being in close proximity had not helped his situation. He sighed, being out in the middle of the Caribbean or across the country in L.A had not helped either. Despite he had been sharing his bed with another woman. Pacey thoughts drifted to Audrey, he felt the guilt of being with her while still being in love with Joey and maybe on some level she knew it. Maybe it had been she had slept with Dawson, she wanted to punish him too, for loving Joey. Just like Dawson had.

_"I can't do this anymore Joey. It hurts too much." _Thepain of an invisible vice gripping his heart felt almost suffocating. He put his foot down, needing to put the distance between him and Boston, between him and Joey and possibly the mistakes he might remake if he had stayed.

"This road is fucking _endless _"

The sun had ascended into the sky hours earlier, now mid morning Joey finally made it to her room, a night of exhaustion. She had spent most of it beside Jen. Allowing her to cry in her arms before falling asleep in the early hours of the morning. Joey walked into her room, feeling lost. She looked around her, the emptiness hitting her like a wave. She felt alone.

"Hey Jo" A familiar voice broke through her thoughts from the open door. Joey spun around in surprise, she forced a smile.

"Hey Dawson" Noticing the sorrowful look on her face he faltered. Standing awkwardly.

"You okay Joey?" The hours of trying to hold back any emotion while attempting courage, Joey finally broke. "Joey?" Dawson moved to hold her, she slumped against his chest in exhaustive sobs. She shook her head, clutching at his shirt with desperation. "What's happened?" He asked her, confusion marred his face. Joey looked up, her eyes swollen with sadness, her lip trembling. She pressed her lips together, to stop them quivering.

"Everyone is broken Dawson. _Everyone_." Dawson gave her a quizzical look.

"What's happened?" Joey pulled from his arms and moved to sit on her bed. She sat, gathering her thoughts. Dawson sat beside her and listened while she recounted the night before. She left out her argument with Pacey, wanting to leave another altercation off the table, she did not have the energy for yet another sparring match with yet another boy. Joey turned to him finally.

"So, that's why Jen had suggested you move in at Grams'. With Jack working most nights now that he's getting more shifts and now that Pacey's left" Her voice faltered "I think that Jen would feel -"

"What, left? Where's Pacey gone?" He interrupted. Joey chewed down on her lip, tears in her eyes.

"He moved to New York, it's temporary. It's only for three months" Dawson stood as Joey turned her head away, Dawson saw the look in her eyes. He sighed, wondering after everything he had put her through; how she could possibly love Pacey as much as she obviously did. He decided he didn't want to get into it so he let it slide. He agreed to moving in with Jen and Grams. Having to take a phone call from a berating Todd he said his good bye and hightailed it out of the room.

The familiar gloss black and gold window trim of Equinox stood before Pacey as he stood on the sidewalk. The large tinted windows captured the reflection of a young man who had spent hours on the road with little sleep within an immense shroud of sorrow, anger and pain. Pacey attempted to run his hand through his unruly hair, he laughed at himself in futility. He looked up, the building had not yet had the signage erected yet but in essence was much like Equinox in Boston. Pacey pushed the heavy glass doors and made his way into the restaurant, there were a few people walking about. He caught the eye of a pretty waitress, she sashayed her way toward his, flicked her dark blonde ponytail off her shoulder. Pacey greeted her with his most charming smile.

"Hi, Fay." He spoke, reading her name tag "I'm Pacey, here to see Carmen." Fay's face flushed.

"Sure, i'll let her know you are here" She smiled, her blue eyes sparkled as she gave him the once over, she disappeared into the kitchen. An older woman emerged from the door, her dark hair pulled back tightly in a bun, her eyes dark as indian ink. Pacey felt himself smiling as the woman moved towards him, her hips swayed with confidence and sex appeal. Pacey decided three months away from Boston and his friends may not be as bad as he had first thought.

"Hello Pacey, it's great to meet you. Gerald has been singing your praises for weeks now." She smiled, revealing perfect white teeth as she extended her hand. Pacey took her hand, lingering as her soft skin wrapped around his hand.

"Well, I am certainly humbled by that Carmen." He smiled and looked about the restaurants interior "This place looks great" She pulled her eyes away from his face to look around too.

"Yes, all renovations are complete, the kitchen is done." She walked around signalling him to follow while she talked about the upcoming weeks. She showed him throughout the building, introducing him to the staff.

Almost two hours had passed by the time Pacey was saying goodbye and heading out the door to find his way to Gretchen's.

Gretchen's was not too far from the restaurant, Pacey was thankful he did not need to drive into the city. If he had he knew he would likely get lost. Pacey found her street fairly easily, he parked out front, grabbed his suitcase and locked his car. Pacey ascended the stairs to the second floor, he found the apartment halfway down the brightly lit corridor. He had just finished knocking when the door swung open, greeted by two sparkling blue-green eyes like his.

"Hey loser" She grinned, pulling him into an embrace. Pacey laughed

"Hey Gretch" Pacey shut the door behind him as he followed his sister into the apartment "How have you been sis?" He set his bag down beside the couch and flopped himself down on the soft fabric of a single armchair. Gretchen sat down on the couch opposite smiling.

"Great Pace, work's great. New York is, well New York" Pacey grinned, nodded knowingly. He knew, out of all of his siblings, Gretchen was the one who was going to be a big success in the big city. He was happy for her, a couple of rough years and she still seemed to have managed to stay on top. "You know I was surprised to hear that you were coming to New York Pacey, i'm really proud of you, so is Doug." Pacey nodded.

"Thanks Gretch, despite our love hate relationship, means a lot to me" He stood up and began looking around her cosy apartment. "This is a great place Gretch" Pacey moved over to the large windows, the mid morning light streamed in, bathing the living room and kitchen in a warm ambient glow. Gretchen stood and moved to stand beside him. Noting the forlorn expression on his face.

"Hey Pacey, you want to talk about it?" She asked him. Pacey turned to her, attempting to hide his emotions. He shrugged.

"About what Gretch?"

"About what it is that is causing the look of downtrodden concernment that is plainly written across your face?" She placed a hand on his arm "Doug told me about your break up with Audrey, not specifics but..." Pacey let out a breath of prostration. "What happened?"

"She decided to fall pregnant"

"What?" Gretchen's mouth was agape. Pacey looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry Gretch. It wasn't mine. Hence the breaking up part. " Gretchen's hand squeezed Pacey's arm in comfort. "She was doing it to hurt me" He said, taking a hand from his pocket and running it through his hair.

"Hurt you, why is that. What did you do?" She walked into the small kitchen and returned with a couple of sodas. Pacey's eyes furrowed as he tapped the can before opening it.

"Gee thanks Gretch" He said in a mock tone of hurt "I didn't do anything, well not exactly." Gretchen sat back down on the couch "I guess she knew that I wasn't in love with her, that i was in love just that it wasn't her."

"Joey" Gretchen knew, she didn't even bother to make it sound like a question. Pacey smiled softly and nodded.

"So she slept with someone else and decided as a way to really drive the knife home she'd choose Dawson for her little night of debauchery." Gretchen coughed, choking on her soda in surprise. She looked at Pacey incredulously, he looked serious.

"Dawson got her pregnant?"

"Yep" He sat down next to her. Glancing over to his sister he noted the genuine look of concern as it swept over her face "I'm okay Gretchen. A lot has been happening over the last few weeks. Audrey, Dawson, Joey. A lot has happened" He laughed lightly, thinking back over the few months since he'd returned from L.A. Gretchen nodded to his hands, the knuckles were swollen slightly still with a few abrasions to illustrate what they had been up to recently.

"And that?" She asked him. Pacey looked down at his hands, flexing his fingers into a fist and stretching them out again. He shook his head, smiling.

"Let's just say that my over zealous hero complex has been taken out for a spin. A very worthy cause I might add" He smiled, taking a sip of his soda. Gretchen simply shook her head knowing all too well her brother's need to be the protector. They sat on the couch talking about events which had happened, Pacey filled her in on Jen and Vince, also talking about Audrey and Dawson. He and Gretchen had become close senior year when they had lived together. He was comfortable talking to her about everything even recent events with Joey.

"So what are you going to do now, with Joey?" Pacey frowned, truth was he had no idea. He had been trying desperately to deal with his internal struggle between what his heart felt and what his head was telling him was best. History always seemed to play out in all of their lives, Pacey knew it would never change. He wasn't sure if he was able to go down that road again. He knew where it lead, his and Joey's hearts being broken, possibly beyond repair this time.

Jack was feeling exhausted, more in the emotion sense than anything else. He had spent most of the day when he wasn't in classes with Jen, he had an hour before work and was finally able to get home. The hastily scrawled note he had discovered earlier from Pacey had him panicking. He had managed to talk to Pacey later that morning before he went to his classes. None of what Pacey had told him had prepared him for when he saw Jen, the bruising on her face and her neck. There was bruising around her ribs as well. Jack quickly showered and threw his clothes in the laundry basket. Jack picked up Pacey's clothes, catching the sight of a light blue button up shirt. He picked it up and held it out to view. Dried blood coated it, Jack whistled through his teeth. He grinned, knowing the sonovabitch deserved what he got and Pacey was not a guy to pull his punches. Jack decided the only place for the shirt was in the garbage. Jack was pulling his jacket on when there was a knock on the door. Jack opened the door to find Melanie leaning in the doorway, she smiled at him giving him the once over. Jack shifted uncomfortably as she moved closer to him, placing a hand on his chest and propelling him into the apartment with fervency. Jack found himself stumbling back.

"Err hi Melanie, what...what's up?" He asked nervously. Melanie licked her lips as she moved her face closer to him.

"How are you Jack?" She purred. Quickly looking around the apartment. Jack gripped her hand and pushed her away from him gently

"I'm good Mel, ah what brings you round?" He asked, his brows furrowed in curiosity, she moved closer to him, brushing her lips against his lightly.

"Oh I thought we might get to know each other" She said.

"Err. Um Melanie. Please" He pushed her away from him, more adamantly. "Pacey's not here, so ..." His voice trailed off. She looked around them again and stood back.

"Oh, where is he?" She asked

"Moved to New York, for the next three months." He smirked noticing the looking of disappointment in her face "Not sure what that was all about Melanie but even if he were here i doubt that you would have made him jealous."

"Oh, really. I guess he doesn't care that much about me then?" Jack simply shrugged. Finding the keys to the apartment and putting in his pocket.

"Whether he does or not is inconsequential, considering"

"Considering what?"

"Melanie. I'm gay"

"Oh." Her eyes widened "Really?"

"Yep. Pretty sure" He grinned at her as he followed her back out of the apartment. "But Melanie, Pacey's not really ready to get into another relationship or, well whatever you two have. Look, i gotta go. I'm going to be late for work otherwise." He smiled and jogged off down the stairs leaving Melanie to stare after him in disappointment. Jack simply shook his head wondering how Pacey managed to get himself in situations with women.

Gretchen was sitting with her morning coffee when her close friend sauntered into the apartment, a huge grin across her face. She hurled herself down into the chair opposite Gretchen at the kitchen table. Gretchen arched a brow.

"You overdose on your happy pills this morning?" She smirked, noting her friend's elated disposition. "What's with you Fay?" Fay beamed at Gretchen with a silly look on her face.

"Oh my Gretch, met the new chef last week that's going to be there the next few months at work." This piqued Gretchen's curiosity "He is absolutely gorgeous, his smile and oh those eyes. I must say I have never seen anyone sexier." She purred. Gretchen stifled a laugh

"Ha ha, really i doubt he is that good looking Fay."

"He is, i bet you could not resist his charms" She spoke, closing her eyes. Gretchen laughed, knowingly.

"Oh I bet I could" She said . Fay was about to retort when a phone sitting on the counter rang. "Phone, loser!" Gretchen called out down the hall. A couple more rings passed until Pacey came jogging down the hall from the bathroom, clutching a towel at his waist.

"Damn it!" He cursed after missing the call. He squinted at the screen to see who had called him, his hair was dripping. He took a moment before realising he had an audience. Pacey looked around to see his sister laughing and another woman staring at him, her mouth open in surprise. "Morning ladies" He grinned, turning and moving back down the hall into his bedroom. Fay turned back to Gretchen, her mouth agape in disbelief. She leaned forward and whispered to Gretchen.

"That's him, how...how?" She was certainly flabbergasted, not knowing what to say. Gretchen could only laugh hysterically, shaking her head. Pacey made his way back down the hallway, dressed in work pants and a snug fitting white undershirt. He made his way into the kitchen to pour himself some coffee. He turned to face them, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Fay, isn't it?" Giving his usual grin oozing charm with a little mischief thrown in the mix. Fay nodded, looking between Pacey and Gretchen.

"I see you have met Pacey, my brother." Gretchen smiled. Fay dropped her head into her hands with embarrassment. "Fay was just talking about you Pace" She grinned, Fay's eyes widened.

"Oh _really _?" He asked, raising his eyebrows in curiosity. Gretchen nodded, giving Fay a sidelong glance. Fay shook her head slightly, hoping Gretchen would keep her mouth shut and save her from impeding awkwardness. Luckily Pacey's phone rang again.

"Hello? hey Jackers, how's everything. Jen, she okay?" Pacey paused taking a sip from his mug " What, who came onto you?" Pacey began to laugh. "You have got to be kidding me, why on earth?" Pacey shook his head, listening to Jack relay events of the previous night "I said to her the other week that it was over between us. I mean we weren't really all that serious anyway. Yeah? Well I guess if Melanie can't turn you nothing will. Okay, thanks for calling talk to you later Jack. Bye" Pacey hung his phone up laughing. Gretchen looked at him in curiosity.

"What was that all about?"

"Remember me telling you about Melanie, the Dean's niece?" Gretchen nodded "Well she lives in our building and hit on Jack. Apparently hoping i was around to be jealous" Gretchen laughed.

"Really?" He nodded. Fay looked at them in confusion. "Jack and Pacey share an apartment, Jack's gay" She spoke, filling her friend in. She looked over to Pacey, his face had taken on a solemn expression as he stood, coffee in hand staring out of the window. Gretchen knew Pacey had a lot on his mind. She knew he was probably thinking about Joey, sporting the look she had noticed over the last few days he had been there. Pacey drained his cup and grabbed his keys and jacket.

"Well i am off to work" He smiled. Pulling on his jacket Pacey left the apartment.

Pacey was aware his thoughts had drifted to Joey over the week he had been away, after the conversation with Jack he knew the only thing which could make him jealous concerning another woman was Dawson. He gritted his teeth, unlocking the driver's side. Joey and Dawson were probably going to lunch and dinners, watching movies and spending time with each other. Pacey berated himself as he thought of them, they were friends. He knew, he just hated Joey had no problem with the way Dawson acted and was always ready to drop everything to be there for him.

Pacey sighed and started the car, trying to push thoughts from his mind as the car lurched forward into the street.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N I am working on the next few chapters slowly, trying to set it all up for the sequel. Please R&R!_

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 12

Joey made her way down the street, pulling her long coat around her. It did nothing to hold off the brisk winter from her, a coat better at completing her fashion attire than actually being functional. The leaves had long since abandoned the security of their branches and lay downtrodden on the ground. Glancing above her, Joey noted the darkness in the clouds, they threatened impeding snow. She stepped up to the stoop of Grams' house and knocked. There was shuffling inside before Jen opened the door with a grin.

"Hey Joey!" She smiled, stepping aside for Joey. Joey smiled weakly, entering the warmth of the house, she heard the distant crackling of burning wood in the hearth. Jen motioned for her to continue into the kitchen, the familiar base for all of their conversations. Jen was happy for the company, she had grown much closer to Joey in the months after that night. Jen busied herself with milk and cocoa. She frowned at her friends quietly distracted disposition, something she had noticed for some time, since Pacey had left. She had tried not to involve herself, Joey was one to always keep everything to herself, a completely guarded person.

Jen sat down a hot cup for Joey and hoisted herself up onto a stool opposite. Joey had the usual faraway look she had been sporting of late. Jen eyed her, struggling with the idea of saying something. Jen had her suspicions, thinking it came down to the absence of a certain turquoise eyed, brunette. Joey sighed, she had spoken to him a lot over the phone but missed him more than anything and couldn't wait for him to come home. Their conversations had been light hearted and the usual banter between them had resurfaced. Nothing had been spoken of, especially their night together days before he had left.

Joey looked at Jen, feeling her eyes focused on her.

"What?" She asked her. Jen smiled, her eyes looking over to where Joeys eyes rested on the calender.

"Only a month to go" She grinned. Hoping for a typical acerbic retort from Joey, she frowned when Joey simply nodded her head. "I was thinking that I could get a holiday job at the mall, i think i would make a sexy santa's elf, given my vertically challenged stature and all"

"Yeah Jen, sounds great" Jen frowned, setting her cup down, studying Joey's face closely.

"Okay, what's going on Joey?" She asked her, Joey set her cup down and looked at Jen and frowned. Jen could see she was worried about something. She toyed with the handle of her mug. Chewing on her lower lip wondering how to start. "Joey we've been friends for awhile, regardless of how long it's taken us to get here, you are my closest friend. So how about you just get it out and tell me?" Joey nodded and took a deep breath.

"Jen. I-Im pregnant." She stated, waiting for Jen to respond. Jen took a long breath and nodded.

"Okay, so...does Pacey know?" She asked, knowing the answer. Joey shook her head. Jen thought a moment "So you're what, eight weeks or close to that?" Joey nodded. She had avoided going to the doctor. Despite the positive home pregnancy test she had taken, Joey was content to stay in denial for the foreseeable future. At least until she needed to tell Pacey. "What are you going to do Joey, I mean you need to work this out and pretty soon." Joey chewed on her lip.

"I don't know Jen, I mean i don't know if I could...I mean i know this is not really what anyone needs. I am almost half way through college and Pace. God Jen Pace doesn't need this. We aren't together and things are complicated already without this. But..." She smiled weakly. What was she saying, she had no real idea what to do or how Pacey was going to react.

"But you are thinking of going through with it." Joey sighed and pushed herself away from the counter, she began pacing the kitchen. She looked at Jen, her eyes on her in sympathy.

"I think so Jen, but." She stopped and crossed her arms "I can't really make any decisions without Pacey right?" Jen stood up, seeing the augmented tears in Joeys eyes, she moved to wrap her arms around her.

"You need to talk to Pacey i agree, but realise that through everything this is your decision Jo, it's your body." Joey nodded, offering a small smile. "Just remember that I am here for you, you don't need to go through this alone not that I think you would. Pacey, he's a big kid at heart but the last couple of years he has really stepped up and turned into a real grown up." Jen smirked, Joey let out a small chuckle. "And he loves you, despite your tenuous situation at the moment. He is loyal and honorable to a fault Jo." Jen rubbed her friends back and moved to sit back down on her stool.

"I know" Joey wiped her eyes "Thank you Jen"

"How about we catch a movie or something, you've been studying a lot lately. I think you could use the distraction. Jack doesn't work tonight and I think he could use some relaxation."

"Sounds great Jen"

Jack, Jen and Joey entered a small, cosy coffee house not far from the theatre. Deciding on the warmth of hot chocolate and a muffin before the movie. Jen and Joey sat in the crowded coffee shop waiting for Jack to return. Jen noticed Joey's mood was decidedly happier tonight. She smiled at Joey.

"So, how are you feeling Jo?" Joey gave her a grin.

"I am great Jen, thanks for the talk earlier. I think everything is going to be okay. While I know Pacey and I have a lot to discuss and figure out. I think it's going to be okay, certainly not something i was prepared for but...I feel positive that we can make this work." Jen smiled, squeezing Joey's hand in affection "After thinking about it all i am kind of excited really, scared but excited."

"Excited about what?" Jack asked as he set their hot chocolates and muffins down. Joey looked at him, her eyes wide.

"Spring break, we need to get excited about something right?" Jen broke in before Jack could ask anything more. Joey nodded grabbing an apple and cinnamon muffin.

"Oh, well so what did you have planned for us?" He asked taking a sip.

"Road trip." Joey blurted out without thinking "You know, all of us on a wacky adventure" She grinned. Jack laughed and shook his head.

"All of us?" Joey nodded. "You, me,Jen, Pacey and Dawson?" He continued incredulously. Joey's face dropped at the realisation. "Well this will be fun with Pace and Dawson in close proximity. Pity Audrey is across the country, we could have asked her along too." He grinned. Joey frowned, not the best idea she berated herself, maybe a better cover up story would have been better, at least a believable one. Jack shook his head laughing.

"What?" Jen asked him

"Hey i get it, you two are just gil talking and trying to cover it up by creating some spring break adventure." He held up his hands "I don't want to know, the last thing i am interested is what goes through the minds of women. But when you do seriously make plans for Spring break make sure it doesn't end in homicide okay?" He chuckled, taking a bite from his muffin. Jen and Joey nodded in unison, both with nervous laughter of relief.

Pacey placed the grilled salmon up to be taken by one of the waitresses.

"Last order" He winked at the waitress, she blushed, taking the plate and walking away. Fay sidled up to the counter to Pacey. She smirked at him.

"You know, for someone pining away for the love of his life you do seem to flirt with a hell of a lot of waitresses." She grinned. In the few months of getting to know Gretchen's younger brother they had engaged in a few deep and meaningful conversations. He had told her all about his friends from Capeside and about Audrey. Pacey had begun cleaning the benches down. He looked over at Fay, standing up and placing a hand over his heart.

"I am not pining away thank you very much." He frowned "Besides even if i were, the flirting is a welcome diversion. It's all part of my charm i'll have you know." Fay rolled her eyes.

"Believe me I know" Pacey chuckled lightly, removing his apron. He pushed his way through the kitchen door and into the dining room, happy to have finished his shift. He was going to miss working there when he moved back to Boston. Fay flopped down into a chair at an empty dining table across from Pacey. He took a long drink from a bottle of water. Pacey noticed a look of concern as it crossed Fay's face.

"What?" She shook her head "Come on out with it" He said. Fay shrugged, taking Pacey's bottle and taking a sip from it before placing it in front of him. She swallowed, his eyes were still on him, watching him intently.

"Have you decided what you are going to do?" She asked him finally. Pacey let out a sigh, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He looked at Fay, shrugging.

"I don't know Fay, I mean I really would like to think that things would be different but." He shook his head. Since moving to New York Pacey had found Fay to be a great person to have as a friend, she had been his shoulder to cry on when discussing Joey. He had even told her about the last night he spent with her, about how even though he didn't regret it he thought it a mistake. It simply added yet another complication to everything. Pacey stood to leave "You need a lift?" He asked her, Fay nodded and they left the restaurant.

The movie theatre was crowded when Jack, Joey and Jen entered. Joey's eyes darted around her and found the sign for the restrooms.

"I think too many hot chocolates" She grinned, jerking her head towards the restrooms, Jen nodded and followed. Hearing Jack grumbled something about women, he went to buy tickets for the newest Tarantino film.

Jen pulled herself up onto the bench near the sinks as she waited for Joey, leaning over to check her eye makeup. "You sure about this Joey?" She asked. The flush of the toilet sounded through the bathroom, a door swung open and the sound of heavy footsteps followed.

"Jennifer Lindley, what a surprise" Vince stood grinning. Joey came out of the stall, staring at Vince in shock.

"What the hell?" Jen jumped down, moving over to Joey. Vince stood between them and the exit. Joey swallowed nervously "Get out Vince, get out before..." Vince laughed, advancing quickly on Jen, he slapped her hard across the cheek with the back of his hand. Jen stumbled back in surprise

"Jen!" Joey moved towards Jen before feeling a grasp around her arm. Vince spun her around to look at him. He grabbed her around the throat and pushed her back against the tiled wall behind. Her arms flailed, gripping at his forearms trying to pull him away from her. He pushed Jen off him easily, shoving her to the floor, not breaking eye contact with Joey. Her eyes showed fear, Vince's mouth curled up in a malicious grin.

"Well, well where is Lancelot tonight Guinevere?" He laughed "News is he is in New York, so imagine how happy i was to see you two walk in here. Out and about without your knight in shining armour." Joey's breath hitched in her throat. Jen groaned and begun to stand up, "Say hello to Pacey for me" He sneered as he brought his fist into Joey's stomach hard. He let her go, leaving her to double over, clutching at her stomach in agony. He quickly left the restrooms. Jen was at Joeys side in seconds.

"Jo? Joey?"

Joey gasped for air as the pain washed over her, she clutched at her stomach feeling painful cramping in her abdomen. Her jeans become damp between her legs. Joey took a breath and moved her hand between her thighs gingerly. She looked down at her blood covered fingers in horror. Jen was on the phone to Jack, crying frantically. Joey looked up at Jen, tears had begun to fall down her cheeks.

"Jen?" She gasped, Jen looked down at Joey's hand in terror.

"Fuck."

Pacey walked Fay to her door, pulling out his phone to check if he had missed any calls while working. He frowned at the screen blinked at him.

"Everything okay?" Fay asked him. Pacey shrugged, looked through the list of missed calls. He noted there were twelve missed calls, all within the last thirty minutes. Jack and Jen mostly. There was even a missed call from Dawson. Pacey looked at Fay, beginning to feel his chest tighten he began to call Jen, the sound of his phone ringing caused his heart to skip a beat.

"What's up?" He asked trying to keep calm. He remembered the last time no one could get hold of him the year before when Mitch had been killed in a car accident.

"It's Joey" Jen's voice was shaky on the other end. "She...she's ok, but she's in hospital" Pacey could feel the colour drain from his face, the tightening in his chest became more intense.

"What happened Jen?"

"Vince, Vince attacked her Pacey."

"What?" Pacey's anxiety quickly replaced with rage, he was pulling the keys from his pocket. "Fay, it's Joey. She's hurt i'll. I'll see you later." He quickly jumped into his car. "Pacey, be careful" Jen said to him. Pacey tossed the phone beside him and tore off down the road, weaving through traffic impatiently. A thousand things going through his mind over what had happened. Jen had said Joey was alright, but there was something else, he could tell in her voice something was wrong. Pacey drove carefully through the streets until he got onto the freeway, he then put his foot down.

Jen sat beside Joey as she lay in the hospital bed, her face ashen. Jen held her hand, hoping she could comfort her. Joey had been sobbing for the last two and a half hours they had both spent talking with the police. Now they waited in silence while the blood tests were being analysed.

"It's gone Jen" Joey said, sniffling "I lost it" She began to cry again, it wasn't until that moment she fully understood how much she wanted to keep her baby. To have Pacey's baby. Jen leaned forward and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Joey's ear.

"We don't know that yet Jo." She said, trying to sound reassuring, Joey simply shook her head.

"Jen, the tests are just a formality. They know i've lost it Jen. I know it" She began to cry again "I-I just want Pacey"

Jen looked toward the door, hearing frantic voices behind them. She stood to move out. "I'll be back" She said before walking into the corridor. Met with Pacey's expression of fear, Jen began to cry. Pacey moved to her and pulled her in a rough embrace.

"Jen, what happened, Joey. She's okay right?" Jen nodded.

"Vince found us in the women's restrooms, he - he hit Joey..." Her voice trailed off. Pacey pulled back to look at her.

"There's more to this Jen, what's going on?" Pacey looked around to Jack and Dawson. They both shrugged.

"Pace, go and see her." Jen said stepping away from him, sorrow filling her eyes. Pacey nodded and walked into the room. Joey lay in the bed, her head in her hands crying, the sight broke Pacey's heart in two. He sat on the bed.

"Joey?"

Joey lifted her head and pulled Pacey into her arms sobbing uncontrollably. He kissed the top of her head and began rubbing her back to calm her. Waiting for her sobbing to subside.

"Everything's ok though Joey right, you're okay aren't you?" Joey looked at him, new tears streaming down her face. Her lip trembled.

"Pacey, i'm so sorry" She said. Pacey's eyebrows knit in confusion.

"Sorry for what?"

"It's gone" She sobbed again "I - I lost it." Pacey feeling even more confused shook his head.

"Jo, you need to start making a little more sense here. Lost what?"

"The baby Pace, I lost our baby" She started to cry. Pacey sat, staring at her. Not knowing what to do or say. He simply pulled her towards himself, holding her tightly while her body shook, wracked with despair.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked her "I mean, how long have you known. Why didn't you tell me Jo?" He asked. His tone soft. Joey sat up, wiping her eyes as she tried to regain her composure.

"It's not really something that I wanted to tell you over the phone Pacey" Pacey nodded, feeling numb. The door opened and the Doctor entered, his face solemn.

"Miss Potter " He looked at Pacey, Joey nodded, holding his hand "I am sorry, but it is what we suspected. You have miscarried." Joey dropped her head, resting it against Pacey. He held her rubbing her arm. Tears stung at his eyes briefly before they began to run down his face. "Everything else seems to be fine. I'll have the nurse get your discharge papers ready for you." Joey nodded solemnly.

"I'll, i'll be outside Jo." Pacey said, kissing her forehead. "Then i'll take you home." Joey nodded. Pacey left the room, closing the door behind him. He felt everybody's eyes on him as he wiped his eyes and sniffled. Jen put her arms around him.

"I'm sorry Pace" She said

"Thanks Jen, i'll. I'll take her home once she's changed" Pacey said. Dawson and Jack looked at each other wondering what had happened they had missed. Pacey looked over to Dawson, feeling rage building up in his body. He lunged at him grabbing him by the collar.

"What the hell Pacey, what's your problem?" Dawson yelped as Pacey pushed him against the far wall.

"You are Leery" He sneered "You were supposed to protect them, you were supposed to watch out for them"

"I-I'm sorry Pace. But they're okay. I mean Joey's okay though right?" Dawson stammered. His eyes wide in panic as he noticed Pacey's fist raised threateningly. "Pace?" He asked.

"She's fine Dawson, more or less. But i blame you for what happened. If you just did what you were supposed to do Joey wouldn't have lost..." Pacey moved close to Dawson, his face inches away "She wouldn't have lost our baby" Pacey shoved Dawson away and turned away from him. Joey stood in the doorway, her face pale and her eyes red from crying.

"Can we go Pacey?" She asked him. He nodded and held his arm out to her. He turned to Jack.

"Jack, you coming home?" Jack nodded still a little shocked by what had transpired. Joey held her hand out to Jen, Jen moved forward to take it, they all walked toward the exit leaving Dawson behind.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N Thank you for the follows, truly means a lot to me. Working on more editing, will update with chapter 14 as soon as I have finished writing the next chapter. Please R&R_

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 13

Joey had finally drifted off to sleep in Pacey's bed, Jen sat beside her, still stroking her back. She smiled lightly and leant forward, kissing Joey's temple before silently slipping out of the room. she hoped she would be able to get some sleep. Pacey and Jack stood in the kitchen, beers in their hands. Pacey secretly hoped for something much stronger. Jen entered the kitchen, hoisting herself up onto a stool with a heavy sigh, the nights events heavy on her mind, the guilt weighing heavier. Jack leant forward to place his hand over hers. She looked over to him and smiled.

"I am so sorry Pace...If I -" Her words faltered, looking into his eyes for something to help her to explain the guilt she felt. Pacey simply shook his head and leaned over to kiss the top of her head.

"Jen" He started "Don't please. This is not your fault. It's not Dawson's either." He sighed, knowing if he had not started this whole thing by going around to Vince's none of it would have happened, Joey would not have been hurt. They would not have lost the baby. Tears stung at Pacey's eyes, he wiped them away taking a long drink from his bottle. He sniffled softly. Pacey moved to his usual place before the living room windows where he could lose himself in the vastness of the city. He silently wondered how it had gotten to that point. Where it appeared just a few years ago his biggest concern was getting his driver's permit or getting to school on time. Now, it seemed as though those events were a thousand years ago. too concerned with becoming an adult, not fully aware of the problems that went along with it.

Jen moved to stand beside Pacey, she placed her arm around his lower back. The pain in his eyes tore at her heart, she could feel the burning in her eyes as tears stung at them.

"Pace?" Her tone hushed and solemn. Pacey looked down to her, his features softened; hiding his torture. He gave his friend a smile which showed sadness and exhaustion.

"It's okay Jen. I'll be fine." He said, knowing Jen's concern for him. They had become close friends since junior year. She had been the only person he could confide in about his feelings for Joey. "I mean, I had no idea about this until very recently" He frowned. Jen gently rubbed his back.

"Do you really think it makes a difference?" She asked him. Pacey could only respond in a shrug.

"It's for the best though isn't it?" He asked "I mean Jo has so much ahead of her, to have a child with...we are not even together Jen." Jen nodded.

"True Pace. Joey was happy though, sure you are not together but I know that baby was conceived from love. If this had not happened..." Jen words hung in the air. Pacey sighed heavily.

"I guess we will never know." He finished. Jen frowned, nodding slowly.

Pacey moved into the kitchen, tossing his empty bottle into the trash. Jack sat at the counter, watching Pacey carefully, waiting for something. He wasn't sure what. Besides the outburst at the hospital he noted Pacey had appeared restrained. Jack was not sure exactly what he was waiting for. Was this the lull before the storm?

"So, what's happening with New York?" Jack asked him, trying for topic of conversation to steer away from the current. Pacey chewed on the inside of his cheek in consideration.

"I need to finish up work there." He said "I will head back..." He looked at his watch noting the time to be early morning "Well later on today" He frowned. "I am worried about Joey though"

"Jo was going back to Capeside with Dawson tomorrow. She wanted to get there a few days early to help Bessie." Jen replied. Pacey nodded at her, relieved.

Jack rubbed at his eyes, yawning while standing up to stretch. The hour was late and they had been through a lot. "I am off to bed kids" He said "Night." Pacey gave him a friendly slap on the back, smiling.

"Night Jack"

Jen moved to Pacey, bringing her arms around his waist. Wishing she could do something to take the pain away, although knowing she couldn't. All she could do was hope she could share some of the pain with him so he didn't feel it all. Pacey held her in his arms, grateful for the security she offered him.

Pacey pulled away first, kissed Jen on the forehead before moving away and down the hall to his bedroom.

The city lights filtered through the small gap in the heavy curtains. He could make out Joey's small frame huddled beneath the covers, she looked peaceful in sleep. Pacey quietly replaced his worn jeans with a pair of sleep pants, he unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. Joey shifted slightly in sleep while he settled down beside her. He laid on his back with his hands clasped over his chest. Pacey let out a breath of exhaustion.

"Pace?" Her voice croaked, thick with sadness.

"Yeah Jo?"

"Can you...hold me?" Pacey smiled weakly and rolled onto his side, Joey lifted her head so he could slip his arm beneath it. He pulled her into his chest and held her. Joeys hand found his and laced her fingers with his. She took in a small breath as she felt Pacey's hand move to her stomach.

"Sorry Jo, does it hurt?" He asked her, she sniffled.

"No." She pulled his arm up away from her stomach "It just feels..." She sobbed lightly. "Empty" Pacey closed his eyes, feeling the tears stinging again. He pulled her into him and held her tighter.

Joey had been up for a couple of hours before the rest of the inhabitants had begun stirring. Jack was first to emerge. He greeted Joey with a light kiss on her head and moved to the cupboard to arm himself with boxes of cereal, unsure which to have first. Joey raised an eyebrow at him and smirked.

"You know" She began "Your predilection for breakfast cereals is on par with Pacey's, no wonder you two live together." She smiled, reaching forward to take a handful of sugary cereal from a box. Jack simply grinned at her.

Jen shuffled down the hall, her tired body moving in slow motion.

"Coffee?" She grumbled, pulling her small frame upon the kitchen stool. "I need coffee, Jack you know that i can't get up this early without coffee." Jack rolled his eyes at his best friend. Ever the dramatic woman in the morning.

"Calm down Jen" He finished making the two coffees he had started, handing a mug to Jen.

"Oh, Jack. How unexpected" She grinned. Jack shook his head at her as she smiled at him with exaggerated sweetness. She turned to Joey with a serious expression "How are you feeling?" Joey smiled weakly.

"Not sure, but I know that I will be okay, eventually." Jen nodded, she rested a hand on her friends arm in reassurance.

"As long as you know that I am here for you if you need to talk." Joey nodded gratefully.

Pacey came into the kitchen, his hair still damp from his morning shower.

"Morning Ladies" He grinned, moving towards the cupboards to retrieve a cup for his morning coffee.

"Ladies. What about me?" Jack asked. Pacey's grin became wider and with a hint of mischief.

"Semantics Jack, semantics."

Dawson walked up the path slowly, dormant plants were being strangled by weeds which had begun to grow with commitment. The large brick apartment building was not unlike any other. There did seem to be a sombre atmosphere however. Imaginably not just the cold weather but repercussions of the past day. Dawson pushed through the entrance, making a note of not taking the elevator at Joey's advice. He made his way up the flights of stairs to Pacey and Jacks floor.

He had no idea what to expect on the other side of the door. Pacey had been angry and upset the night before. He had blamed Dawson for what had happened. Dawson knew maybe he should have been there to protect her but he hardly felt it his fault. He had been friends with Pacey for long enough to know Pacey had simply been letting emotions run wild and he didn't believe it either.

Still with this knowledge Dawson stood before the door momentarily with trepidation before knocking. The door swung open, Jack smiled at him. He moved to allow Dawson entrance.

"How are you man?" Jack asked, giving a sidelong glance towards Pacey. Dawson followed his eyes.

"Hey" Dawson looked around the kitchen "Where's Joey?" He asked. Jack jerked his head down the hall.

"Bathroom" He said. "Coffee?" Jack moved to the coffee machine, looking back at Dawson. Dawson nodded, smiling weakly. Jack nodded. Dawson sat himself at the end of the kitchen counter, opposite Pacey who sat staring down into his cup of tepid coffee. Dawson looked at his long time friend.

"How is she?" He asked his tone soft. Pacey looked up and Dawson could not completely read his expression. Sorrow; but something else was there. Regret, guilt? He had no idea, a few years ago he would have known in an instant. Now, sometimes it felt they were strangers. Pacey opened his mouth, hesitated then settled on a shrug. Truth was he didn't truly know what the answer was.

Soft footsteps could be heard down the hallway, Joey emerged pulling her wet hair back into a hair band.

"I am forever amazed at how many changes of clothes I seem to have left here Pace." She smiled, looking at Dawson, noticing him for the first time. "Hey Dawson." She smiled.

"Hey Jo, how are you feeling?" The smile faded. She shrugged, Dawson nodded. "So where is everyone going to be for Christmas?" He asked.

"Not sure about Jen" Jack answered. "But i'm waiting on Andie, we're going to spend it with our Father." Dawson nodded.

"Pacey, you?" Dawson asked.

"Against my better judgement, I will be spending a hellish Christmas with the dysfunctional Witters." He smirked. "Gretch and I will be coming back day before Christmas Eve." He spoke. Joey glanced at the clock on the wall, she turned to Dawson.

"We should get a move on, i still need to get my bags from the dorm." She said, Dawson nodded and drained his cup. "I'll just get my bag" She said before moving down the hall towards Pacey's room. Pacey stood and followed Joey.

He watched her as she retrieved her bag from the floor next to the bed. He stood apprehensively in the doorway, not knowing what to say. If anything at all. She stood with her back to him, feeling her eyes sting with the emotion. She wasn't sure why it hurt so much, why was she in so much pain?

"Jo?" She didn't move, he watched as her shoulders dropped. Pacey moved to her , put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around to face him. "It's going to be okay Joey." She allowed herself to be pulled into an embrace, Pacey held her tight. Hoping to take the hurt from her. She began to cry, holding him as tightly as she could. She held onto him, never wanting to let him go. Her emotions were so raw she wanted to push him away and to never see him again. Looking at him, feeling his body close to her meant one thing; what they had lost.

"You ready Jo?" Dawson's voice sounded down the hall. Pacey released her reluctantly. He leant down and kissed her forehead lightly, a familiar gesture exchanged between them both many times. Tears fell down over her cheeks, she looked up and found tears in Pacey's eyes. The sadness and aching she was feeling could also be seen in his eyes too. She quietly tugged her bag onto her shoulder and silently left the room, leaving Pacey to stand alone with nothing but a heart that had another piece broken.

Pacey was getting ready to leave when the apartment door swung open and Jen came through pulling at a large suitcase. Pacey looked at her in confusion, he tilted his head to the side taking in the amusing sight of the slight blonde dragging her luggage.

"It's happening isn't it?" He asked her. Jen dumped the suitcase down in exaggerated exhaustion.

"What?" She asked him. He pointed to her bag.

"You're moving in aren't you. Jack's finally come to his senses and has switched teams and now you are shacking up with him." Pacey smirked "Can't say as I blame him Jen, if anyone was going to turn a gay man straight my bet would be on you." He grinned. Jen giggled and shook her head.

"Aww nah. I'm going on a road trip" She said, grinning.

"Really with who?"

"You" She laughed "I figure that I should go see my Mother for Christmas." She smiled. Pacey's eyes narrowed at her statement.

"Oh _Really? _You hate your parents_._" He said, confused. Jen simply shrugged as Pacey moved to pick her bag up.

"Yeah well since my parents divorce I find I hate them a lot less" Pacey simply laughed and shook his head.

"God woman!" He exclaimed, hefting the bag up. "What the hell have you in this bag, and how on earth did you get it up the stairs"

"Oh you know, this and that" She spoke off handed. Pacey raised his eyebrows and allowed Jen to move into the corridor so he could lock the apartment.

"Well ok but just so you know, I will not be digging any holes on the way. I will also not be bailing you out or be willing to accept charges of accessory to murder." Jen chuckled as she followed Pacey out into the street to where his car sat.

"You don't mind do you Pace?" Pacey shook his head, truth was he would be happy for the company. Hoping Jen could distract him enough on the long trip back. Pacey gave Jen a genuine grin.

"Not at all Lindley, truth is I could really do with the company and maybe the distraction." Jen smiled at him while he unlocked the car to heave her luggage into it.

Andie pulled up behind them and she and Jack both got out. The siblings were arguing playfully.

"Well I would not have forgotten it if you weren't in such a rush you know" Jack slammed the door, rolling his eyes. He smirked at Jen and Pacey.

"Jack you know how the traffic will be, getting out of Boston is going to be crazy Jack" Andie said with exasperation.

"Ok, i'll be quick, hey can you help me with something Jen?" He asked, Jen narrowed her eyes in confusion at Jack's expression.

"Okay, sure. What's up?" Jack took her arm and led her towards the building's entrance.

Jen followed him up the stairs in silence until they entered the apartment. Jack disappeared into his room to retrieve a bag he had left behind. "So what's on your mind Jack?" Jen asked her friend. Jack frowned.

"I am worried about Pacey." He said. Jen nodded, the thought of how Pacey might be coping was also playing on her mind as well.

"Me too Jack, he seems like he's doing okay but..."

"I know I am waiting for the storm Jen. You know Pacey, he has a habit of bottling it all up inside, until - Senior Prom." Jen nodded, truth was she was expecting the same. She wasn't sure what was to happen. The only thing that seemed a certainty was _when_ and not _if_.

"I am going back with him to New York so I will keep an eye on him, maybe I can get him to talk to me." Jack nodded. He hoped someone would be able to get him to talk. Joey had Dawson but Pacey didn't seem to have anyone else. He knew Jen would be the best person to talk to him about what was happening, especially seeing as she and Joey had become incredibly close.

Andie walked over to where Pacey stood; lost in thought. He jolted in surprise as Andie rested a hand on his arm.

"Sorry, looks like you were a thousand miles away Pacey." She smiled. Pacey smiled back, placing his hand over hers.

"I guess I was." He replied to her.

"How are you?" She was concerned, there was a look in his eye which still seemed too far away from her to reach, his smile began to fade. He shrugged, not really knowing how to answer as he was not sure how he felt. Andie moved close to his to hug him, Pacey wrapped his arms around her. Andie smiled as she rested her face against his chest. Still holding his she looked up to him and spoke, almost a whisper. "You know Pacey, I am always here for you." Pacey looked down at her and smiled warmly, before he had a chance to speak Andie's mouth was firmly over his.

Pacey pulled back in shock.

"What, what was that Andie?" His voice surprised but also laced with annoyance. Andie shifted uneasily beneath his glare. "Well?" He asked after she remained silent. Andie shrugged, not knowing exactly what to say.

"I - I um just wanted to comfort you." She spoke with little conviction in her reasons. Pacey's brows knit in skepticism. He shook his head.

"Andie, comfort would have been the hug" He looked into her eyes. "The tongue down my throat? " He stopped; raising a brow "Not so much."

Andie dropped her head into her hands in mortification. She knew what his reaction was going to be didn't she?

"I know. I am so sorry Pacey"

"Well why did you do it?"

"It's just. Well, lately I have been thinking about you. I know it's wrong and I have Evan but..." Her eyes stung with tears.

"Andie there is nothing between us. Not anymore and there hasn't been for years. I don't know what you're feeling but this" He motioned between the two of them "This can't happen. It won't happen."

"I still love you Pacey." Her voice was barely audible. Pacey frowned, this was not something he was expecting and certainly not something he needed. He shook his head at Andie's expectant look.

"I'm sorry McPhee. I care about you. I do, but I don't love you and this may sound terrible but I haven't thought of you in that way for quite some time." Andie looked away, dejected. Jack and Jen emerged from the apartment building, Jack carried the bag he had forgotten in their haste to leave previously.

"Okay, ready to go?" He asked his sister.

"I was ready to go half an hour ago Jack, get in the car." Andie moved quickly to the car, she quickly looked at Pacey and Jen.

"Have a safe trip" She spoke curtly. Jack gave her a look of confusion, turned to Jen and shrugged as her expression mirrored his.

"I'll call you when I get home" He said.

"Okay, see you guys later" Jen waved and turned with Pacey to his car.

Once settled in the warmth of Pacey's car Jen moved to play with the radio, Pacey looked at her irritated and swatted her hand away.

"Jen, if you are coming with me I will not be listening to your whiny chick rock." Pacey lifted a brow up at her as she opened her mouth to protest. Noting the irritation in his voice she clamped it shut quickly. They sat in silence while the sound of classic rock came through the speakers.


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: Hoping to next the next chapter up in a few more days. Please R & R_

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 14

Winter was a depressing season, barren trees and dying grass. Mud gathered around every path or entrance and the sun never had enough heat.

Joey stood at the end of the dock, staring out onto the creek, she pulled her coat around her tightly. Thick vapour hung in the air from each breath. Footsteps made their way towards her from behind. Joey turned slightly knowing who stood behind her. Dawson smiled at her as he took his place beside her, Joey attempted to match his expression but fell short. Dawson's brows knit with worry. Joey hadn't spoken much on the way back to Capeside, they had only been home for twenty minutes.

Dawson motioned towards the house.

"Bessie left a note, she will be back soon." Joey nodded.

Dawson had no idea what to say to her, if he should try to say anything at all. This was Joey however, his best friend. They were always able to talk candidly with each other in the past. What had changed so dramatically he felt unsure now? They had grown apart, that much was certainly true, by how much?

"Jo, you know that despite the changes we have both been through of late. You can still talk to me." The words Dawson chose had appeared far more confident in his head. Joey simply nodded in acknowledgement. They stood for a beat, not speaking. They simply stared out over the creek, a place which had once offered security in it's familiarity. Dawson thought about leaving, he started to turn when Joey spoke.

"Truth is Dawson; I don't know what to say. I have no idea what I feel or what I am _supposed_ to feel." She turned to look at her friend. Pain and sadness painted across her face. Dawson nodded, as though he knew how she felt. He had no idea, not really. He knew empathy could only get a person so far. Beyond; It was merely guessing and pretending.

"Maybe you could just start with what you do know. Perhaps we can go from there." Joey nodded and turned, they both began to walk back to the warmth of the bed and breakfast.

Joey sat at the kitchen table while Dawson began making coffees.

"I wanted the baby Dawson. I really did." Dawson turned to her and began to speak, Joey held up her hand. "I know Dawson, believe me I know. Not exactly something you would expect to hear from me right?" She smiled weakly. Dawson frowned slightly. she was serious, she truly planned to go through with the pregnancy. Dawson felt relieved she had lost the baby. He berated himself for thinking it but a baby would have ruined her life. She had appeared destined for better and bigger things. Pacey had spent most of his teens going through life as though it had been some joyride, but Dawson had to admit, Pacey was doing well for himself. Dawson knew he didn't tell him enough in the past, he was proud of him. He threw caution to the wind and never danced to anyone elses tune.

"I'm sorry Joey." It was all he could say, telling her how he really felt would cause her pain. Joey sighed, she stared into her coffee. "So what about you and Pacey?" Dawson broached the topic carefully. He had spent too many years pining over Joey, he still loved her but he knew he could never have the love with her she and Pacey had. As much as it killed him to admit it, he had never seen two people more in love than the two of them. A single tear drifted down Joey's cheek. She wiped it away, a small frown flickered across her face. She shook her head.

"I wanted to be with him." She sniffed.

"And now?"

"Now, after what has happened I can't be around him, much less anything else. Being around him, thinking of him only reminds me of what I have lost. What we lost."

Dawson reached across the table for Joey's hand. He held her hand without speaking, allowing the minutes to tick by.

"I think that is probably for the best Joey." He spoke, squeezing her hand gently. Joey looked at him with hurtful eyes.

"What?"

"I mean, could you really see Pacey as the father type?" Dawson laughed lightly. "It's not as though he's the most grown up person there is, he still acts like a bull in a china shop and never cares about anything but himself."

Joey pulled her hand from beneath Dawson's in anger. She looked at him, her eyes burning into his with incredible malice and disbelief.

"You are - "She lost her voice, tears stinging her eyes. "You bastard. I don't know why all these years I wanted to try and repair the friendship between you and Pacey when all this time ..." Joey shook her head at Dawson and stood up, the dining room chair tumbled to the floor in her haste.

"All this time what?" He asked her. Joey leant over the table, her face close to Dawson's.

"You never deserved his friendship. Ever." Joey stepped back, shaking her head at him in disgust. "If there was ever any doubt who the better man was... it's all completely clear now."

"Joey, Jo" Dawson watched as Joey moved out of the kitchen toward her room. "I'm sorry but, you know i'm right Jo. He would have ruined your life. He would have ruined _everything_." Dawson yelled out to Joey's retreating back. Joey stood, motionless in the doorway to her room.

"Get out Dawson. Get out before I say something I will regret." Her voice was low and controlled, not looking behind her. Dawson stood for a few moments without moving. "Dawson. Get. Out" Dawson's eyebrows knit in disbelief. He was right, he knew it and Joey knew it too. Pacey had given her nothing but pain and agony for most of their lives.

_He_ had been the one to pick up the pieces after Pacey had shattered them and tossed them haphazardly with little regard for anyone. How could she still hold him in such high regard. How could she have been so willing to give up on everything, for him?

Did she really think _he_ would have?

Pacey had just dropped Jen off at her mother's and was heading to Gretchen's. He had left the day before without letting her know what had happened. Pacey had refused to take any calls after he had been to the hospital. He found a parking space across for Gretchen's apartment building, locked his car and headed up the stairwell to her floor. Pacey flicked through his keyring searching for the spare key to Gretchen's apartment.

Pacey's hands had begun to shake, he dropped his keys. Pacey took a deep breath before leaning down to retrieve them from the floorboards below him. Pacey had thought he had been okay, the trip with Jen had been fun, joking, laughing and talking. About anything and everything that wasn't Joey.

Now he was alone she was all he could think about. He couldn't see straight, his mind felt clouded. He dropped his keys once more. Pacey let out a growl of defeat and pain as he bent to pick them up again.

The door to Gretchen's apartment swung open.

"Hey freak, forgotten how to open a door?" She grinned at her little brother. Seeing the wretched look on her brother took Gretchen's breath. She instantly saw the look of pain and torture in his eyes. Pacey's face became contorted with overwhelming sadness, tears stung his eyes and he pulled Gretchen to him as he began to sob uncontrollably. Gretchen held Pacey close to her, holding on tightly as his whole body convulsed beneath her arms.

Seeing Pacey like this was frightening for her. Although he was younger than her, she had always felt he was the one who had been her rock and the one she had always looked to for strength, understanding and kindness.

"Pacey?" She whispered, still holding onto him while they stood in the doorway of her apartment. "What happened. Is-is Joey okay?" Pacey sniffled. He slowly pulled away, looking into his sister's eyes. He bit down on his lip to stop it from trembling.

Gretchen eyed her brother carefully as he made his way slowly into the apartment and sat down on the couch.

"Joey was attacked by Vince last night" He said. Gretchen's eyes widened. "How is she?"

"She's okay, physically she's okay. Well I guess. I mean sort of." Pacey couldn't find the words he wanted to say. Gretchen stood watching him. There was something in his face which told her there was more he was not telling her. "She was..." Pacey frowned and looked up at his sister, tears filling his eyes. "She was pregnant Gretch. She lost the baby."

Gretchen looked at him in surprise, finally remembering the conversation she'd had with Pacey when he first came to New York realisation sunk in. She sat down beside him, pulling him into her.

"Shit Pace. Are you okay?"

"She lost _our_ baby." He whispered.

Fay looked on as Pacey busied himself with the lunchtime crowd, with less of a spring in his step and his normally intoxicating grinning and good natured banter with the staff absent. Fay had not spoken to him since he had left abruptly for Boston two nights before. She knew something had happened with Joey but was not sure what exactly, hoping she could talk to him after closing Fay went about collecting empty glasses and delivering meals.

Pacey moved about the kitchen with disinterest, content to do his job and get it done as quickly as he could under the curious eyes of his coworkers. Pacey eyeballed a plate of crispy skinned salmon which had been placed for the wait staff to deliver. He groaned, taking in the meal with distaste.

"Gary, what's this?" He asked the cook, holding up the offending object. "Because our menu has crispy skin salmon on pesto veg." He pushed the plate at Gary in anger "I don't know what the hell _this_ is. Crispy skin, it is not." Pacey shoved the plate into Gary's hands.

"I-I'm sorry Pacey" He stammered

"Just do it again"

Pacey ripped the apron from his waist, ready for his much needed break before cleaning and preparing for the night time dinner. He undid the top few buttons from his jacket, pushing through the kitchen door into the bar area of Equinox.

"Great to see my lessons weren't wasted on my young protégé." Pacey whipped around to face Danny Brecher, standing at the bar, a grin on his face.

"Danny?" He grinned, stepping towards his mentor, pulling him into a manly embrace and slapping him affectionately on the back. "How've you been man?"

"Good Witter. Real good" He grinned, taking a seat on a bar stool nearby. Pacey signalled for his usual bottle of water to the bartender before taking a seat as well. "Never thought I would see you in New York." Danny said, taking a sip from a coffee cup.

"Well it's only temporary, just a month left here after Christmas." Danny nodded knowingly.

"Yeah, I spoke to Doug a few days ago which actually brought me around here."

"Why's that?" Pacey questioned the older man. Danny smiled.

"Well i guess you know about my restaurant in New York City" Pacey nodded.

"Yeah. I have been meaning to get around there, see what the rave was all about. Pretty sure the reason for all hype is highly exaggerated however." Pacey grinned.

"Ha, you jest young man. Civilisation was the biggest up and coming place in Boston and you question my abilities still?" Danny asked laughing. Pacey smiled behind his bottle of water as he took a drink. "Although I would love to sit and reminisce about the past, but as they say; time is money. I need a Sous Chef" He said. Pacey's brow knit in confusion.

"What, you need a recommendation?" Pacey asked.

"No my oblivious friend. You, I want you to fill that position. " Pacey's laughed in disbelief. Was he serious. "You, Pacey Witter are the perfect chef for the job. I really would not consider anyone else."

Pacey shook his head still wondering if his friend were serious. "I don't really think I have enough experience for that kind of responsibility" He said, his voice taking on a more serious tone. Danny shook his head, not accepting what Pacey was saying. "I live in Boston Danny."

"Bigger and better Pacey." He stated simply. Pacey grinned. "What do you say?"

"Um. I don't know Brecher. Do i have to decide right now?"

"No, but soon. You wouldn't need to start until the end of January." Danny stood up and handed him his business card. He finished off his coffee. "Think about it okay?" Pacey nodded.

"Sure, i'll think about it." He smiled, shaking Danny's hand. "It was great to see you Danny"

"Likewise Pacey. Call me" Pacey watched as Danny left the restaurant. Pacey looked down at the card in his hand. Smiling to himself, wondering what he had done to get an amazing opportunity like this. He tapped the glossy black card against his fingers in thought. Maybe it was a sign, a sign he needed to move on with his life. To stop holding on to the past as he had been doing for the past year and a half. To look ahead, to look to the future. Now unlike in high school he felt he finally had one.

Jen sat on the worn couch in the living room of Gretchen's apartment across from Pacey, the morning light streamed through the large windows, heating the room up.

"So what do you think you are going to do. You going to take the job?" She asked him. Pacey too a deep breath, he had no idea. He shrugged at Jen, hoping she could somehow help in his quest for an answer. She had always been the wise sage of the group. Imparting her infinite wisdom on them any chance she had. He had gone to her on numerous occasions when he had felt lost and in need of direction. Jen Lindley had always provided him with clarity.

"I have no idea Jen. What do you think?" Jen eyes widened at his question.

"Er Pace, why are you asking me?"

"Because I respect your opinion." He smiled at her. Jen grinned back at him.

"Well. Of course you do, i am much wiser than most my age. " Jen worried her lip in thought. "Pace, I think you need to decide this on your own. But for what it's worth I think that as you said, this is an amazing opportunity." She frowned. "I would miss you like crazy Pacey but this is a pretty big step forward in your career."

Pacey let out a breath of frustration, he had been awake most of the night before trying to think what he was going to do. All of his thoughts pointed to taking the job Brecher offered had offered him. There was the issue of Jack and the apartment, he knew Jack would easily be able to find someone to move in to help with the rent, he wouldn't be moving for another month so it gave Jack enough time. It was the most obvious choice, career wise he wholly concurred with Jen.

Jen could see the conflict playing across Pacey's face with his decision looming over his head. She new exactly what pulled him away from his decision to move to New York and the reason had a name.

"You can't let Joey influence your decision Pace." She spoke, pulling him from his thoughts. Pacey's eyes widened, ready to argue she had nothing to do with his trepidation. He opened his mouth to protest but, thinking better of it he clamped his lips shut. Jen was right, he had been thinking of Joey. Staying in Boston for Joey.

"I know Jen. You're right." He smiled softly. Jen nodded, knowing she was definitely right. Another thing she knew she was right about was the fact that if Joey had ever found out Pacey had turned down something as amazing as the offer he'd been given for her, she would probably beat the shit out of him. "I'm just not too sure Jen, it's not just Joey either. It's a big thing and I am not sure if I am ready for such responsibility or if I am really..." Pacey sighed, feeling all of his self doubt and insecurities rearing their ugly heads again.

"Pacey, please stop with this. If Brecher didn't think you could do it he never would have asked you. He has a business to run and would only hire those he could trust and those with the abilities to do it. You don't give yourself enough credit."

Pacey leaned back in his chair, his hands clasped behind his head. As much as he didn't want the thought of Joey to come between him and a possible position which would fast track his career exponentially. He would certainly be remiss if he didn't at least consider her in his decision.

"You and Joey have been doing the whole 'will they won't they' dance for months now. Where to now Pace?" Jen asked, Pacey frowned, unsure what the answer was. If he wanted to pursue a relationship with her then his decision to stay in Boston or leave would be made. Things were difficult between them as it was and to add distance would certainly be another hurdle.

Pacey's reply was a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"I can not possibly deny my feelings for her Jen. I just don't know anything beyond the fact that I love her. That I have never stopped loving her and I don't know if I am even capable of living without loving her." Pacey frowned.

"What about her Pace?"

"I don't know, I know she says she loves me Jen but-" Pacey chewed on the inside of his cheek in thought. "But I think she is just falling back onto what is comfortable for her." Jen nodded at him, not sure if she knew anything to the contrary.

"So. With that in mind what are you going to do about Danny's offer?"

"Arrgh" Pacey let his head fall into his hands. Desperately seeking an answer. Something definitive to help in his decision either way. A sign perhaps. The one moment which would help him to choose between his head and his heart. "I don't really know Jen. Could you keep this to yourself though."

Jen eyed Pacey carefully, another secret she had been dragged into without noticing. She sighed in defeat.

"Okay Pace, but I am making a formal complaint. I don't like keeping secrets within our group. It usually turns around to bite me in the ass in one way or another." Pacey laughed knowingly.

"Thank you Jen, I just need some time before I tell anyone yet."

With a curt nod ending their current conversation Jen stood up to leave. "Have fun in Capeside, think of me while you enjoy yourself and I am sitting around putting up with stuffy business men and their stuck up wives."

"Jen, we both know my Christmas will be much like my eighteenth birthday only with more alcohol and an extra couple of years worth of screw-ups thrown back in my face."

Jen laughed and hugged Pacey goodbye.

Pacey knew, in all the years he had actually achieved anything they would always appear foreshadowed by everything he had messed up.


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Another chapter done, will get chapter 16 out very soon. Please R&R._

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 15

Gretchen stood watching Pacey in mild amusement while he stood standing in his bedroom, wearing nothing but a pair of jeans. Phone in hand, he stood looking at the caller id with a look of surprise and disbelief.

"You going to answer that?" She asked him. Pacey glanced at her briefly in confusion before realising his phone was ringing.

"H-Hello?"

"Hey Pacey"

"Um, Audrey. What's up?" To say Pacey was taken by surprise by her sudden call after all these months was an understatement. Pacey wondered why the sudden need for communication from her. She cleared her throat before speaking.

"I-I wanted to see you. Can you meet me at Equinox, in say, twenty minutes?" She asked him, her voice sounding nervous and unsure. "I just need to see you" Her voice almost a whisper.

"I'm not in Boston at the moment Audrey." Pacey tried to leave the emotion out of his voice after hearing hers after so long. He had tried not to think how he would react to her if he ever had the chance to talk or see her again. He didn't think it would be so difficult. Maybe he hurt far more than he thought he was. Maybe he had loved her more than he thought he had been.

"I know Pacey. So. Can you meet me?" Her voice wavered, almost with pleading.

"Um yeah, sure Audrey. I'll be there soon."

"Thank you Pacey"

Gretchen arched her brow at her younger brother in question. His eyebrows knit in uncertainty, not sure why she had wanted to see him. He looked at Gretchen and simply shrugged his shoulders. Pacey finished dressing and packing his bag for their trip back to Capeside for Christmas. Pacey had been stalling all morning, knowing the inevitable moment they were due to leave would be upon him soon. Pacey, figuring they could leave after he met with Audrey.

Pacey noticed the familiar figure standing by the entrance of Equinox, her blonde hair glistening in the morning light. Pacey called to her on his approach. She appeared not to hear him, lost in her thoughts.

"Audrey"

Audrey spun around, a grin plastered on her face at the sight of her ex boyfriend. She pulled him into an embrace and kissed him softly on the cheek. Pacey chuckled before pulling her closer to him. It felt like forever had passed since he had held her. She felt different somehow.

"I missed you Pace." She said, pulled away.

"Me too Audrey." Pacey stood looking her over, his eyebrows knit at the sight of her small but unmistakably rounder abdomen "You're looking swell" He grinned. Audrey chuckled at his joke. She placed a hand over her stomach protectively. "I thought- Well Joey said you were going to..." Pacey faltered, not knowing what to say. Audrey shook her head.

"I was. I just couldn't go through with it." Pacey nodded.

"Weren't you going back home?" He asked. Audrey frowned.

"That didn't exactly go to plan. My parents decided that a twenty year old pregnant daughter would put a black mark on their perfect existence. I am living here now, with my Aunt."

Pacey nodded, not at all surprised.

"Dawson?" He asked. Audrey's face fell, her eyes dropped to the ground below.

"He doesn't know Pacey, I don't want him to know."

"Don't you think he deserves to know though Audrey?"

"No, he doesn't care." Audrey looked to meet Pacey's eyes. "I don't want him to know. I don't want anyone to know Pacey. Please can you not tell anyone?" Pacey was silent for a beat, looking into Audrey's eyes. He could see the hurt behind her sparkling blue irises.

"Okay Audrey, sure I won't tell anyone." Audrey let out a sigh of relief. "But, why me?"

"I guess, I don't know. I was hoping that you would be willing to forgive me. I could really use a friend. Someone who is not going to judge me." She spoke, looking to Pacey hopefully. Pacey smiled down at her.

"Audrey, I forgave you months ago. I'm glad that you called." Audrey let out a sigh of relief. "I need to leave though, Gretchen is waiting in the car."

"You going back to Capeside?"

"Yeah, i'll be back the day after christmas though. We'll catch up when I get back yeah?" Audrey nodded, quickly embracing Pacey. "Take care." He turned to cross the road back to his car, waving at Audrey as he left.

The feeling of unease washed over Pacey at the sight of 'Welcome to Capeside' loomed in the distance ahead. He groaned, feeling fifteen again and caught up in the teenage bubble once more. Gretchen looked to her brother with concern, the drive had been comfortable. She did notice he had avoided talking about Joey, even when he mentioned his job offer from Danny Brecher.

The conversation she had the night before with Jen had kept her on guard.

_"Can you watch out for Pacey, Gretch?" Jen asked. "I'm worried about him, I wish I could be there for him over the next few days but..." Gretchen nodded, she knew her brother. He would act like nothing was wrong. Inevitably making the problem much bigger._

_"Sure Jen, it's okay i know what he's like."_

_"Thank you Gretchen." She spoke, relieved._

Pacey pulled the car into the Witter driveway, sitting momentarily before shutting the engine off.

"You ready for this?" Gretchen smirked. Pacey groaned.

"No, it's not too late to bail Gretch. I doubt they would miss up." Gretchen laughed, pushing the door open and stepping out into the frigid air. Pacey groaned, removing his keys from the ignition and followed Gretchen to the front door. They both took a deep breath before making their way inside.

Pacey was greeted by the familiar sounds of Kerry's kids yelling from the kitchen.

"Hey, you're here!" Kerry grinned pulling Gretchen and Pacey into a rough embrace. Pacey chuckled.

"Hey Kerry, merry christmas." He laughed. "Where's everybody?" He asked.

"Doug and Pop are working, Ma's in the kitchen." Pacey nodded.

"I see the kids have gotten into the candy" Gretchen grinned. Kerry laughed, following them into the kitchen where Mrs Witter stood between two of Kerry's children, holding them apart at arms length.

"Kerry, would you control these children." She groaned in exasperation. Pacey smiled.

"Hey Ma." He stepped forward to hug his mother. Had it been two years since he had spent a Christmas with his family?

"Pacey, well here you are. Finally found your family worthy enough to actually spend a holiday with them." Pacey rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, something like that."

"You've lost weight Gretchen. Haven't you been eating?" It was Gretchen's turn to roll her eyes.

"Yes Mom, I've been eating. Very well might i add. The perks of living with a chef I guess." Pacey grinned.

"Chef?" Their mother looked at them in confusion.

"Yes Chef, Pacey." Gretchen said.

"You live in Boston now?"

"No, Pacey's been staying with me in New York."

"Oh."

The sound of the door slamming cut through the awkward silence which had taken over. Doug moved into the kitchen and put his arms around Gretchen and Pacey's shoulders.

"Well, well. The prodigal children return." Doug joked, with a hint of hurt within his words. Pacey laughed and slapped his brother on the back heartily.

"Merry Christmas Dougie." He grinned, looking at his watch, he pulled his phone from his pocket of his jeans. "I'm just going to call Jo." He murmured, stepping out from his brothers arm and retreating to the front porch.

Pacey dialled the familiar numbers and waited for her to answer. The phone rang out. Pacey decided not to leave a message. He hung up, frowning. Pacey had attempted to call Joey numerous times since he'd returned to New York, he had left a few messages. Joey had not answered any of them. He sighed, thick white vapour hung in the air at each breath. Pacey stamped his feet in the cold and called Jen.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jen." He spoke, dejected.

"Hey Pace, so you made it home in one piece I am assuming"

"Yeah, let's not be too hasty on the 'one piece' scenario yet, Pop's still at work." Jen laughed.

"What's up Pace? Have you spoken to Joey?"

"No, have you?"

"I spoke to her this morning." Pacey frowned. It would seem she was just not talking to _him_ then. "The Leery's are having their annual Christmas Party tomorrow night, are you going?" Pacey sighed. Going to it meant he would see Dawson, he was the last person he wanted to see. After talking to Audrey and being sworn to keep her secret Pacey wondered if he could get through an evening unscathed. It would be easy to ignore Dawson certainly. They were not on the best of terms at any rate.

"I don't know, maybe."

"You need to try and put it all behind you Pacey, this tension between you and Dawson is starting to spill out within the rest of the group. Especially with Joey."

Jen was right, he knew that. Pacey also knew it would take time to get back some semblance of a friendship, even if it were only to the point where they could speak to one another amicably. He would try, for the rest of the group and for Joey. The Christmas party might be the perfect time to 'bury the hatchet' and move forward.

Joey stood at the kitchen sink, staring out over the creek. Steam rose from the water, fogging the window and pushing the beyond into a haze. Bessie sat watching her sister, since Joey had told her about her attack the week before Bessie had been keeping a watchful eye over her. The sound of the phone ringing cut through the silence, pulling the two women out of their thoughts. Bessie stood to answer.

"Hello, Potter B&B" She paused, frowning. Joey looked to her sister who mouthed 'Pacey' to her, Joey shook her head and returned her eyes to the window. "Sorry Pace, Joey just ducked out for a bit. I can tell her you called. Okay bye Pacey." Bessie hung the phone up and turned to her sister, she crossed her arms over her chest. "What's going on Joey?" She asked, trying to hide her annoyance.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I mean, that is the third time Pacey has called. Why are you avoiding his phone calls, what happened between you too?" Bessie arched her brows, waiting for her answer. Joey frowned.

"Nothing. I just don't feel like talking."

"Pfft" Bessie responded, not buying it. "Please Jo, can you just talk to me?" Joey turned to her sister, she looked down at her feet. Joey took a deep breath before moving to the dining table to sit, Bessie moved to sit across from her. Bessie; noticing the hesitation in her sister, moved her hand to place over hers. Joey looked to Bessie with pain in her eyes. She worried her bottom lip, trying to find the words.

"That night, the night Vince attacked me." Joey began, Bessie nodded, urging her sister to continue. Joey took a breath. "I. I had a miscarriage." Joey sat, watching her sister for a response. Bessie sat, her eyes wide, not entirely sure how to process the information. "I wanted the baby Bess. I really wanted the baby." Tears stung at her eyes as she spoke. Bessie moved to Joey's side and pulled her to her feet, she embraced her. Tears stung her eyes as she felt Joey's body begin to shudder with sorrow.

"Oh Jo, i'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me?" She asked her.

"What, and have you mad at me. Disappointed in me for being so careless. We've been through this before remember. I wasn't even pregnant then." Bessie nodded, remembering Joey's pregnancy scare senior year of high school.

"You know that I only want the best for you Jo. Despite everything you could never disappoint me Jo." Joey sniffled. Nodding at her sister's words.

"I just can't stop thinking about it. Talking to Pacey or seeing Pacey only makes it worse. He didn't know about the baby until after I had lost it." Joey pulled away from her sister and moved back to the window. "Everything has changed Bess. I can't stand to be around him at the moment without thinking about what we lost. It hurts so much." Joey turned to look at her "Pacey's the only one I have ever imagined being with and having a family with. Now, everything has come crashing down because I still feel that way and it hurts that I don't want to be with him anymore. I'm scared because I don't want anything to do with the only man that I will ever truly love."

Bessie stood with Joey, looking out over the creek in silence, feeling her heart break for her younger sister. Not knowing what to do or how to soothe her Bessie simply stood, wishing their mother there, she would know what to do.

The hour was late, Pacey sat on the porch looking out over the creek with a beer in his hand. Doug pushed through the back door and moved to his brother.

"You know being almost twenty one is not the same as actually being twenty one. At least not in the eyes of the judicial system" Doug smirked at his little brother. Pacey looked up at Doug and shrugged his shoulders, not in the mood to listen. Doug frowned. Pacey had been despondent ever since his arrival that afternoon.

"What's on your mind little brother?" He spoke softly, knowing the usual character trashing was not the best approach. Pacey sighed taking another drink of his beer. He sat staring out into the night before turning to Doug.

"She had a miscarriage" Doug looked at Pacey perplexed.

"Who did?" He asked.

"Joey."

Doug sat down next to Pacey, opening his own beer. Pacey had spoken to him about the night of Joey's attack, he hadn't mentioned the miscarriage however.

"How is she?" He asked. Pacey simply shook his head, Doug could see the tears in his eyes.

"She refuses to talk to me, she's shut me out. I think she blames me for it. It's my fault she lost our baby." Doug's eyes widened and his brother's words.

"It. The baby was yours?" He asked him, Pacey nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry Pace, how are you doing?"

"I didn't know until I found out she had miscarried. I didn't know because she didn't tell me." He looked at Doug. "She was going to keep the baby and she never told me." Pacey shook his head and finished the last of his beer. Doug clapped a hand on Pacey's shoulder.

"I'm not surprised. I was an asshole to her before i left for New York."

"It'll get better Pacey, she's going through a lot. You need to give her time." Pacey nodded. Doug was right, it didn't stop him from hurting however. He wanted to be there for her. As angry as he felt about it, Pacey knew she at least had Dawson to help her. "So, apart from the obvious, how have you been Pace?"

Pacey smiled, grateful for the change in topic.

"Good. Really good actually, Danny Brecher came to see me." He said, Doug raised a brow.

"Yeah, how is he?"

"He's doing good. His restaurant in the city is getting huge reviews. Which is why he came to see me. He offered me a job" Pacey said. Still feeling stunned by the offer. "Sous Chef, it's a permanent position."

"Wow Pacey, Sous Chef. Really that's - "

"Huge Dougie, it's huge. A big opportunity, something that could really propel my career." Pacey sighed, Doug noticed the torture on his face. Torn between his decision to stay in Boston near Joey or take the job and finally let her go.

"So, what are you going to do?" Doug asked. Pacey shook his head.

"I have decided to leave it up to fate. Not really something I am known for to be honest, it's just such an important decision i am not really sure if I can make."

"Because of Joey?" Pacey shook his head.

"Not just her, she has a big part in why I am torn it's just." Pacey frowned, not sure how to say it. "A lot has changed, if I take the job I leave Boston and all my friends, not just Joey. It means I am out on my own and starting to live my own life." Pacey frowned, Doug nodded knowingly. "I know it sounds a little childish but, here and especially my friends. That's all I know and by going out on my own it means that nothing will ever be the same and I will finally feel pushed into growing up." Pacey laughed, it sounded ridiculous.

"Well little brother, it has to happen some day. Gretchen's in New York, you won't be on your own. I think it's a really great opportunity. You can't keep living your life for others you know." Pacey nodded in acquiescence.

Knowing his brother was right Pacey sat in silence after Doug slapped him on the shoulder to return to the warmth of the Witter household. He frowned, maybe Joey not returning his calls was the sign he was looking for. The knowledge of this clutched at his heart, he couldn't help but wonder there might be some hope, regardless of how slight it felt.


	16. Chapter 16

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 16

Dawson stood leaning against the doorframe watching his mother move about the kitchen, preparing food platter's for the evening. Gail Leery could feel her son's eyes on her.

"You know you could offer to help Dawson" She spoke, her back to him as she prepared the cheese platter. Dawson clenched his jaw, he was feeling angry. How could his mother act like nothing was wrong. Another Christmas his Father was not here to enjoy with them. His Mother didn't care, she moved about as though nothing had happened, as though it were just another day.

"Whatever" He snorted in disgust. Gail spun around to her son, she looked Dawson in the eyes and spoke to him in a warning tone. She knew why he was angry.

"Dawson, if you are going to traipse around the house scowling you can just leave. I can't deal with this." She said, waiting for his response.

"You don't even care" He sneered. Gail's eyes widened in disbelief. "Dad is gone and you are acting like it's just another Christmas, this party is testament to that." He waved his hands about. Gail stepped forward, closing the gap between them.

"I can't keep living the life of the mourning widow Dawson, I have Lily to think about. She needs the normalcy of this. Last Christmas almost broke me Dawson. I can't keep doing it."

Dawson broke eye contact with his mother as Lily came barreling into the kitchen pushing a plastic elephant on wheels into his ankles. The sudden stop jolted her, sending her to the floor on her bottom. She chuckled. Dawson smiled and bent to pick his sister up from the floor. His face softened as he kissed her on the forehead. He looked to his mother.

"Fine Mom. Okay I get it. It just hurts that's all."

"I know it does honey." She rubbed his arm affectionately and took Lily from his arms. "Come on, time for your nap. Dawson could you go to the store for me?"

"Yeah sure, what do you need" Gail nodded over her shoulder.

"The list is on the counter. Thanks honey"

Dawson sighed, pulling his keys out of his pocket and retrieving the list. Dawson was walking out of the door when his phone rang, he took a sharp intake of breath at the recognition of the number.

"Audrey?" Surprised she would call him, it had been before he had moved back to Boston a few months ago he had spoken to her. He was not sure what they had left to discuss. "Why are you calling me?" He asked in irritation.

"I..."

"What is it Audrey, I thought we had discussed all that needed to be."

"You're right, I just wanted to talk to you. To make sure that I had made the right decision." Dawson's brow furrowed, what the hell was she talking about?

"What do you mean. If you want money for the procedure I can send you the money."

"No, no that's taken care of."

"Well what then?" Dawson yanked the car door open in frustration. "Look Audrey, i'm kind of busy."

"Sorry Dawson. Sorry for bothering you, I wont make that mistake again." Audrey hung the phone up. Dawson scowled and rolled his eyes, wishing he had never made the mistake of sleeping with her in the first place. He just hoped everyone could keep their mouths shut about it. The last thing he wanted was for his Mother to find out.

Pacey sat in the kitchen with Gretchen and Doug.

"So, you going to the Leery party tonight?" Pacey asked his siblings. Gretchen's response was a resounding yes.

"You know me Pace, I have always loved the Leery's Christmas parties." Pacey laughed, remembering Gretchen taking over it senior year of high school. He nodded, frowning.

"It's not going to be the same. With Mitch..." Pacey's voice trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence. Gretchen and Doug sat in silence also.

Pacey's phone rang in his pocket, he pulled it out hoping Joey was calling him. He frowned when it wasn't.

"Hey" He spoke.

"Pacey? Hey." Audrey's voice sounded muffled, she sniffled through the phone.

"Are you okay?" He asked her, standing up and retreating into the hallway towards his bedroom. She sounded as though she were crying.

"I. I rang Dawson, I was going to tell him, i felt guilty but..." She sniffled again, taking a breath. "He is such a prick Pacey. He didn't want to talk to me, wanted me to know if I needed the money for the abortion. I told him it was already taken care of."

"I'm sorry Audrey." Pacey said, not knowing what else to say. "I take it, wanting the pregnancy to remain secret still stands then?" He asked.

"Yes, to everyone Pacey. I don't want anyone to know. Talking to Dawson just proves that I made the right decision to keep it from him." Pacey frowned, he wasn't sure Audrey was being all too rational. He knew it wasn't his place to say anything either.

"Okay Audrey, it is your decision." Pacey glanced at his watch. "Audrey, i need to get ready to go out. I'll talk to you soon yeah. I'll be back the day after tomorrow, we'll catch up then okay."

"Okay Pacey. Merry Christmas"

"Merry Christmas Audrey."

Pacey hung the phone up and sighed, he leant his forehead against the door frame. He hated having agreed to keep Audrey's secret, nothing good ever came from keeping secrets. Pacey sighed, he moved to his bag to find a set of clean clothes. Although attending the festivities and the Leery residence was the last place he truly wanted to be, he knew Joey would be there and he desperately wanted to see her. Pacey made his way to the bathroom before Gretchen claimed it and then he would not get in for a shower for hours.

Showered and changed, Pacey made his way into the Witter living room, Gretchen sat with a coffee reading a magazine.

"I'm leaving now, you ready?" He asked her. Gretchen looked up at Pacey and shook her head.

"I still need to take a shower, you go. I'll get a lift with Doug."

"You sure, I can wait." Pacey said. Gretchen shook her head.

"No it's fine, not sure how long i'll be." She smiled, Pacey smirked knowingly. If he had to guess it would be at least another forty-five minutes.

"Okay, see you there then Gretch." Pacey grabbed his jacket from the rack by the front door and headed out. Gretchen glanced over her shoulder, making sure Pacey had left. She stood and made her way into the kitchen to where Doug stood, hunched over the counter reading an article in the paper.

"Hey Doug, you spoken to Pacey lately?" She asked him. Doug looked up, noting the look of seriousness on his sister's face. He frowned, standing up and nodded.

"Yes, we talked for a while last night." Gretchen nodded, glad Pacey had told their older brother.

"I'm worried Doug, Jen is too."

"Why is that Gretchen?" Doug dragged a stool out to sit on. He eyed Gretchen carefully.

"I just don't think he's doing so well." She replied.

John Witter stood in the living room out of sight, listening to the conversation between his two children with interest. They spoke softly but not softly enough they could not be heard by their father.

"Doug, you know Pacey. He holds everything in until it gets too much and he just explodes. Look at what happened Senior year. I was there at prom and he was a mess Doug. Self destruct mode. You remember, you had to arrest him that year too remember." Doug nodded, remembering it well. "And now, with Joey losing their baby. I mean I know it was unexpected but he's such a sweet guy and he tends to blame himself for things that are out of his control."

"I know Gretchen, I have spoken to him about it, well a little. We spoke mostly about his job offer from Danny." Gretchen nodded. "As far as the miscarriage, I am not sure if Pacey quite knows what to think or feel."

"Well I know jen is worried, and Jack also."

"We'll just have to keep an eye on him for a while. I don't think it's helping that Joey isn't talking to him either."

John grimaced, moved to the front door quietly before opening and shutting it loudly. He moved into the kitchen, greeting his children as though he had just come home from his shift. Gretchen quickly moved to the bathroom to get ready for the party.

Joey lifted a platter from the counter and placed it on the table for the guests, shifting a candle to make room. The house filled with light conversation and laughter. Gail slipped an arm across her shoulders and squeezed her arm with affection.

"How are you Joey?" She asked the young woman she had always regarded as a surrogate daughter. Joey nodded, looking down at the candle, glowing in the dim light. She nodded her head, tucking a stray tendril of hair behind her ear.

"I'm fine Gail." She turned to look at her, smiling weakly.

"I'm here if you need to talk honey." The look of sympathy was unmistakable. Joey swallowed the lump forming in her throat, wishing Dawson had not told his mother about the miscarriage.

"Thank you. I'm doing okay." Joey deadpanned, not wanting to get into the conversation with her, especially not in the middle of the celebrations. Gail smiled warmly, squeezed her arm again before moving off into the kitchen. Joey let out a breath, steadying her breathing to try to hold back the tears stinging at her eyes.

Dawson watched as Joey moved into the living room, leaning up against the door frame, lost in thought. He smiled, making his way over to her.

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked her, standing next to Joey, leaning against the other side of the entrance. Joey smiled, his voice pulling her from her thoughts. She nodded.

"Yes, it's been a great night." Joey noted the expression of loss on Dawson's face. "It will get better Dawson, I always hurts around the holidays. It does get better though." Dawson looked to Joey and gave her a smile of appreciation for her words. He hoped it would, the pain of spending this time with his family without his father was almost overbearing. He reached out his hand to Joey, she smiled and took it happily. A soft chuckle passed through his lips, Joey looked at him in confusion before following his line of sight above them. A sprig of mistletoe hung above them. Joey shook her head laughing. Dawson smiled and pulled Joey to him.

"It's tradition after all." He stated.

Pacey pulled Gail into an embrace as he made his way into the Leery residence.

"Pacey, it's great to see you. How have you been?" She asked him. Pacey nodded.

"Keeping busy Gail, you look great." He grinned. "How's Lily?" He asked.

"Ever the charmer Pacey." Gail laughed. "Lily is wonderful, growing up. Too fast. Well it's great to see you Pacey." Gail tilted up, kissing Pacey on the cheek.

"You too." Pacey spoke, taking in the scene unfolding under the mistletoe behind Mrs Leery. He watched, unmoving as he watched Joey and Dawson share a holiday kiss.

It shouldn't matter to him, maybe it didn't. Maybe the kiss meant nothing to him, he wondered if that was the problem. Was he finally at the point in his life where it no longer meant anything. No pain or anger. No regret or jealousy either. He still loved Joey, he knew it was at least true. Why didn't he feel anything else?

Pacey turned, deciding to leave. He needed to think and standing in a crowded room was not going to help.

Dawson pulled away from Joey, laughing. A familiar figure moved towards the door in his periphery. Joey looked at Dawson strangely as he moved away from her towards the door, having not seen Pacey leave. Dawson began weaving his way through the guests, following Pacey out of the door. Dawson watched as Pacey ambled down towards the dock.

Pacey stood at the end of the Leery's dock, looking out over the creek, christmas lights twinkled upon the surface in a patchwork of colour. He heard the sound of footsteps moving toward him.

"Hey Pace." Dawson's voice sounded distant, he moved towards his friend in apprehension.

"Hey Dawson, Merry Christmas." He said, not looking away from the water. Dawson took a breath, wondering how this was going to play out between them. It was a friendly kiss after all, spurred on only by custom.

"You too man." He began. "Um, Joey's inside." He said, pretending he hadn't known Pacey had witnessed the mistletoe kiss. Pacey finally turned to Dawson.

"It's okay Dawson. I'm not upset." Dawson sighed in relief. He stepped forward to stand next to Pacey. "I would like the think we have grown beyond the teen angst of senior year Dawson. I have enough to worry about without worrying over the possible repercussions of a holiday kiss." Dawson nodded knowingly, moving to lean over the railing of the dock. They stood in silence as they regarded the setting before them.

"I am sorry about everything, with Audrey." Dawson spoke, not having the opportunity to speak to him privately until then. Pacey took a deep breath and let it out before speaking. Pace shook his head.

"Don't be Dawson, I have already forgiven you and Audrey for it. I think it was my fault too." Dawson's eyes knit in confusion. Pacey smiled at his bewilderment. "I don't think I loved her enough Dawson, she knew that. She knew that I was still in love with Joey, to be honest we really should have ended it well before we did." Dawson nodded.

"What about Joey now?" Dawson asked him. Pacey sighed.

"I still love her Dawson. I don't think I will ever stop loving her. I moved to Boston last year knowing that I couldn't be away from her despite us not being together. When I left after graduation I was determined to live life on my own for awhile." He turned to Dawson. "I got three months and that was all I could take, it felt as though my life began when Joey decided to love me back. Don't get me wrong, I know I completely fucked it up. That's on me; I know that." Pacey pushed himself away from the wooden railing and turned to lean against it, he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Maybe it's a blessing in disguise though?" Pacey looked at Dawson in disbelief.

"What was?" He asked him. Dawson shifted uncomfortably, any way he said it, Pacey would take it the wrong way.

"Joey, the baby." He stated. Pacey's jaw set, his body stiffened.

"A blessing in disguise? You mean to say that Joey being attacked and having a miscarriage, the pain she's in is a _blessing_?" Dawson could see the anger flicker in Pacey's eyes at his comment. Dawson held his hands up in defense.

"Whoa, no I didn't mean it like that."

"Well what _did_ you mean?"

"I just meant. Well you and I both know that Joey is smart and she's destined for great things. A baby would just. Well, ruin it all."

Pacey began to move up the dock in anger, throwing his arms in the air.

"Of course Dawson. I get it, you are only making sure that she fulfills the destiny you wrote for her. Make sure the money you invested doesn't go to waste right?" Dawson shook his head, completely not what he meant, was it? He knew Joey being weighted down by a baby would have quashed any chance of her graduating college and having any kind of future.

"That's not it and you know it Pacey."

"I don't know Dawson. What I know is that Joey is her own person, when she decided to go through with the pregnancy it was because she had thought about it. She is determined and strong. She would never have done it if she couldn't make it work. Besides, she would have known that she had me."

Dawson shook his head in growing aggravation.

"That's my point Pacey. Whenever you're around she ..." Dawson's voice trailed of.

"She what?"

"She loses herself, she stops thinking rationally."

"Fuck you Dawson." Pacey said, he moved to walk towards his car, over the freshly fallen snow. He stopped and turned to Dawson. "I know what this is about Dawson. You just can't get past it can you. Tell me, if Joey was pregnant with your baby would you have felt the same?" Pacey pointed to Dawson. "No. I know it's only because she was going to have my baby, that is what has you so pissed. That yet another string you had attached to her would have been severed."

"You are really reaching Pacey, you have no idea." Dawson spat. "I would have felt the same way. There's no way I would have been happy to become a father." Pacey shook his head, turning to walk towards his car.

"I guess that's the difference between you and I Dawson." Pacey stilled his steps to look at his friend. "Given the chance I would have been happy with being a father. I would have also moved heaven and earth to make sure Joey would have finished college and been successful."

"Yeah well, you never really had very high aspirations though Pacey." Dawson sneered. Pacey, grinned at Dawson and shook his head. Wondering to himself why he ever felt insecure around Dawson. It was in that moment Pacey could see just how truly pathetic Dawson really was.

"Don't you dare pretend to know me Dawson, you know nothing about my life or who I am anymore." Pacey pulled his car keys from his pocket. "It's this conversation that has actually helped me tonight, with a decision I have been wrestling with, so thank you Dawson Leery."

"What do you mean?" Dawson asked him. Pacey opened the drivers side door and leant over it. He gesticulated around him. To the creek, the dock and the house behind him.

"All of this Dawson, I was under the assumption that we had grown enough to move beyond all of the shit of our past. Maybe we can. But all of this" He said "And this" He gestured between himself and Dawson. "I don't need anymore Leery. I am done with it, with everything. I am moving on."

Pacey threw himself into the seat and slammed the door. He started the engine and backed out of the driveway. He watched Dawson disappearing from view in the rearview mirror as he drove away from the Leery's house. Away from a chapter in his life where he had always felt as though he'd fallen short of everything and everyone.


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N A few more chapters to go, I have already started on the sequel to this: A Fork In The Road please R&R and I will update this regularly._

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 17

Joey pulled the covers over her head in protest, she felt the weight of her four year old nephew; Alexander as he tried desperately to rip the blankets from her. He sat on her chest, his face nuzzling hers while he pulled the covers away. Joey tried to be stern with him, the soft warmth of his breath on her cheek and his wide eyed innocence caused her to grin back at his excited demeanor.

"Merry Christmas baby" She cooed. He giggled.

"C'mon Aunty Jo-Jo. Santa came. Get uuuuuppppp Jo-Jo." He groaned, placing his chubby hands either side of her face, pulling her head up from the pillow. Joey removed her hands from beneath the warmth of her blankets and wrapped them around Alex.

"Aww no, it's nice in bed." She laughed, pulling him under the covers against her, snuggling her face into his mop of dark unruly curls. Alex wriggled beneath her arms in an attempt to free himself from her clutches. He slipped from the mattress and placed his little feet on the carpet beneath him. He reached over to tug at Joeys hand.

"Jo-Jo." He pouted at his Aunt. Unable to resist, Joey smiled and groaned while she threw the covers back and followed the smug little boy into the kitchen. Bessie sat at the table nursing a coffee, her brow arched at Joey as she made her way to the coffee pot.

"You are lucky that Alex waited until after sunrise to wake you." Bessie groaned. Joey grinned at her sister and bent over to kiss her softly on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas Bess." She smiled. Joey turned toward the stove an Bodie while he cooked blueberry pancakes. Joey slipped her arm around his waist and kissed him on the cheek. "Merry Christmas Bodie." She grinned.

"Same to you Jo." He smiled, handing her a pancake stacked plate.

Joey sat and watched in silent contentment as Alex jumped about the living room in a tornado of pent up excitement. He ripped through his brightly coloured foil wrapped gifts. Squealing with delight at the toys Santa had brought.

Mid morning arrived before Joey finally decided to shower and dress for the remaining day. She had thought seriously about staying in the warmth of her pyjamas all day. Soft snowflakes floated to the earth, spreading a new layer of snow across the ground. Joey stood on the porch, watching as everything around her hid in silence beneath the blanket of frozen white.

Joey's thoughts drifted to the night before, she was relieved Pacey had not made it to the Leery's Christmas party, she was not ready to talk to him yet. Joey shivered and pulled her coat around her tighter as a breeze picked up, sighing Joey turned and walked back into the house to warm herself by the fire.

Pacey had spent a good portion after Christmas lunch in the backyard splitting wood for the fire. Mostly so he could avoid Christmas and his family. It seemed as though nothing had really changed over the last few years. Christmas would always be a reminder of the person he was, the person who failed to live up to his parents expectations. Although looking back now he still had no idea what his parents expected. Truth was, now he simply didn't care. Now, determined to live for himself and not worry about anything or anyone else.

Once Pacey had packed the firewood by the back door neatly , he made his way inside. The warmth of the kitchen caused him to strip his jacket from his body almost immediately. Gretchen and Doug sat in the living room deep in conversation, Kerry stood in the kitchen arguing with Mrs Witter.

"No, I really think it's too early Ma." She argued. Her children squealed while running off the latest stomach full of christmas candy. Their voices increasing in decibel as they tore through the house with abandon.

"Look Kerry, I have been cooking christmas dinner for years, I don't need you breathing down my neck with your silly notions." Marg Witter said in aggravation. Kerry rolled her eyes and turned to Gretchen with pleading eyes and she walked into the kitchen. Pacey smirked, opening the refrigerator to look for the carton of juice. Gretchen caught his eye, raising her eyebrow to him.

"You going to weigh in on this Pacey?" She asked him. Pacey grinned as he gulped down the cool liquid straight from the carton.

"Why, what wrong?" He asked. Kerry groaned.

"Pacey, Ma's putting the chicken on now." She said, exasperated. Pacey raided his eyebrows and glanced at the clock on the far wall.

"Kerry's right Ma, too early to put it on. It's only one o'clock. I mean unless you want to serve dehydrated chicken i guess ..."

"What?" Marg snorted "I really think that i know a little bit more than a dishwasher Pacey."

"What?" He asked her incredulously. "Is that what you think I do?" He asked her. Truth was he wasn't surprised at all. Marg Witter never expected her youngest son to have achieved anything more than a dishwasher or a dog groomer.

"Well, you work in a restaurant Pacey." She stated. Pacey laughed.

"Yeah Ma, as a Chef, not a dishwasher but how could I possibly expect you to know the difference." He bit back harshly. John Witter walked into the kitchen and looked to Pacey, a beer in his hand. Pacey surmised was possibly the seventeenth beer for the day, so far.

"Show your mother some respect Pacey." Pacey shook his head in disbelief as he capped the juice and placed it back in the fridge.

"You know, why not Ma, great idea. Put the meat in now. Being the lowly dishwasher that _I_ am, what would I know." Pacey glared at his father as he moved off to his room to retrieve clean clothes, intent on taking a shower and hopefully going to see Joey for Christmas. He knew he had been holding off seeing her. The time spent apart had been playing on his mind the past week. The idea now seemed to be more and more difficult to approach. He had to leave for New York early the next morning so he could get back to work in time.

Pacey emerged from the bathroom feeling much better, hair combed and freshly shaven. He pulled the gift from his bag he had purchased Joey, hoping it would not upset her and placing it in the pocket of his jacket. He picked his keys up from the dresser and closed the front door behind him, walking into the frozen world beyond the dysfunctional Witter residence, an uneasy feeling washed over him as he settled into the drivers seat. Wondering if the unease was from the prospect of seeing Joey or if it would be the inevitability of a showdown with his drunken Father later that night; the typical longstanding event.

Pacey took a deep breath before starting the engine and making his way to the Potter B & B.

The falling snow had increased, making visibility difficult. Pacey moved his car along the familiar streets of Capeside with caution. Pacey parked the car in the yard of the B & B. He sat, unable to coax his body to move from the vehicle. He closed his eyes and leant against the head rest. Hoping he would gain the courage to say what he came to say Pacey finally shut the engine off and made his way to the door. Hesitating momentarily before knocking, he stood waiting. His anxiety became almost too overwhelming. Having flashbacks to Junior year of high school. He remembered the same feeling after his acidic monologue in the Capeside police station after an eventful valentines party.

He stood on the very same porch.

Waiting to see the very same girl.

The door swung open and he was greeted by the older Potter sister, she grinned at him and pulled him into a warm embrace.

"Merry Christmas Bess" He grinned. Bessie ushered him inside out of the cold.

"Merry Christmas Pace, I was wondering if you would make it over here. How long have you been in town?" She asked him. Pacey searched his surroundings, catching sight of Joey as she emerged from the hallway.

"Err, not long. I head back tomorrow." His eyes never left Joey's as he spoke. Bessie allowed her eyes to follow to where Pacey's rested. "Hey Jo." He said.

"Hey." She spoke, her hand lifting to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Joey moved towards Pacey slowly with apprehension. Pacey wondered to himself how they got to the point where they no longer felt comfortable in one anothers company, where the tension between them was almost tangible it could be cut with a knife.

"Can we talk Joey?" He asked her. She nodded, without a word she gestured toward the porch. Pacey helped her with her coat and followed her into the cold outside.

They stood in awkward silence, Pacey glanced at Joey. She stood looking out over to the creek with an expression Pacey could not read. Deciding standing there without speaking was certainly the opposite of what he had came to do, Pacey finally cleared his throat. He had no idea what he was going to say. He just hoped his brain would kick into gear once he opened his mouth.

"I know you hate me Jo." He began, stealing a glance at her to try and gauge her reaction. She winced at his statement. "I haven't handled any of this the way I should have. I know all of this is my fault." Joey turned to him, she opened her mouth to speak, Pacey held up his hand to still her. "Hold on, let me get this out. I have made mistakes Jo, a lot of mistakes and I can't change that. Most of them I don't really think I would want to. That's for many reasons, either they were insignificant enough that they really didn't change anything in my life or; they did. That they have contributed to me being the person that I currently am." Pacey took a breath and turned to Joey. "But the one thing I would change would be you, mostly how I treated you. You have always deserved more, more than you got and a hell of a lot more that what I ever gave you. I am sorry for that."

Joey's voice sounded hoarse and heavy with emotion. Her eyes stung with tears.

"Pacey, this is not your fault. I don't blame you for any of it." She said.

"Then why the silent treatment Joey?"

"I can't see you or talk to you without thinking about what I lost. What we lost. I know it's not something you would have been happy about but Pacey, I wanted the baby. Sure it was unexpected and the last thing I thought I would want but I really wanted the baby. Maybe if I didn't this would be a lot easier to deal with. I don't know. I never thought it would hurt this much."

"Honestly Jo, I would have liked that, to be a family, a father. I would have been there for you. I think that's the problem." Joey looked at him in confusion. "Maybe Dawson was right, maybe I really am no good for you." Joey shook her head.

"Pacey, you know that's not true. I know now it seems as though there is a dark cloud over us but it's not forever. We can get past this and -" Joey's words faltered at Pacey's shaking head. Tears began to topple from her eyes.

"I am just wondering that if i. If i stop believing in us does that then mean that we cease to exist. Because it hurts too much Jo. The thought that I could have been the reason you could have thrown so much away, everything you have worked for."

Joey shook her head. "Pacey, no. That's not true."

"Joey. I have to do this." He said. Joey narrowed her eyes.

"Do what?"

"Let you go. I have to finally let you go. It's the only thing I can do for you." Joey stood, her teeth biting down on her bottom lip to stop it trembling. Pacey sniffed, trying to hold back his emotions. He pulled the gift from his pocket and handed it to Joey. He leant into her and kissed her lips softly before moving away.

"Merry Christmas" He smiled. Joey wiped the hot tears from her cheeks.

"Merry Christmas Pacey" She replied in a voice almost a whisper. Pacey moved down the stairs toward his car. He stopped and turned around to look directly into her eyes.

"Good Bye Potter."

Joey watched as Pacey got into his car and backed out, leaving her behind, alone on the porch. Joey clutched at the small gift in her hands and collapsed to the cold floor beneath her, sobbing. She allowed her body to become overwhelmed with loss. Bessie crouched down beside her distraught sister, holding her as she cried.

It was late once Pacey had made his way back home to the Witter's, he pushed through the front door solemnly, closing the door behind him with more force than necessary. Dinner had been over for a few hours, Pacey thankful he had missed it.

"Where the hell have you been?" John called gruffly from his chair in front of the television.

"I went for a drive" Pacey spoke.

"Well you could have had the decency to make it back in time for dinner." John stood up to meet his son in the kitchen. Pacey was not in the mood for the diatribe this year, he was not up for another year of being Sheriff Witter's punching bag.

"Hey Pace, you okay?" Gretchen asked her brother from her seat next to Doug at the kitchen counter.

"What the hell it wrong with you?" John asked, his voice rising in volume. Pacey could feel the anger rise in him, he didn't need this.

"Just let it go Pop." He warned.

"The hell I will, while you are under my roof you with show your mother and me some respect."

Pacey groaned inwardly, feeling sixteen again. John looked over his youngest with a look of disdain. Where had he gone wrong, what had he done to deserve such an insubordinate young man for a son.

"You listen to me son" He said, his voice low and rasping, laced with irritation which threatened to cross into anger. Pacey's eyes whipped to his father's at the tone is his voice.

"Or what Pop?" Pacey sneered at his father, equalling the anger. Pacey took a stance of defiance, folding his arms across his chest, issuing an unspoken challenge. John took a drink of his beer, laughing wryly at his son.

"You know I am not doing this Pop. Not now and preferably not ever." He stated. John simply shook his head.

"I have put up with a lot of your shit Pacey, a lot."

"You know I am sorry, I am sorry that my mere existence has been something that you simply have to _put up_ with." Pacey stood in the middle of the kitchen, Gretchen sat without speaking, not knowing if she should intervene. This was nothing new, Pacey and his father had butt heads on numerous occasions. Doug sat, engrossed in the bottom of his coffee cup.

" Well if you had tried to put in a little more effort, you may have actually gotten somewhere in life."

"What? You really are a myopic bastard aren't you. Never could see beyond your own nose. I have made something of myself and because it simply doesn't meet your perfect ideal of what it's supposed to be you just see it as a failure. I have a good job, something I enjoy. Something I am good at and something I know others may even be proud of me because of. But not you eh? It will never be you that is proud." Pacey spat, his anger bubbling inside the pit of his belly, threatening to burst forth.

"Proud, yeah I am proud of Pacey; the screw up who can't do anything worthwhile without messing it all up eventually. Including Joey Potter eh?"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"I know all about you knocking her up. Pity, I like Joey, now you have just messed her life up haven't you now?" Pacey could see the glint in his father's eye, knowing he could say the one thing to drive his son over the edge. "I guess it's a good thing she lost the baby though, no one would wish you to ever be a father, you barely look after yourself."

It only took two large steps for Pacey to close the gap between himself and his father. Swiftly and with precision Pacey's fist made contact with his father's lip. His beer flew from his grip wile his body landed on the faded linoleum floor.

Doug was up from his stool in seconds and at his father's side who lay spread eagle on the floor of the kitchen. His lips split and bleeding, John pushed his eldest son off him in irritation, getting to his feet unaided.

He was not surprised, Pacey had hit him before. Incidentally it had been over a girl then too. Pacey kept his stance of defense, expecting his father to hit him back. He didn't move however. Doug looked on helplessly, hoping it would not get any worse.

"How about we all just calm down here" Doug suggested, wanting to diffuse the situation. Pacey shook his head.

"You know, as much as you have little opinion of me I have even less of one for you. You were never the father you have deluded yourself into thinking you are. Maybe I wouldn't have been the best father either but I know I would have made a damn better than you. Despite what you think, after everything I have had to put up with you in my life I am finally happy with who I am. It is in spite of you that I am who i am and it is certainly far removed from who you purport yourself to be." Pacey moved toward the hall and into his bedroom. He hastily grabbed his belongings and walked out to the front door. His father stood in the kitchen not having moved from where he stood. Pacey turned to him.

"I will never be like you, all you are is an arrogant and abusive bastard. I have more aspirations than becoming anything like the functioning alcoholic that you are."

Pacey opened the door and closed it firmly behind him, walking to his car. Aware of the front door opening behind him he heard his father yell out to him into the night.

"Don't ever set foot into my house again" He roared. Pacey's movements stilled.

"Don't worry Pop, I don't plan on it." He tossed back over his shoulder.

The argument played over in his head as he drove, heading towards Boston where he decided to pick up the rest of his clothing and personal items. He figured he would leave the rest of his furniture for Jack or possibly have Doug pick it up to store for him. Pacey felt relieved, finally feeling unburdened by the events in his life.

Now, he could look forward instead of waiting for events from his past to rear their ugly heads up at him.

The snow lay untouched as Pacey moved forward, needing to get as much distance between him and his past as he could. While he knew he could never fully escape it he knew he could try to not let define him or his future.

As much as it killed him to say goodbye to Joey he knew it was the only way to be able to move forward and for her to as well. He could not be around her and live with the guilt. She didn't blame him but it didn't make any difference to him, the damage was already done.

He loved Joey more than life itself but he knew it wasn't enough.

The compacted ice on the road made steering hazardous for the most attentive of drivers, much less a man distracted with the aftermath of his recent decisions regarding the rest of his life. In mere seconds where concentration lacked, in those seconds the tyres drifted, sliding dangerously towards the edge of the road.

Not thinking, Pacey turned the wheel in an attempt to correct his direction.

The steering locked, throwing the car into a dangerous spin. Out of control the car spun towards a deep embankment. Pacey could feel the panic rise inside him. Unable to do anything except wait for impact.

The car careened off the road hurtling down into the abyss filled with rocks and water of the creek as it made it's way into Capeside.

The sound of crushing metal and shattering glass drifted into the thick icy cold of the night. The single haunting sound of the horn blared through the commotion.


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: Just 1 more chapter after this then the epilogue. Currently have the 1st chapter of the sequel almost finished. Please R&R_

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 18

Joey spent the rest of the evening and most of the early hours of the following morning pouring her heart out to Jen over the phone. She sat in her room beneath her covers. She had shed enough tears over her conversation.

"He said goodbye Jen. Not bye, see ya or i'll catch you 'round. No Jen, he said _Good bye_." Joey sniffled, blowing her nose noisily into the phone.

"It' does mean anything Jo." Jen said, trying to give her friend hope. She knew better, convinced Pacey had decided to take Danny's job offer in New York City. She silently cursed him for asking her to keep the secret. Damn him, how many secrets did she have to keep?

"It felt pretty final Jen." Joey frowned. "I really messed up huh?" Joey asked, not sure if she wanted her to answer. She already knew. "I just really needed time to deal with it all, without Pacey. But now it's all messed up, he thinks I blame him, how could i?"

"Oh Jo, you know Pacey. He's the ever elusive sweetheart, heart of gold Joey. Far too sensitive for his own good, especially when it comes to matters of the heart." She sighed. "I think it's something he has to stop blaming himself for before he accepts that others don't."

Joey let out a breath of exhaustion as she threw herself back onto her bed, feeling something digging into the small of her back. Reaching beneath her she found her finders wrap around the small gift Pacey had given her, still yet to be unwrapped. Joey laid it in her lap.

"He gave me a gift" She stated.

"Really, what did her get you."

"I don't know. I haven't opened it." Joey frowned, staring down at the delicately wrapped gift in silver paper with a deep green bow adorning it. Tucked within the ribbon a small crisp white envelope sat. "Should I open it?" Joey asked with apprehension while she fingered the satin bow.

"Are you silly, of course."

Joey pulled the envelope out and opened it, worrying her lower lip. She pulled a card out and opened it to reveal Pacey's hastily scrawled writing.

_Joey,_

_I am sorry I can't be that person you need me to be._

_I hope that it doesn't upset you, we need to remember all the happiness_

_even if it eventuated into sadness._

_Maybe one day you will be able to talk to me about this, it hurts me too._

_Until then_

_All my Love,_

_Pacey._

Joey sat, her fingers tracing the words before her. Moments had passed without recognition until Jen's tired voice uttered into her ear.

"Jo, Jo you okay?"

"Um. Yeah Jen. I'd better let you go, it's almost three o'clock Jen." Jen yawned in response.

Joey said her goodbyes to her friend before hanging the phone up. Joey sat in the silent morning staring down at the card from Pacey. The present for her still unwrapped in her lap. Joey unable to decide whether to open it picked it up and placed it on the nightstand. Switching off her lamp Joey lay awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling until she finally relented and drifted off to sleep.

The shrill ringing of the telephone let itself be heard through the quiet stillness of the early morning. Doug groaned, swatting for the alarm clock in his haze of semi consciousness. The phone continued to ring, even after the clock went hurtling threw the air to land against the closet on the far side of the room.

Doug sat up in bed, groaning at the realisation. Leaving the warmth of his bed Doug slowly trudged into the living room.

"Yeah?" His voice gravelly from sleep. Doug raked a hand through his short hair, waiting for the voice on the other end.

"Deputy Witter?" It was the voice of Chris Tydes; the night Deputy.

"Yeah, Chris. What's up?" He asked, still groggy.

"Um - D-Doug there's been an accident. A car accident, about twenty miles out on Heston Drive. The car's registered to Pacey Witter." Doug could feel the colour as it drained from his body. His voice became lodged in his throat, barely able to form a coherent sentence Doug choked out.

"What...where, what?" Nothing was coming out the way he wanted to.

"He's been taken to Boston General Doug, I don't know the extent of his injuries. They found him about forty minutes ago. I just got the call fr-"

Doug was able to finally kick himself into gear and move, he slammed the phone down in it's cradle in haste as he ran to his closet to dress. Doug fumbled with his keys and ran from his apartment locking the door behind him.

Despite needing to get to the hospital as soon as he could, Doug drove with care, knowing how dangerous the roads were. He slowed the car down as he came upon flashing light of police cars. A tow truck had begun to pull onto the road, heading back toward Capeside. Doug could feel the bile rising as he took in the sight of Pacey's red Ford. The front left side caved in, broken glass still being shaken loose from their precarious position in the sills.

Was Pacey still alive? Doug asked himself, he hadn't doubted it when he left. Now, seeing the mass of tortured metal, glass and shredded upholstery Doug's resolve now faltered. How could someone survive such a mess?

Doug continued along the highway to Boston, needing to get there as soon as was humanly possible and yet terrified of what he might find once he did.

Doug threw himself through the doors of emergency, his eyes wild. He searched around the floor for someone who could help him, anyone. He ventured down a short hallway to a trauma room, doctors and nursing staff moved about in perfect synchronisation. Doug couldn't see between the staff to who lay on the gurney beneath them.

A small break in the crowded room revealed the body of a young man, bloody and bruised. Doug caught sight of the familiar watch and glint of silver from the solid metal band he wore on his left wrist.

Pacey's lay lifeless. Machines buzzed through the air over the chorus of doctors and nursing staff. The doors to the room swung out and in while bodies moved through them.

The sound of a long drone reverberated into the busy hall.

"He's crashing!" A doctor snapped, ripping Pacey's shirt open, buttons flew in all direction. A nurse hastily cut away at the bloodied fabric of his undershirt from his body.

Doug watched in terror while the doctor took charge in an attempt to restart his brother's heart. He felt a warm hand on his arm.

"I think it might be best if we found you a seat in the waiting area." Doug tore his eyes from the horrific scene unfolding briefly.

"I-I can't leave him." He said. He watched as Pacey's chest lifted up from the bed below as electricity surged through his body. Doug stood, unblinking. The constant drone of the heart monitored continued; a lifeless heart still resting within it's broken body. Doug looked on while they tried again, fear for his brother clutching at his own heart in it's icy grip like a vice. The young nurse kept her hand on Doug's arm.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The steady sound from the monitors helped to loosen the hold on his heart.

"Welcome back." The doctor murmured as he continued to check Pacey's injuries. Doug let out a deep breath of relief. "Let's get on to those scans and see what we're looking at." Doug allowed himself to be guided towards the row of chairs in the waiting room. He slumped down into the cold and unwelcoming moulded plastic chair, all train of thought disappearing the moment he saw Pacey's bloodied body lying on the gurney; a breath away from death.

A hand rested on his shoulder, Doug glanced up to read her hospital I.D tag; Sally Murtle.

"Do - do you know what's happening?" He asked, his voice timid. Void of all his usual bravado, replaced only by fear. Sally nodded her head.

"I will see what I can find out for you, Mr - "

"Doug." He smiled weakly.

"Ok Doug, i'll see what I can find out about your friend"

"Brother. He's my little brother. His name is Pacey." Sally smiled before walking away in search for information. Doug sat, hunched over. His eyes staring down at his hands without seeing anything.

For the first time in a long time Doug didn't know what to do. He had consoled families before and always knew what to do. Now, happening to him he had no idea what to do. Doug pulled his phone from his jacket pocket. His fingers hovered over the key pad momentarily before calling the familiar number, hoping the man of the house would not be the one to answer.

Gretchen swore as she rushed her way to the phone, subsequently stubbing her toe on the leg of the hall stand.

"Yeah?" Too tired for phone etiquette at four in the morning.

"Gretch?" Doug inquired, his voice timorous, shaking with emotion.

"Doug. What's wrong?" Gretchen could feel the panic rise in her body, something was wrong. Her usually brazen brother now sounding small and defeated. She could hear sounds in the background, voices and the beeping of machines. "Where are you?" She asked, noting the shaking in her own voice.

"It's. There's been an accident Gretch. It's Pacey, he's been in an accident."

"What?"

"His car came off the road out on Heston drive Gretch, the ice is dangerous. Oh god Gretch, his heart stopped, they had to restart his heart."

"Oh God, where are you Doug?"

"Boston"

"Is he going to be okay?" There was silence, Gretchen could feel the beating of her heart resounding through her entire body. "Doug!" She yelled, quickly beginning to lose grip on what little resolve she had left.

"I - I don't know, I am waiting to hear."

"Okay, i'm on my way okay Doug."

"Be careful of the roads Gretch." She nodded, knowing he couldn't see and so the gesture was useless. "Have you called..." Her words fell short of what she wanted to say, thankful for Doug's intuition.

"No. Not yet. " Doug frowned, hesitating. "I think I will wait until we know what's happening."

"Okay, yeah you're right." She said, catching a glimpse of their father standing in the hallway regarding her with curiosity. "I'll see you soon okay?"

"Okay, buy Gretch and watch the roads, take it easy."

"I will." Gretchen replaced the phone in it's cradle, she closed her eyes briefly before turning to her father.

John Witter stood in the darkness of the hall, back-lit by the moon casting it's glow through the glass panes of the windows. Gretchen hesitated before speaking.

"It's Pacey." She spoke.

"What's the useless fuck-up done now, thrown in a cell somewhere?" His voice laced with derision for his youngest child, void of warmth or any semblance of compassion. Gretchen grit her teeth. "There's been an accident, Pacey's in a bad way Dad." There was something in his stance which changed, momentary but Gretchen noted it none the less. Dissipated as quickly as it had appeared, replaced with the facade of arrogance John took with him everywhere he went.

Gretchen rushed back into her room to change, not caring why her father had chosen to remain silent at the news. Knowing she would never understand anyway. Gretchen removed the keys to the 'Witter Wagoneer' from the hook in the kitchen, she searched the darkness, her father no where to be seen. Assuming he had retreated back to the warmth of his bed, Gretchen stole away into the bitter cold.

Sally made her way down the brightly lit corridor, the sounds of medical equipment, moaning patients and families in varying stages of panic filled the air. Doug sat, holding a paper cup of tepid coffee between his legs. His head bowed in helplessness.

Sally bent down to rouse him from his thoughts.

"Doug" Keeping her voice soft so not to startle him. Doug look up to the nurse with hopeful eyes, he got to his feet.

"Your brother is heading to surgery. Scans showed a lacerated spleen, he also suffered a pneumothorax caused from broken ribs. They need to repair the damage but it is a fairly straight forward operation." Doug let out a breath of relief, allowing the restriction he had felt around his hear to loosen a bit more. He looked at Sally, giving her a smile of appreciation and then his face fell. It wasn't what she had said, at least not at first. It was the expression and how it had faltered if only for the most fleeting of moments. It had been there despite she had covered it well Doug had still seen it. He could feel the clutches over his heart again, what was wrong. A straight forward surgery would not cause such unease.

"There's something else?" He asked, afraid of what she would say. She smiled, it was a smile out of sympathy. It did not evoke joy or happiness and never reached her eyes. Sally gestured for Doug to sit down.

"Your brother has also sustained a head injury." Doug's face fell, not knowing what it meant he dropped his head into his hands. "While there does not appear to be major damage, there still shows signs of trauma. Until he wakes the extent won't be known." Doug sat nodding his head as she spoke, certain that only half of what she told him actually stuck.

Sally stood up to leave Doug to wait for Pacey's surgery to be completed, stating she would come to find him when he could see Pacey.

Doug said in the waiting room as he waited for more news of his brother's condition.

Joey woke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. She slowly opened her eyes to the morning sun as it filtered through a gap in the heavy drapes hanging over her window. She groaned, still weary from little sleep. Rolling onto her side Joey caught sight of the neatly wrapped gift with the green bow Pacey had given her the day before. She had yet to open it. Joey sat up and reached for the gift on her night stand.

_It would be rude to not open it._

Joey chewed on her lower lip as she gently slid the bow from the carefully wrapped object. She turned it over in her hands to pull the tape away carefully to reveal the jewellery box within. She caressed the box with delicate fingers, feeling the soft velvet beneath her skin. She took a breath as she opened the lid to reveal a silver charm bracelet, Joey too a sharp intake of air as she lifted it up from it's bed within the box. She held it up to admire the delicate chain. There was a charm already hanging from one of the links. Tears stung her eyes as she scrutinised the delicate silver charm, she bit down on her trembling lip.

A soft knock pulled Joey from the bracelet, Bessie walked into her room.

"Come on sleepy, you getting up?" Bessie regarded her sister, her eyes furrowed at the sad expression on Joey. "Hey you okay Jo?" She asked her. Joey began to cry as she lifted the bracelet up to her sister. Bessie took the bracelet in confusion.

"It's from Pacey" She said. Bessie nodded as she turned the small silver charm of a tiny pram in her fingers. Bessie moved to sit down on the bed next to her. Joey leaned over to pick the card up, she handed it to Bessie read. Bessie frowned, tears stinging her eyes.

"Oh, Jo. I am sorry you are going through this. The both of you. Maybe it would help if you both talked about it." Joey shook her head.

"I don't know Bess. The way he left yesterday." Joey sighed. "It was good bye."

Gretchen moved down the hallways of Boston General Hospital, moving hurriedly within the morning chaos. She caught sight of Doug standing talking to a doctor.

"Doug!" Doug turned to greet his sister, opening his arms to take her against him, holding her tight and not wanting to let go. Gretchen hugged her older brother fiercely. The doctor looked on with a soft smile, waiting for them to finish their reunion.

"Gretchen this is Dr Swansy" Gretchen took the doctors outstretched hand in hers and smiled.

"Gretchen" She said, shaking his hand. Dr Swansy nodded.

"As I was telling Doug, your brother's surgery was performed with no major problems and we were able to repair his spleen. He did, however sustain head injuries. The amplitude of these injuries is hard to guess at until he wakes up." The doctors brows furrowed "Your brother is not responding to outside stimuli and his brain activity has dropped, he is in a coma. " The doctor held his hand up as Doug began to speak. "Now I have no idea how long he will be in this state, it may be a matter of hours or a day or two. Until that happens we can only wait." Doug nodded, putting his arm around Gretchen's shoulder.

"Can we see him?" Gretchen asked in a hushed tone.

"Yes, he's been moved out of recovery and admitted to the ward, i'll have someone take you up."

"Thank you doctor" Doug smiled weakly. Dr Swansy nodded to them before leaving them to wait for their escort to see Pacey. Gretchen turned to her brother.

"Have you spoken to Joey?" She asked. Doug frowned and shook his head.

"No. I think I will call around there when I get back to Capeside this afternoon." Gretchen nodded. They stood in silence as the waited. Sally smiled as she saw Doug and Gretchen.

"I can take you to see Pacey now." They nodded and followed her to the elevators.

Sally moved to a door to a private room.

"Wow, a private room?" Gretchen asked incredulously at Doug. He shrugged and shook his head.

"Don't look at me." He spoke.

"Your father asked for the room when he called a few hours ago." Sally said. Doug and Gretchen looked at the nurse as though she had sprouted a second head.

"Wow, looks like our father slipped up, not the heartless bastard we all thought him to be." Gretchen mused as they followed Sally into the room.

Nothing had prepared Gretchen for the sight which lay before her in the hospital bed. Sleeping peacefully.

Gretchen's hand flew to her mouth.

"Oh, Pace." Tears formed in her eyes while she surveyed her brother. His face had bruises over most of it, dried blood clung to his skin, a few wounds had been stitched, others taped closed. A gauze bandage was fastened around his head. Pacey lay shirtless, a large bandage around much of his torso, a few scrapes and bruises littered his body and arms.

The vision of Pacey lying helpless caused Gretchen to feel nauseous with the fear of him have being so close to death.

She moved closer to the bed to sit on the chair next to him. Gretchen reached up to hold his hand, mindful of the numerous wires and cables connecting him to various machines around his bed.

"Hey Loser." She sniffed, kissing his knuckles softly. Doug moved to stand beside his sister, he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. They both stood by Pacey's bed in silence, watching and hoping he would open his eyes, to wake up and say something.

Doug mused that even a sarcastic quip; questioning his sexuality would be more than fine. Instead they were left with silence. The minutes turned into hours, Doug and Gretchen stayed with there brother for the entire day with no change.

Doug turned to Gretchen.

"I think I might head back to Capeside, I need to go and see Joey." Gretchen nodded at her brother, leaning over to kiss Pacey on the forehead.

"I had better go too, Pop's going to want the car back." Doug nodded, they both left Pacey's room, their arms around each other. Doug gave a regrettful look back at his brother before moving off down the corridor toward the exit.

Today had been the hardest, most emotional day he had endured. It would soon get a lot worse.


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N: Last chapter and then onto the Epilogue. Please R&R_

The Road Most Travelled

Chapter 19

Joey held the phone against her shoulder as she cleared the table after dinner.

"You never told me what Pacey's gift was Jo?" Jen asked her friend.

"He bought me a silver charm bracelet." She said. "With a charm of a pram." She smiled at how sweet and sensitive he had been. Despite it had saddened her, it amazed her at how articulate he had been and had not trivialised the miscarriage like Dawson had.

"Oh Joey, that's really beautiful. He's a sweety that boy of ours" Jen grinned, Joey chuckled.

There was a knock at the door, Joey looked up to see Bessie get up from the couch to answer it.

Bessie ushered Doug Witter inside out of the cold, Joey smiled and waved to him. Noting the expression on the older Witter's face Joey felt her heart skip a beat.

"Um, Jen. Can I call you back?"

"Err. Yeah. Is everything okay Joey?"

"I don't know. I'll talk soon bye" Joey quickly hung the phone up to move to Doug. She stood there waiting for him to speak. Bessie took his coat and gestured to the kitchen table where Joey stood.

"Doug?" There was apprehension and worry in her voice, Doug shifted uneasily on his feet. He took a breath to compose himself enough to be able to get out what he needed.

"Joey. There's been an accident"

Joey could feel her chest tighten at his words. "Is he ... is he..." She did not want to say it, did not want to ask the question.

"He's in a bad way Jo, but he's alive." Joey dropped herself to the kitchen chair in relief. "He's at Boston General." Doug pulled the chair out opposite Joey and sat down, smiling at Bessie as he accepted the hot coffee she set before him.

"What happened Doug?" Bessie asked, returning with a coffee for herself and Joey, sitting down at the table. Doug frowned.

"He was angry, he had a huge argument with our father and decided late last night that he would pack up and go home. It was the road, black ice. He came off the road and down into an embankment. His car hit a tree." Doug frowned, taking a sip of his coffee gingerly.

"How bad is he Doug?" Joey asked.

"Broken ribs, a lot of bruises and cuts, his lung collapsed and there was damage to his spleen which he needed surgery for. Some internal bleeding as well. He has also suffered head injury." Doug took a breath. "He's in a coma Joey. I don't know when he is going to wake up or how it's affected him, no one will know until he wakes up."

Joey tried to sit and absorb all the information Doug was giving her. She sat and nodded.

"Jo, you okay?" Bessie asked her. "It's okay Pacey will be okay Joey." She said in a meagre attempt to comfort her sister. Joey nodded and stood up, she walked to the door to remove her coat from the coat rack.

"I know i'm. I'm going to get some air." She said, needing to get out of the house. She was feeling suffocated.

Outside Joey zipped her coat up and pulled her hat down over her ears. She looked around her, taking in deep breaths. Joey began pacing the yard, trying to make sense of it all. Deciding to do the one thing she knew would give her comfort, she ran to Bessie's truck. Settling herself in the driver's seat, thankful Bessie had left the keys inside it. Joey started the car and backed out of the driveway and made her way down the road.

The sound of Joey's voice pulled Dawson from his thoughts as he sat at the kitchen table. Dawson stood up and walked towards the front door. Joey burst through, her eyes puffy and red from having cried the entire drive over. She fell against Dawson, pulling his body into hers. She began to sob uncontrollably, Dawson simply held her in shock at her sudden appearance. He held onto her tightly.

"What's happened Jo?" He asked her.

"There's been an accident." She said with exhaustion. Dawson's eyes widened.

"What, Bessie ..."

"No. No. Oh god it's Pacey." Joey pulled away from Dawson, looking into his eyes. "Pacey is - is in a coma." Joey began crying again. Dawson felt his heart skip a beat.

"What. When?"

"Late last night or this morning. He was going back to Boston. He had an argument with his Dad." Joey explained, breathing deeply in an attempt to calm herself down. Dawson lead her to sit down in the kitchen. "He lost control of the car and went off the road." Joey explained. Dawson sat nodding as Joey recounted everything Doug had told her.

"I need to go see him. He's in Boston. I just need to go see him." Joey stood up, preparing to leave. Dawson reached over to grab her arm.

"Jo. You can't, not now. Not when you are like this. I'll take you to see him tomorrow morning okay. You can't go now." Joey hesitated, she glanced toward the door. Dawson's eyes pleaded with her to see reason. Joey frowned before nodding in acquiescence and slumped back down into the chair.

"You're right, I know." Dawson watched as Joey sat, absently playing with a silver bracelet around her wrist.

"I guess it's the time of year for Pacey, always seems to bring arguments about. The other night at the party didn't go so well between us either." Joey gave Dawson a look of confusion. "The christmas party the other night." He elaborated.

"Pacey was here?" She asked. Dawson looked to Joey in confusion.

"Yeah, didn't you talk to him?" He asked incredulously. Joey shook her head.

"No. I spoke to him yesterday. Other than that I hadn't spoken to him since the morning we left Boston."

"Oh" Dawson spoke with surprise. "Well we had an argument that night, After he saw our mistletoe kiss." Dawson regarded Joey's guilty look. "He said that it didn't bother him. He spoke about moving on and everything, kind wanting to wash his hands of the lot of us all." Dawson snorted.

"Yeah i'm sure that's all you two discussed Dawson" There was a hint of accusation in her voice. "I know you, especially when it comes to Pacey."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He asked her. Joey shook her head, not wanting to get into an argument. She had enough to worry about without this.

"Look, nothing Dawson. I am not getting into this with you. Not now. After everything, it just is not important." Joey sighed and stood up. "I am going to head home. I'll see you in the morning?" Dawson nodded, walking her to the front door. Joey hugged him goodnight. "Thanks Dawson."

"It's going to be okay Joey. Pacey will be fine. He's too stubborn not to be." Dawson smiled. Joey pushed her hands into her jacket pockets and nodded.

"I know, it's just sometimes I can't help but think i'm cursed or something. Completely irrational but..." She gave a lopsided smile.

"What do you mean Joey?"

"It's just that everyone I love seems to leave me in some way or another. Mom, Dad, the baby" She held her hand to her stomach "Now Pacey." She frowned and turned to walk to her truck. Waving over her shoulder "Night Dawson"

"Night Jo."

Dawson stood in the cold of his back yard watching Joey drive away. He sighed and wondered when Joey was going to give up. He never understood how she still loved Pacey as much as she did. A high school love affair could not truly survive the trials of adulthood could it?

Dawson shook his head and made his way back into the house.

Joey walked down the brightly lit hallways of Boston General. The smell of disinfectant invaded her nostrils, she made her way to the nurses station, pulling a container of cookies from her bag.

"Morning Gloria" She grinned at a middle aged woman sitting behind a computer.

"Joey, how are you today?" Joey grinned and handed the woman the container of cookies.

"Great, Grams' made a batch of oatmeal cookies for you ladies." She smiled. Gloria's eyes lit up.

"Thank you Joey."

Joey said goodbye and made her way to Pacey's room. Joey made her way to a vase on the night stand by the bed busying herself by removing the old bouquet of flowers and replacing the vase with the flowers she had brought with her.

"That's better, hey Pace." She giggled. "Not that I think you really care either way huh?" Joey smiled and turned to Pacey as he lay in the bed. The bruising around his face had mostly faded. Joey sat down regarding him, he looked so peaceful. Joey reached for his hand.

"I am pretty sure I aced that french art history exam yesterday." She smiled, running her thumb over the back of his hand. It had been almost three weeks since Pacey's accident with no change. Joey had visited him at least once a day, hoping everyday he would wake up. She missed his voice, she missed being able to see his eyes. "You know, I think Jack has met someone, his name is Sam. He's really sweet and quite handsome." She smiled. "Jen said she will be by tomorrow morning, I will come by in the afternoon after classes." She chuckled as she smoothed the blankets out. "You know me, I don't have a social life. Dawson has gone back to L.A so my social circle has gotten a little smaller."

Joey frowned, looking outside at the busy city beyond.

"You know Pace, I can't be expected to argue with you if you won't argue back. It's really boring. So...I think maybe you should just wake up ok. I really need you to wake up because I miss you. I miss you so much." Joey lifted Pacey's hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles gently. She sat in silence holding his hand to her lips, staring at his sleeping face.

"I am so sorry Pacey, i'm sorry for everything. I am sorry for your dad being a jerk. I'm sorry about your argument with Dawson the night before your accident." Joey sniffed back the tears in her eyes. "I am sorry most of all for not being all that you need. For being someone you can't love anymore. For not being enough for you, for being someone you needed to say goodbye to." Joey stood up and leaned over, kissing him softly on the lips. Her tears fell unchecked to land on Pacey's cheek unnoticed. "I'll see you tomorrow Pace" Joey turned and quickly left the room.

Pacey's hand came up to wipe Joeys tear from his face. To remove any evidence that she was in pain and he had broken her heart.

"You're more than enough Jo, you always have been. The problem is me." Pacey whispered into the empty room he lay upon the bed in.

Joey rushed towards the dorms of Worthington, after a full day of classes Joey was anxious to get back to the hospital after not having seen him since the morning of the day before. Joey rushed through the halls of the dorms in a frenzy. She threw the door to her room open in haste, throwing her bag down and moving to her closet to pick out something to wear.

Joey was combing her hair when there was a knock on her door.

"Oh, hey Jen. I'm about to head over to the hospital to see Pacey." She said tying her hair back and sitting on the bed to pull her boots on.

Jen frowned, she shook her head at her.

"Joey, he's gone."

"What?"

"He had already left when I got there this morning, he'd checked himself out of the hospital yesterday."

"Well, where is he Jen?" Jen bit her lip and shrugged.

"I-I don't know Joey." Joey noticed her friends anxiously shifting from one foot to the other.

"Jen, what's going on. Where is he. You know where he is don't you." Jen nodded solemnly, hating Pacey for putting her into the middle of it all.

"New York. He moved to New York."

"To finish up his work with Equinox?" Joey asked, relieved knowing the Equinox job in New York was only temporary. Jen shook her head.

"No. He's taking a job in the city. Danny Brecher offered him a permanent position in his restaurant. He moved out of the apartment in Boston."

Joey felt like her entire world had crumbled down around her, she sat down, gasping for air at the shock.

Pacey was gone, he had left her.

Run away.

Broken her heart.

_Again_.


	20. Epilogue

_A/N: I wrote this and read over it then decided to completely re-write it, so here it is. Please R&R (Additional notes at the end)_

The Road Most Travelled

Epilogue

The cool winds gave way to the soft, fragrant breeze of late spring. Leaving behind the heavy veil of winter, the events of past months lifted away with the harsh weather. It left behind an optimistic promise. Hoping things would get better, time would heal the broken hearts which remained behind.

Joey stood at the end of the dock, fingering the silver bracelet from Pacey, lost in thought.

Her second year at Worthington finally coming to and end, leaving her with a mix of emotions. A sense of accomplishment from another year of growth, with the knowledge she would move forward into her third year after the summer ended.

She could not hide the feeling sitting deep within her, the feeling she now found herself much in the same situation as she had been during that summer after high school graduation.

The sense of loneliness and abandonment.

The ache in her chest had not dissipated, it hung there and threatened to erupt inside of her.

All academic growth and achievement aside, she felt eighteen again, feeling her body washed with sadness over a boy who had broken her heart again. She felt angered, knowing it all she had to stop herself from breaking down.

Joey had been to this place before, travelled this road, and now she felt it's familiarity seeping in.

The worn wooden boards creaked and groaned beneath Jen as she made her way to the end to sit beside Joey. She looked out to the creek flowing past the B & B. They sat in silence, neither one speaking, each waiting for the other.

"I keep trying to move forward Jen, but it doesn't seem to make a difference." Joey sighed, looking down at the small pram on her bracelet. "I always seem to find my way back here, just can't seem to shake the ghosts of this place. Two years have passed and I am still here, sitting on my dock after Pacey has left, without a word."

Jen put a hand on Joey's back, moving her hand in circles of comfort.

"I know it's hard Joey. Things will get better." Joey raised a brow at her friend, wondering if it were true. It felt as though it had taken her too long for the cracks to reseal before. Now it appeared was a completely foreign concept. "I can always hunt him down in New York if you like, I know a lot of seedy places I can dump the body" Jen batted her eyes innocently.

Joey snorted in spite of how she was feeling, she patted Jen's knee thankful for the light hearted statement.

"Thanks Jen, but that won't be necessary." She grinned. Jen nodded.

"Ok, but just think about it."

Joey and Jen turned to the creek again, slipping into a comfortable silence.

Joey forced herself to look towards her summer in Capeside, another summer working at the Capeside Yacht Club under the disdain of Mrs Valentine. Happy Jen had obtained employment along side her for summer, which would provide ample distraction for her.

Joey knew once she returned to Boston most of the walls she would spent the summer building around her would begin to crumble back down. Boston would serve as a reminder to her of the past two years of her life and those years; Pacey was there.

Now, he wasn't taking a trip or a summer job away. This time he had left, he had finally made the decision to do what he had planned, what he had told her before graduation.

_"I think I-I should probably go off and live my own life for a little while." _

Maybe he had the right idea, it certainly was not healthy to live mutually dependent on others, especially when you felt you needed the other to help you feel complete.

Joey knew she could no longer look to Pacey for that, her happiness and success was not based on her proximity to him.

She was not angry for the reason he left, not once Jen had explained to her. Grabbing hold of an opportunity of a lifetime was amazing, he would have been crazy not to go for it. Pacey's love for food and the life within the kitchen was inspiring, he was amazing at it also. Joey knew he was proud of his accomplishments and this realisation was completely and utterly immeasurable. Pacey had always gone through life thinking he would live a life of mediocrity. Pacey's parents had raised him in a way where his failures were the only thing which was ever acknowledged.

Joey had always been proud of Pacey, she had been proud of his achievements. His biggest achievement being the man he had become, the person he _always_ was deep inside.

Pacey, the man who lived unselfishly. Who gave unconditionally and loved with all he had.

All of this aside, the anger in the pit of her stomach had risen from one fact; Pacey had left, without a word.

He had left, he had not trusted Joey enough to share this big decision with her. Not knowing she would be proud of him and be happy for him.

Joey wondered if he honestly knew her to begin with.

She sat, staring out over the creek, even after Jen had made her way inside.

Joey would have been proud.

She would have been happy. Right?

Pacey had left, without a word.

Joey thought about it, a single tear falling.

He was the person who knew her best.

They didn't need ten years to know this one truth.

She would have been upset.

He would have seen it.

Fourteen hour shifts.

Six days a week.

Social life?

What social life?

Life was good.

Pacey pushed his way through the door of the apartment he shared with one hormonal and excessively emotional pregnant woman. Anything was likely to trigger an hour long rant over the absence of ice-cream and cheddar flavoured Doritos in lieu of a spoon.

Pacey entered the kitchen, calling out.

"Lucy, i'm home."

"Bring the ice-cream, I have the Doritos Ricky!" Pacey chuckled, packing the two of the three tubs of ice-cream in the freezer and walking into the living room. Audrey sat, with a movie waiting in the VCR for Pacey's return.

Pacey leant down to kiss Audrey on the head.

"How was your day dear?" He asked handing the ice-cream to her. Pacey headed to his bedroom to change out of his work clothes. Emerging in a sleeveless shirt and his boxers, he threw himself down with exhaustion.

"The usual I guess, soccer match being played when i tried to take a nap, copious amounts of toilet breaks and his foot continuously being jammed under my ribs." Pacey smiled nodding. The baby was always greatly active, as he looked over to Audrey he could see her belly moving wildly beneath the thin cotton of her nightgown.

The past four and a half months had seen Pacey and Audrey become incredibly close. He could not imagine not living with her, despite her hormonal tantrums. Other than those, they lived with each other happily. Audrey looked Pacey over.

"Why do you insist on getting around in your underwear?" Audrey asked. Pacey grinned at her, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Come on now Audrey, you act like we have never seen each other naked before. Incase you have forgotten." Pacey said leaning toward her. "We used to sleep together, in the biblical sense." Audrey rolled her eyes.

"I am well aware of that Pacey."

"Besides, it's hot in here and you are certainly not dressed to hide your modesties either." Pacey gestured to Audrey's short night gown. Audrey snorted. "Just admit it Audrey, you want me."

Audrey gasped, wide eyed and slapped Pacey's chest. "Pacey, don't flatter yourself." She glared at him, a hint of humour in her eyes.

"Okay, but the offers there, you know when you want to induce labour."

"I knew getting you to read those pregnancy books was a bad idea."

Pacey chuckled before his expression taking on a serious look.

"How'd the scan go today?"

Audrey looked to Pacey and frowned. "Still the same, placenta is too low. Now way i am having this baby naturally." Pacey frowned, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side.

"It's going to be okay. I mean there's not much you can do about it."

Since Audrey knew about the low lying placenta she had begun to freak out, part hormones and part over active imagination. After researching the condition Audrey had become hysterical at the possibility it could be fatal for either her or the baby or even both.

Pacey had tried to console her, stating her worries were the worst case scenario. Everything would turn out fine.

She had calmed down at his words, knowing she was overreacting and as long as the hospital knew and she had the caesarian before she went into labour, everything would be alright.

It did not stop her mind from wandering and inventing worse case possibilities up in her head. One concern would make it's way into many of their conversations. The last of which had occurred the night before.

_"Pacey, if something happens to me-"_

_"Audrey we've had this discussion before. Nothing is going to happen to you."_

_"Okay Pace but, if something does. Would you care for the baby, like he was your own?" Pacey groaned at this, the conversation was exhausting. They had been here before, many times. Pacey's answer was always the same._

_"You know I would Audrey."_

_Audrey nodded in satisfaction. _

_"I know. Thank you Pacey, because you are the closest thing he has to a father."_

_Pacey didn't want to push the issue, he had already tried with no success for her to tell Dawson about the baby. She refused, would not listen to reason. _

_Pacey had brought the issue up a few times in the last few months and the answer was always a no. Lately Pacey had noticed she was not only simply saying, no but a definite NO. She seemed angry about it all. Something seemed to have shifted. _

Audrey's voice pulled Pacey from his thoughts.

"Did you know that every one at the doctors clinic and the hospital thinks we're married?" She chuckled, digging her Dorito chip into her ice-cream. Pacey's eyebrow lifted at her.

"Oh, really?" He smirked. "Wouldn't have anything to do with you telling them all that."

"Ha, okay you got me on that. But I can't have them all think that i am going to be an unwed mother Pacey." Pacey rolled his eyes, snorting. "You have come to most of the appointments and scans so they assumed that on their own." Pacey nodded, he had made sure he had been there for Audrey the entire time, appointments and shopping for baby items. Pacey had even bought a few items himself.

It had helped to take his mind off things, mostly guilt.

He had not thought his leaving was abandoning Joey, he knew she would be better on her own, without him to ruin everything. Dawson had been right. As much as he hadn't wanted to hear it at the time he knew the statement to be true. Pacey also knew he had been a coward, leaving without saying so much as goodbye.

The truth was he knew he could not bare to look into Joeys eyes and see the pain in them.

The pain he had caused her, that had not been the first time either.

Too much for his already fragile heart.

"Besides." Audrey broke through his reverie "If anything happens to me, at least they all will know the baby's father."

And here we go again. Another conversation.

He usually agreed, rolling his eyes.

Ever the dramatic actress that one.

Most of the time Pacey had put it all down to neurotic pregnancy behavior.

Hormones.

Completely outlandish notions and little thought out plans.

An absurdly hypothetical situation.

Until the day he sat in uncomfortable hospital plastic chairs.

A situation no longer hypothetical.

**THE END**

_Now I know everyone probably hates how it ended and I would like to take this moment to ease your minds - The sequel to this story will have Angst (A DC prerequisite) also romance, banter and the ever important grand romantic gestures._


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